TSA Striles Again!!

H46Bubba

Well-Known Member
Man my contempt for the TSA increased two fold. We had a new check in to our squadron yesterday, who had an interesting story. He was on travelling on Official Government Orders from his home to here in San Diego. He was travelling in uniform. His bags were searched by the beloved TSA and they found his boots which are steel toed. Well they never returned them to him. They removed them from his bag and never put them back. He's a newbie to the Navy, so he doesn't know any better. The boots are part of his required uniform items by the Navy. Probably not much we could do about it.
 

Derg

Cap, Roci
Staff member
I was doing my preflight checks in ATL a few days ago, and there was this guy with a funny colored vest that said "security" on it.

Sitting in first class, reading a newspaper not paying attention to anything.

His walkie-talkie blurbs something and he neatly folds his newspaper, tucks it underneath his arm and walks off the jet.

Wow, it ain't security, it's 'securiTAY'!
 

cointyro

New Member
I was preflighting my Buick the other day at GAS (station), and this guy was just hanging out looking all wierd, then I realized he was the station attendant. Creeped me out for a moment though... the guy must have thought I was named David.

Ha ha, which brings up another point... wouldn't a T-shirt with the phrase "Nah, you want the other David Nelson..." make a good seller? Bleh, maybe not. Cafe Press, anyone?
 

EDUC8-or

Well-Known Member
I was in MCO the other day waiting to pass security and I think I ticked off the TSA dude working the X-Ray machine.

I took off my shoes and was waiting to put them on the conveyor belt and the agent insisted that I put them on (the belt) when I insisted there was no room on the belt yet and I had to wait. He again told me to put my shoes on the belt along with my bag and I told him the bags would just sit on the piece of metal and not go anywhere. He was pretty rude and I was very polite the entire time. I wonder if he knows how that belt works. Maybe he goes to his local Publix (grocery stores in FL) and has some problems with the conveyor belt there.

Here's a great article about the TSA in the New York Times.
ARTICLE
 

TrinidadGT20

Vice President of Awesome
EDUC-8,

First off, I love the picture. The Duke's are awesome!

I guess I'm probably one of the few people who hasn't had an issue with the TSA. I'm sure my days are numbered though.

One thing that really fries my noodle is when I fly on an airline that I have never flown before I automatically get searched before going on the plane. The first time I flew United I got searched. Ditto for Delta. Ditto for SW. I flew four trips on USAir and got searched everytime. But since I signed up for FF miles on USAir I don't seem to get searched anymore...hmmm.
 

pilot602

If specified, this will replace the title that
[ QUOTE ]
"One of the airports we work with described having the T.S.A. on site as having an army of occupation take over your airport. Unfortunately, it's the French Army," Mr. Boyd cracked.


[/ QUOTE ]

That is too funny.

We need bumper stickers that say this to put on our flight bags!
 

Tim

New Member
I use to commute from ATL to MCO and it never failed I would get screened. I once set the wand off with a small tube of blistex lip balm. I was reading Doug's statement about what happened in ATL the other day, well now they have started wanding cabin service before the go up the jetway steps. I thought they had already passed a background check. So much for a through check. I dont care what the gov't or TSA say the security isnt any better and never will get better. The only thing thats going to change is the lines get longer and less people fly because of it. Its amazing how many people miss their flight due to security checkpoints. It now doesnt matter what time you get there you still will have to wait. Unless you get there at 5 am for a 10 am flight. Its frustrating to us ramp rats because of the delays taken and the fact that we have to remove that at departure time and its usually one of the first ones on and in front of 150 bags. Nothing like loading and unloading an airplane twice.
 

cointyro

New Member
Tim, that sux you have unload all the freakin' bags. But then again, a good workout! Keeps you warm on those chilly DEN nights.
 

kellwolf

Piece of Trash
[ QUOTE ]
I wonder if he knows how that belt works. Maybe he goes to his local Publix (grocery stores in FL) and has some problems with the conveyor belt there.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am constantly amazed at how little some of these people know. I have to deal with them on a near daily basis at MCO, so what you said doesn't really surprise me. They like to change rules there without telling anyone, then when you do things the 'old' way, they act all superior. We have a tool at work called a 'bin pin' that is an L-shaped piece of aluminum used to keep cargo bin doors from slamming into your head. Of course they all have ROUNDED edges and are about four inches long. I have had about 4 of these taken by TSA either because (1) they thought it could be used to gouge out a pilot or flight attendents eye, therefore allowing me to hija....er, log turbine time or (2) they just didn't know what the hell it was, so it must be Bad.

BTW, at MCO TSA stands for Thousands Standing Around.....
 

kellwolf

Piece of Trash
[ QUOTE ]
Its frustrating to us ramp rats because of the delays taken and the fact that we have to remove that at departure time and its usually one of the first ones on and in front of 150 bags. Nothing like loading and unloading an airplane twice.

[/ QUOTE ]

AMEN, brother! You can always count on 1-3 minutes before push either someone not showing, and you have to dig through hundreds of bags, plus freight and mail sometimes, to get to one bag that is always described as being a 'black rolling bag.' Or you get the parents running down the jetway with their four kids and three strollers wanting to know why they can't sit together.
 

EDUC8-or

Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
I have never been searched - I guess it is to do with your mannerisms.


[/ QUOTE ]

I've been searched several times. I was flagged to be searched. As soon as my boarding pass was scanned, the little digital readout told the gate agent that I was to be searched. It doesn't bother me if I'm not flying SWA (when you lose your spot in the cattle corral. MOOOO!!) If I'm flying SWA and I'm close to the front of the herd and then I'm reduced to sitting between two huge dudes (I'm around 6'2") I get irked.

I'm always very cooperative and I even laugh when the agent makes me take off my shoes and wands them. It never fails to see his head cock back after he smells my kicks. My feet STINK!
 

tonyw

Well-Known Member
On my last trip, one of the TSA guys made me take off my Tevas and put them through the machine! The person who was working the X-ray looked at me, and I said, hey, talk to your friend over there. I think it's pretty disgusting. The X-ray guy said, yeah, you're right, and shook his head.

I feel sorry for the poor dumb bastard who had his bag next to my stinky Tevas. Oh, maybe that was it. They thought I would set off a stink bomb on the plane.
 

aloft

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
I was reading Doug's statement about what happened in ATL the other day, well now they have started wanding cabin service before the go up the jetway steps. I thought they had already passed a background check. So much for a through check.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was a show on airport security on the Discovery Wings channel last weekend; someone had tipped the airport police that a British Airways flight attendant wasn't who he said he was. Turns out the dude (of middle eastern descent) had stolen the identity of a child who'd died 25 years earlier and had been working for BA, even applied for their pilot training program. After confronted with the evidence the police had uncovered in his apartment, the guy said he was Lebanese and had an abusive father and ran away as a teen to Greece and was gay, which wouldn't be tolerated in his culture or family, yada yada yada. To my ears, the story was too well-thought out, and I'd bet a dollar that he was an al Qaeda "sleeper". Think about it; it takes a ton of time and money to "infiltrate" the pilot ranks at a major airline, but next to no time to become a flight attendant--it's not like FAs have to work at a regional before heading to the majors.
 
G

Guest

Guest
Quick question for anyone who knows anything about the TSA screening. On my return flight from PVD to ATL last Sunday, the TSA agent said he needed to do some additional screening on my bag. He then took my bag over to another TSA agent who had a wand with a wad of cloth on the end. He then swept the cloth over the bag handles and zippers and put it in some sort of machine. What the crap is that test? Anyone know. Thank ye
 

Derg

Cap, Roci
Staff member
I think the swab is for the chemical 'sniffer' that looks for traces of explosives.
 

pilot602

If specified, this will replace the title that
[ QUOTE ]
What the crap is that test?

[/ QUOTE ]

The-wand-with-a-piece-of-cloth-on-the-end test?


Seriously, I think its a bomb detection (explosives residue) test.
 

Timbuff10

Well-Known Member
That is called an Explosive Trace Detection system. It is set up to test for like a million different things ranging from Nitroglycerin, TNT, PETN, RDX, Gasoline, all the way to stuff like drugs and perfume. If it goes off on your bag, don't expect to make your flight!

Basically they are supposed to swab the bag or whatever item it is six times on handles and places that you normally would touch it. If the guy is an [expletive deleted] or idiot he will swab the rollers on the bag or the bottoms of your feet/shoes. 9 times out of 10 you will have a positive reading at that point because you most likely walked on a road or something where trace particles of gasoline stuck to your feet/bag rollers.

The funny thing about this machine and most others that the TSA uses is that the people using them don't know how to operate them as they should. I ended up explaing how they work to the dumb ass ex-military guys and blonds that got the leadership positions.

Judging from all of your replies, it seems that the honeymoon is over with the TSA. Up till a few months ago most people said "give them some time, they are new... etc, etc" Now most people are saying "Geez these guys are incompetant morons".

From what I can see here in DEN, all the highly educated and higher qualified/paid workers that were hired last September are gone. All that is left are the same idiots that were there before the TSA arrived (wackenhut, argenbright...etc) The only real difference is that they are just being paid even less now, but they have that same juicy turd in a nice new uniform with the US flag on it.

TSA = Tards Searching Around

One more thing that will make some of you neat freaks FREAK OUT!

They use the same swab all day till it goes off. If it doesnt alarm then that same swab that was wiped on the inside of that slobs shoe in front of you will be wiped on your toothbrush case, laptop keys or whatever it is they decide to wipe on while you watch.

Can you imagine how funky that carpet is around the security checkpoints....ewwwwwwwwww

I'm out!
 

Tim

New Member
The way I see (speaking on 12 yrs in the airline industry, for what its worth) the chemical sniffer hasnt a clue to what the new stuff might be. I figure I will be a 777 capt before the TSA gets the security right. And I only have a Private with instrument rating...Gotta love the gov't.
 

Kristie

Mama Bear....
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
I think the swab is for the chemical 'sniffer' that looks for traces of explosives.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah - i had to deal with that in MKE the other weekend...

it was interesting, cuz when i checked in at ticketing the agent says "ahhh, you get to go through the "special screening" kinda chuckling... i said "yep, usually do!" and went my merry way...

once i got to the security checkpoint - the dude says "ahhh, you get to go through special security screening - do you know what that is young lady?"... i decided to pretend like i'm a blonde bombshell with noodles for brains and had him explain it to me - that was pretty darn amusing! hahaha

but anyways - I got to go through a whole different section (behind, probably bulletproof, glass and it was "special"... they sniffed my bag (predictable), screened my open toes shoes (predictable)... but the lady had to feel my underwire bra (where does it say that you have to touch my frontal breastige area in the manual???? can anyone find that for me?) AND she actually wanded my BARE FEET... believe it or not ... and then cuz i didn't lift my feet high enough for her reach - she had to do it again...i had no socks on... geez, could i really hide something inside my foot????????

hmmmm - that was the only recent experience that kinda irked me.. but i'd really like to know if TSA agents are allowed to touch those particular "areas" just cuz the wand screams "underwire"... next - they'll be asking us women to take off the underwire bra's and wear special bra's through the airport.. sheesh...hahahhaa
 
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