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The Toll

Discussion in 'Member Announcements' started by rockman2343@aol.com, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. Maximillian_Jenius

    Maximillian_Jenius Super User

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    I was just saying that both marriage/family and career are both important. That they make a person well-rounded. Just as our lives shouldn't be only about procreation as religious zealots suggest. I believe that life is more than just about family and that as an individual, we need something, a challenge. That makes us want to get up in the morning and fully engage life. Likewise a good career without a partner and a family to share the spoils of success with also make for a singular existence.
     
    milleR likes this.
  2. rockman2343@aol.com

    rockman2343@aol.com Well-Known Member

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    I agree with what you say about us being ego driven, and he whole what we do, vs who we are thing. I'm sure there is a little of that in me, but I honestly believe it is not the primary reason for continuing to be a pilot.

    I'm not quite sure where I waiver with what I want to do with my money. It's always been to provide a better life for my family, and I don't think I've posted anything other than that.

    I guess I just don't see how going from working 22-28 days a month, down to essentially 1 week on and 1 week off, is me choosing to continue down the same line. I'll be with my kids more and taking a pay cut.

    Anyhow I hear what you are trying to say and thank you for the sentiment.
     
  3. OneNineHundy

    OneNineHundy Well-Known Member

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    Best of luck Rockman. I had my first child last week and the thought of not being together as a family is sure not a nice one. You sound like a good guy and thanks for sharing your story. It has definitely made me think and for that I thank you.

    Sent from my SM-N920I using Tapatalk
     
  4. Cherokee_Cruiser

    Cherokee_Cruiser Well-Known Member

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    Sorry I don't know the details, is it over over? Any chance of counseling, etc?

    My only input is if you have 8 days off, your comment of working in sims on those days off. You need to have absolute days off with the family. As in, days off in which you are literally off with no outside work. And that's especially doubly true if you are commuting, since that's going to cut into more time from home.

    I'm by no means a long-timer in the airlines or even married life, but for my wife and kid (to be kids soon), I have to say the biggest thing is to be there on my days off for them and especially more so when commuting. Check in with them every so often. How they're really feeling, how the kid(s) feeling, any issues/problems, and then address them ASAP. For me, I've noticed that system works pretty well.
     
  5. Plata

    Plata Well-Known Member

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    Is the OP the person who was fired for abandoning his trip in progress to go home to do a brake job on his car?

    I recall a long, drawn out thread with lots of "woe is me" and "boo hoo hoo" over the company not being understanding about his justification for bailing on his trip, which was: not being able to figure out an alternate means of transportation for his wife.
     
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  6. rockman2343@aol.com

    rockman2343@aol.com Well-Known Member

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    Thanks! Congrats on the child, it's going to be the best thing that happened to you! It was for me twice. :)
     
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  7. rockman2343@aol.com

    rockman2343@aol.com Well-Known Member

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    If we ever did get together we'd need counseling for sure, we'd have to try something different this time.
    You are right, part of the problem is my time at home, I was not completely at home. I had 3 part time jobs in Phoenix. It definitely was a major player in the break up.
    I may not be able to fix things with the ex, but I've cut back drastically on my schedule, so that I can be there with them and have 50/50 custody.
     
  8. mshunter

    mshunter Well-Known Member

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    Guy goes through divorce, pilot community lambasts him.

    Way to stay classy guys.
     
  9. BigZ

    BigZ Well-Known Member

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    Look at the bright side - zero requests for wife's pics to determine the feasibility of mending the relationship.
     
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  10. NovemberEcho

    NovemberEcho Well-Known Member

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    Man people are divorced and live in different states and see there kids less than 6 days a week and still have good relationships with their kids. You do you and what you gotta do. Taking a job thats going to make you miserable and pissed off all the time will make your kids wish you weren't home every night.
     
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  11. touch-n-go

    touch-n-go Well-Known Member

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    I think your desire to provide a better life for your family is a good one, and one that most men have by instinct. It seems to me that men often, by instinct, want to express their love for their loved ones by doing, for them. It almost seems to me that we get a sense of who we are through what we do. The danger, of-course, is that, as posted by others, if there is no balance, the very thing we are doing in the name of helping our families, can actually end up alienating them, if there is no balance.

    It is unfortunate in your present circumstance, that something went amiss in your relationship with your wife, which may, or may not even entirely be your fault, or even entirely your job's fault. It seems to me, it always "takes two to tango" so to speak. Never the less, I wish you the best of luck with your family, especially your children. May you do what is truly best for them.
     
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  12. mshunter

    mshunter Well-Known Member

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    My ex-wife was hot as doodoo (amirite @Maximillian_Jenius ). Hell, she still is. And no, I won't post pics.
     
    Maximillian_Jenius likes this.
  13. Maximillian_Jenius

    Maximillian_Jenius Super User

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    Didn't I motorboat her (seriously), or almost motorboat her? If so I was drunk and well... I apologize!
     
  14. dustoff17

    dustoff17 Well-Known Member

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    No need, I found one. The internet is a wonderful tool!
    upload_2017-7-15_6-13-7.png
     
  15. rockman2343@aol.com

    rockman2343@aol.com Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, appreciate it.
     

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