girlfriend issues

Thanks for all of the input/advice... some of it I agree with, some of it I don't. That's good though, kept me thinking. After talking with some mutual friends... Kristie's response sounds like the closest to being accurate. I'm not trying to smother her, I've been doing what she's been asking of me. I won't call/text and see what happens. We do have dinner set up in a couple weeks-- meet up and see what happens. She wanted that. I do hope it works out, but if not... life goes on. I'm not on a quest for a new woman at the moment... if this doesn't work, I think I'll take some time off.

:yeahthat:

I don't think anyone can say (nor should they say) with any certainty that she's seeing someone else.

It does, though, sound like she's tried to break up a few times, and that you've tried and tried to get her back. It's hard to say "no" to someone who tries that hard and who won't take no for an answer.

I agree with rjmore - just let it be, let her go, and move on.

Not to "pile on," but I have to agree with the majority of my fellow-JC'ers. You sound like a nice guy who has a good head on his shoulders and she's probably trying not to hurt you. Whether she's seeing someone new or not, it doesn't sound like she's as much into the relationship as you are. I know it hurts like hell (believe me, most of us have been there--some more times than others) and it always works out for the best. You need to find someone who makes you happy and who you make happy. It's very difficult to be in a meaningful relationship where you're always wondering "what if..."
I wish you nothing but the best. You sound like you deserve it.

Why, thank you dear!

Now why don't you check your PM's from yesterday.:buck:

Read the posts here and didn't add anything because you were getting great advice. The only thing to comment on is the line I hilighted above. You don't have to "buy" or make a really long term commitment with everyone. Sample the wares a little - live and be happy. Don't close yourself off to any women - just take things for what they are and have fun.

Keep in mind what the New Orleans Journal of Medicine has recently reported: Binge Drinking and Promiscuous Sex are Good for You.

You know at times like this, It really does not hurt to......


COME ( ERR I MEAN GO) TO JAMAICA, AND FEEL ALRIGHT!!:nana2:

and if you are lucky you might get your groove back!!!!

Uh, Oh! Cougar on the prowl, watch out, they like to play with their prey

Before pouncing

She probably found someone else.....and probably isn't worth all the headaches.

I just want to give my advice on this. You are in a tough spot, especially after investing so many years of your life into this one woman and now she is having second thoughts about the two of you. Tough man. In my opinion and experiences, when woman says she needs a "break" it means the following things..

1. She is losing her attraction for you.

2. You're not the man she once fell in "love" with.

3. She is probably seeing someone else.

4. There is a 95% chance the relationship will be over.

You, my friend, are doing all the wrong things by TRYING to CONVINCE her to stay with you. Come on dude, you cannot make or convince someone to be with you. It makes you look as if she is the only thing in your life and you have nothing else going for you. A woman often finds it attractive when a man has more to his life than just her, trust me on this. I honestly don't think that the distance has anything to do with it. My guess is during the period of time she most likely started seeing someone else while at the sametime the two of you were having difficulties in the relationship. Her making excuses not to come because of school work is all an act and the more she pushes you off, the more you try to win her back. Keep away from her for now, let her know you have other important activities in your life besides proving your love to her..lol. Ignore her for a while and when you guys do talk, dont forget to mention that you are having fun and there are lots of girls out there who you are hanging out with. Just make sure it is true!! Goodluck!

Pilots hate women? News to me! :cwm27:

Hey now, i don't hate women. I think they are the best thing after slice bread.

Uh...sometimes...better yet i'd say most of the time. Certainly not ALL THE TIME. I'm sure they feel the same about us...

Heh. Reading this thread reminded me of being in a somewhat similar situation a little over a year ago. It was the first time I'd been really wrapped in a girl in a long time - up until then, I'd been pretty apathetic about relationships or "feelings". At the time, many of my friends had said "dude, let it go. Bad relationship." But after saying this once or twice with me not heeding them, they just shut up and didn't say anything. Other friends didn't say anything at all as to not rock the boat. It took a few months for me to get over it, but once I did - I found my old self again.

I pretty much agree with all those who posted here. I'm adding my .02 to give everyone who responded props for supporting you. That support system (from people who generally don't know you and aren't afraid to really say what they mean, but care) is huge!

Keep your head high bro!!

To paraphrase Bonnie Raitt:

You can't make someone love you if they don't.

True Story

Like most other people have posted, been there too. Some years ago the girlfriend wanted the dreaded "break" (my heart is now racing and my stomach is in my throat). I got mad, got drunk and I mean really drunk. I thought for sure she had been getting "friendly" with someone else. Long story short, I cut off all contact, moved on and poured myself into flying or learning every second I could. Also made a few "friends" along the way, good experiences! So five years go by and I run into her in an airport standing about a foot away. We started talking and she revealed that there had not been anyone else and she had f#$%$ up really bad. Started seeing each other again four years ago and are about to get engaged. Moral of the story: move on, if it is right, it will find you. Absurd amounts partying and meeting other women is highly recommended.

Re: True Story

The formula is the same for women and children. Give them their freedom and if they come back, its all good.

Yeah, no kidding. No matter how many times women leave me hanging (regardless of fault) I still adore them.

As Heinlein said,

"What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it."