Thumped in the head..

[DitchDriver]

So I have an interesting scenario that apparently really did happen and I'm curious to see what others would do, as I'm pretty certain as to what I'd do..
It's a typical flight in preparation, the door has just closed, flight attendants have made their announcements and a passenger has decided to extend his ever important conversation a little longer when he's promptly thumped in the head by another passenger with a magazine reminding him that he needs to wrap it up.. Buford T. Justice flashes his FAA credentials as if to show the long winded passenger he's been authorized to thump.
Scenario #1- what apparently happened was that the crew was not made aware of this until after the flight was completed and what happened beyond that I don't know..
Scenario #2- let's say however, that before pushback the flight attendant witnesses this display of street justice and calls the captain (YOU) and relays that a passenger has assaulted another for talking on the phone, and oh, by the way the judge and jury is some FAA guy flashing his badge.
So, I'm curious, what would you do?

[Flyboy 4]

My first instict is to in Scenrio #2 is to delay the flight, pull the FAA guy to the front let him know this is my Aircraft, That I am responsible for the safety of all the passengers on this flight. So I want to know Why it happened - is the passenger he struck going to be an issue ie... retaliation, and will there be any more attempts by him to escalate this problem or any more attempts by him to hand out anymore justice "If you have any more issues please address it with my flight crew - DO NOT take it upon your self or I will ask you to Leave My Aircraft, Last but not least separate the two.

[BobDDuck]

Clear out the a cargo bin and thumped and thumper go in or a no holds barred, UFC style steel cage match. Winner stays on, loser buys a ticket on Skybus. Plus, if your airline has IFE you can broadcast the whole thing as pay per view. You resolve the problem, the passengers get some entertainment and there is an empty seat so the really cute non rev/standby gets on. Everybody wins.

[OldTownPilot]

Originally Posted by BobDDuck

......an empty seat so the really cute non rev/standby gets on. Everybody wins.

I have a really cute NRSA getting on story. remind me after a few beers at a M+G/vegas.

[BobDDuck]

Are you old enough to drink this year.... legally?

I NEVER get cute non revs. Also, when I am deadheading I always get stuck next to the 300 pound sweaty nervous flyer guy. We had a rather attractive AWAC FO jumpseat down to SAV one day. Somehow she managed to curl up into a ball on the CRJ jumpseat and fell asleep. I was more impressed with that then anything else.

[OldTownPilot]

Originally Posted by BobDDuck

Are you old enough to drink this year.... legally?

I NEVER get cute non revs. Also, when I am deadheading I always get stuck next to the 300 pound sweaty nervous flyer guy. We had a rather attractive AWAC FO jumpseat down to SAV one day. Somehow she managed to curl up into a ball on the CRJ jumpseat and fell asleep. I was more impressed with that then anything else.

I'll be 22 in less than a month, I look about 17 though. So the consumption is legal. I knew a few High school kids graduating (including my brother). I was asked more than a few times about being a high school kid. If I did college in 4 years I'd be graduating from there this summer.

I've seen more cute Trust Fund Babies in my 2 months at the FBO in BHB than cute Nonrevs in my 2 years at Comair.

[falconvalley]

Originally Posted by DitchDriver

So I have an interesting scenario that apparently really did happen and I'm curious to see what others would do, as I'm pretty certain as to what I'd do..
It's a typical flight in preparation, the door has just closed, flight attendants have made their announcements and a passenger has decided to extend his ever important conversation a little longer when he's promptly thumped in the head by another passenger with a magazine reminding him that he needs to wrap it up.. Buford T. Justice flashes his FAA credentials as if to show the long winded passenger he's been authorized to thump.
Scenario #1- what apparently happened was that the crew was not made aware of this until after the flight was completed and what happened beyond that I don't know..
Scenario #2- let's say however, that before pushback the flight attendant witnesses this display of street justice and calls the captain (YOU) and relays that a passenger has assaulted another for talking on the phone, and oh, by the way the judge and jury is some FAA guy flashing his badge.
So, I'm curious, what would you do?

I would whap them in the head from my seat with the spare hand mic, turn the PA all the way up and yell "Dude!!!" rhetorically into the mic.

...unless they were Chuck Norris...or Seggy...or Doug. In that case, I would would not speak on behalf of the awesomeness.