Those were the days; military pilot.

MikeD

Administrator
Staff member
In fighter pilot heaven....[MikeD comments in brackets]

*Everybody's a Captain except God, he's a Major [me: forever Captain]

*You only come to work when you're going to fl

*You fly two times a day except Friday

*You never run out of gas or bullets [always a pain having munitions to drop, but being bingo fuel]

*The missions are only one hour long and no briefings/debriefings are
ever required [Amen, sat in one F-16 debrief that went 6.7 hours!]

*You never have to wear a G-suit [uncomfortable as heck]

*Onboard radars are all strong, and never break lock [don't matter to me!]

*You're always TDY, and there are no check rides

*It's always VFR, and there are never any ATC delays [a must with the 1950s-era Beech Bonanza IFR panel of the A-10]

*You can fly out of the area [same old Gila Bend gets boring]

*There are no areas

*Flight down to 50' AGL is approved and encouraged

*There are no "over Gs" [easy to do, not with the jet, but with what's hanging underneath it]

*You always fly the overhead with initial at 20' AGL, then break left

*You can go cross country anytime you desire, the farther, the better

*There are no ORIs [biggest pain in the butt...readiness inspections]

*There is no SOF or mobile/RSU [less adult supervision, the better]

*There are no Friday meetings, but the Friday evening Stag bar is
mandatory [Stag bars no longer PC, that's too bad....we need them]

*There are no Flight Surgeons

*There are no Wing/Group or higher staff jobs [staff pukes....useless]

*All pilots are issued a Rolex or Breitling, and their choice of a
Corvette or Porsche [The gaudier, the better....replace "Corvette or Porsche" with "Kenworth or Peterbilt"]

*You don't need a kitchen pass, and the kitchen and bar are always open

*There are always at least five $100 bills in your pocket [I wish]

*Happy Hour begins at 1400 and lasts until 0200

*SuperSDO is the bartender, the other five are well endowed blondes [duty officer/bartender....been there....]

*Beer is free, but whiskey costs five cents

*The bar serves only Chivas Regal, Jack Daniels, Beefeaters, or
Jerimiah Weed [Colt 45 also]

*The girls are all friendly and each pilot is allowed three [a nice crowd]

*There are no overweight women, and the thin ones look like DEnise Richards

*Country western music is free on the juke [questionably heavenly]

*The craps tables are always hot, and you never lose at blackjack

*You never lose your room key, and your buddies never leave you
stranded at the club

*Saluting is not required [EVER!]

*Scarves are forbidden, and you're encouraged to roll up the flight
suit sleeves [scarves are for the loops-to-music Thunderbirds types and wannabes; I'm ussually seen with 5 o'clock shadow, rolled up flightsuit sleeves, undone zippers, no t-shirt underneath, and zipper 1/4 down]

*The motor pool always has a staff car for visiting pilots [prefer a camo Blazer]

*The Base Exchange always has every item you ask for, most of which are free [anybody been to the exchange AAFES (Army Air Force Exchange Service....looking at the demographics of the workers, should be Asian American Female Employment Service]

*There are never any crosswind landings, and the runway is always dry

*Drag chute landings are never required [I'll find out about that soon]

*Control tower flybys for a wheels up check must be made at 600 knots [absoultely!]

*There are never any noise complaints [F%cking Scottsdale!]

*Full AB [afterburner] climbs over base housing are always encouraged [especially over housing at civilian fields]

*OPRs always contain the statement "Outstanding Officer" [or other suitable BS comments]

*Formal functions requiring Class A/Mess Dress or other formal attire
never occur [Amen!]

*"Ace" status is conferred upon all pilots entering heaven

*There is no hell

*All Air Traffic Controllers are friendly and always provide priority
handling

*Airplanes never break

*All fighters have one, and only one, seat [Amen to that too]
 

Derg

Cap, Roci
Staff member
Next time you see a 'ring knocker' around the base, Mike, tell him "Fast neat average friendly good good" for me, ok?
 

MikeD

Administrator
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
Next time you see a 'ring knocker' around the base, Mike, tell him "Fast neat average friendly good good" for me, ok?


[/ QUOTE ]

Ahhhhh.....the ring knocker secret handshake.

Didn't some ring knocker cadet nitwit, post 9/11, send that written on a napkin to the cockpit of an airliner with two civilian-born pilots in it; they had no damn clue what it meant, and ended up with the kid being detained?
 

aloft

New Member
Then there was the story of the homeless drunk who was heard to be muttering those six words to himself......seriously! (If eDodo.org can be considered a trusted source, hehehe)
 

Derg

Cap, Roci
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
A "ring knocker" would be a USAFA grad??

[/ QUOTE ]

Yup!

In fact, a lot of my pals that were AFA grads refer to it as "boys school"... at least the guys who graduated prior to 75.
 

MikeD

Administrator
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
A "ring knocker" would be a USAFA grad??

[/ QUOTE ]

In this context, correct.

In more accurate context, a ringknocker is a grad from any of the academies....from the Air Force zoo to Canoe U.
 

MikeD

Administrator
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
Know any Class of 95 guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

I work with a few.

Doug....Class of 79 has "LCWB" engraved on their rings.....Last Class With Balls.
 

Derg

Cap, Roci
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
Canoe U.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahh yes, "Boat School for Wayward Youth"!

Gotta love those Barnacle Bill songs though.
 

Derg

Cap, Roci
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Know any Class of 95 guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

I work with a few.

Doug....Class of 79 has "LCWB" engraved on their rings.....Last Class With Balls.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's right, I thought it was 75 because one of my pals was a 75 grad.
 
Top