relationships and aviation: scheduling issues

Ok so here's a scenario for ya. So I just started a charter job, training was a day at a time as far as scheduling goes. . . . "uhhh no training today, I'm on a freight call, lets try tomorrow" . . . . "not today, on a pax flight all day, tomorrow at ten". EVentually after a week, training got started, but never knew what my on-off schedule would be until after I completed my 135 checkride. 2 weeks after I finished training and started the line, I got my schedule. Up to now, I hadn't asked for any significant days off or anything, and my fiance is upset that a day i needed off I've known about for 6 months for a wedding I don't have off because i didnt ask for it off. The day I needed off was 3 weeks after I started. My thoughts were "I've just started and won't know if I can have it off until I'm on the schedule, and even then, I'm the newbie and need to get flying, so I CAN'T ask for it off" Turns out I'm being sent for sim school on that particular day anyway, but she's struggling with why I didn't ask for the time off on the first day.

It's not that I wanted the day off, I just didn't think that I COULD ask for it and get it this close to the day. I mean I could have, but my intuition said I wasn't going to get it off anyway due to training, or need to work to get on the schedule, or to go to sim school.

Anyways, help with getting someone who's been working in retail clothing for 5 years and doesn't comprehend how aviation can work the way it does would be appreciated.

Thanks y'all

I don't want to be a Debby Downer or anything, but if she is having problems already with the schedule, you two need to have a serious heart to heart. I had my first Thanksgiving home last year for the first time since I can remember. I am getting Christmas off for the first time in probably 3 years this year. My wife's birthday will be missed again. She was even with me in Kiev one year ('08) and the only time I flew all month was on the day of her birthday and the day after out of a 30 day rotation.

This career sucks with making birthdays, weddings, funerals, births, and anything else you can think of. Talk to her and see if she is okay with the scheduling gods interfering with her schedule. Good luck no matter what happens. Yes, my schedule is different from most, as I commute 4000+ miles to work and work for a while, but when I am home is when we make up for things I missed. When I am home, I have no other concerns than my family.

No matter what segment you work in the significant other never will understand why you can't just have off when they want you to be. Get used to it

Agreed.....you need to find a balance between giving your work priority, and giving your wife/family the priority. I think your assessment about not asking for the day off was the right move. It sucks, but at the end of the day, the folks still got married, and you still have a job. I've made similar judgement calls, and I normally error on the same side that you did.

Thanks guys,

I was sure I had the right mind set and yes, a heart to heart is in order, that's why I'm currently trying to not burn lasagna and a bottle of red wine is on the table. Thanks for the support and commentary!

Maybe I should steer her in the direction of the Jetgirls.net site?!?!

My dad didn't get to stay home for Christmas until I was 14 (the Western-DAL merger is principally responsible for it being 14, not 7, of course...but that's the gig). And clearly, there's nothing wrong with me...er, yeah, anyway.

By the way, on-demand and corporate can be much harder on the family life than an airline. None of it is fun starting out, but at least at a large carrier (and in a large domicile) you can swap, drop, and do whatever is necessary if you have a day that you simply must have off. Where I used to work, we were so thin and so small that you basically had to get a mountain moved to get one day off. Bigger isn't always better but it seems to be better occasionally.

It sucks with missing all that, BUT it makes you value the time you have with your family and SO (significant other, not second officer) that much more. Trust me. I miss my family terribly, BUT when I get to see them I really take full advantage of it.

This isn't for everyone. My mother is an unbelievably strong and independent woman...in order to raise us three rambunctious youngsters she had to be. But she managed, and Dad's job provided very very well for us. We celebrated when we could. Flexibility.

Well, we had our heart to heart over it and her big heart ache was that I didn't ask soon enough, regardless of what I thought the outcome. If I'd asked for it sooner, the chance of it getting approved was greater the sooner I asked, rather than waiting until training was complete and a week before the day came. Course in my head I'm thinking the difference between 30% chance versus 5% chance of approval wasn't worth it, to her apparently it was. It's a differing of opinion on when the correct time to ask for the time off is and we talked good and hard about this subject. We are square on the same page and I think she is still trying to understand why there doesn't seem to be as much common sense in Aviation as there is in her retail industry. I didn't even try to explain.

Ours not to question why, ours just to fly, fly, fly.

jetgirls.net

FWIW, When I first started on with my company, I told them in the interview I wanted some time off the next month for something I had already scheduled (NJC '10!) And they understood. I know your post is in regards to your fiance, but something to keep in mind if it something that important, let them know when you start and ideally most companies will be accommodating.

glad you had a talk with her and that you're on the same page. it is teh sux but a necessary evil in the profession. I will be happy as a clam if I celebrate one birthday or holiday not in a hotel this year. (And next)

Phooey and other such comments.

Quite so.

As noted by Scooter, there's often some flexibility if you report any conflicts during your interview. But, yeah, after that it's tough. It is a work-life balance thing, though. On the one hand, you can miss important days and sometimes significant chunks of time but, on the other, you can get large blocks of time off where you can focus completely on your friends and family. I only come home from work tired and grumpy once every two weeks.

Also, AB, I'm not sure where you used to work, but I've never had any trouble getting a day off :bandit: