Sneak Peak at the new Delta Pilot Application

[BobDDuck]

Application for employment at Delta

1. Number of landings on a taxiway? _________

2. Longest period of missing all radio calls? (91 minutes is minimum to be competitive) ________

3. Degree of senility? (severe or better prefered). _________

4. Ditching experience _________________

5. Average blood alcohol when reporting to work in a foreign country? ___________

Essay: Each of the above is important to us, but pretend if you will that you're testifying before congress tomorrow. Explain how your actions in all of the above are the result of the Regionals.

[MikeD]

LOL. Funny!

[Boris Badenov]

I'm a shoe-in! Doug, put my app to the front! You know I fit!

[rausda27]

I think a new version will be coming out soon to include a question about how many airport personnel you have tried to run over with your DC-3..

[surreal1221]

Originally Posted by rausda27

I think a new version will be coming out soon to include a question about how many airport personnel you have tried to run over with your DC-3..

Except this time, it'll go beyond just trying. . .

You will have to indicate how many airport personnel you have successfully ran over with your DC-3.

No failures for Delta.

[Polar742]

Application for employment at Delta

1. Number of landings on a taxiway? 0, but with the proper training I can learn the proper technique.

2. Longest period of missing all radio calls? (91 minutes is minimum to be competitive) Not quite sure, but it was a long route, with the FAA in the jumpseat headed to DCA. FAA observer reported he didn't hear any "frequency changes" either. However, the we found the appropriate frequency prior to TOD and made a normal descent and landing. Again, I'm willing to learn the proper techniques.

3. Degree of senility? (severe or better prefered). Does apathy count as well?

4. Ditching experience Airplanes - none. Members of opposite sex ditching me in my single days - high frequency

5. Average blood alcohol when reporting to work in a foreign country? Adequate

Essay: Each of the above is important to us, but pretend if you will that you're testifying before congress tomorrow. Explain how your actions in all of the above are the result of the Regionals.

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, and in the spirit of finger pointing, I submit the following. Regional pilots, who have draconian work rules and live hand to mouth are completely and irrefutably responsible for the denigration of my career expectations and earning potential due to them bending to the laws of capitalism. Further, they contributed directly to the meteoric rise and fall of pilot mill schools, which as far as we know may teach extreme religious beliefs or liberal political views. Both of which have been shown to affect each of the above issues via various methods. Either driving their contracting company to bankruptcy, and due to my poor financial planning, have caused me personal hardship; thus contributing to abnormal levels of stress causing me to have the above results. Finally, if called, I promise not to rock in the chair.

[Rocketman99]

Originally Posted by Polar742

Application for employment at Delta

1. Number of landings on a taxiway? 0, but with the proper training I can learn the proper technique.

2. Longest period of missing all radio calls? (91 minutes is minimum to be competitive) Not quite sure, but it was a long route, with the FAA in the jumpseat headed to DCA. FAA observer reported he didn't hear any "frequency changes" either. However, the we found the appropriate frequency prior to TOD and made a normal descent and landing. Again, I'm willing to learn the proper techniques.

3. Degree of senility? (severe or better prefered). Does apathy count as well?

4. Ditching experience Airplanes - none. Members of opposite sex ditching me in my single days - high frequency

5. Average blood alcohol when reporting to work in a foreign country? Adequate

Essay: Each of the above is important to us, but pretend if you will that you're testifying before congress tomorrow. Explain how your actions in all of the above are the result of the Regionals.

In spite of all evidence to the contrary, and in the spirit of finger pointing, I submit the following. Regional pilots, who have draconian work rules and live hand to mouth are completely and irrefutably responsible for the denigration of my career expectations and earning potential due to them bending to the laws of capitalism. Further, they contributed directly to the meteoric rise and fall of pilot mill schools, which as far as we know may teach extreme religious beliefs or liberal political views. Both of which have been shown to affect each of the above issues via various methods. Either driving their contracting company to bankruptcy, and due to my poor financial planning, have caused me personal hardship; thus contributing to abnormal levels of stress causing me to have the above results. Finally, if called, I promise not to rock in the chair.

Bravo!

[ross9238]

Originally Posted by Polar742

Finally, if called, I promise not to rock in the chair.

Awesome...

[Doug Taylor]

And it should be:
#6: "Is Lee Moak the best union leader ever, or the best union leader in modern times and would you vote in the affirmative for whatever he puts out?"

[fo4ever]

You forgot the Preferred pilot union line!

ALPA or Teamsters

[ComplexHiAv8r]

Only submit via web access in a cockpit.