TSA screener walks by and says...

[Nick]

This was on my most recent trip.

I was standing next to a few passengers who were going to be on the flight I was working. I was reading something as we were all awaiting the departure of the flight at our gate so that we could board next.

Next to the gate, a set of doors opened and about a dozen TSA screeners came out of what appeared to be a meeting in a room back there. They were all heading back towards the direction of the security checkpoint, which in this airport, is real close to the gates.

I figured they'd had lunch break back there or something.

As two of them are walking by a few passengers and I, one of them says to the other, loud enough for us to hear:

"I missed so many knives on that one!"

The passenger next to me said "great" quietly to himself and shook his head.

I was sad to be standing there.

They were at the checkpoint a minute later, back to work...

[kellwolf]

And the scary thing is, they missed all those.....and were sent back to work. Now, what if we got done with re-current and said "Wow. I crashed so many times in the sim!" Odds are they sure as heck wouldn't send us back to the line without some re-training.

On a somewhat related note, my wife applied to TSA when she was desperate and unemployed in Orlando. She took the little screening test part of the interview process where they flash stuff up for X seconds and you have to id something. The two psuedo-stoners behind her kept mumbling about how hard it was while she breezed through it. Guess who made it through to the next round and who didn't?

[invertmast]

and thats our hard earned tax dollars at work to give everyone a false sense of security... Granted their are those that do a great job.. but i wonder how those who just suck at it and dont care are able to keep theirs.

[PCL_128]

I was jumpseating in plain clothes last week and had left my liquids in my overnight bag, since ATL security usually doesn't care. This time, the Toothpaste Stealing A-hole decided that since I wasn't in uniform, the liquids would have to go. Anyway, he searches my bag and removes a can of shaving cream. After his "thorough" search, he failed to even find the tube of toothpaste, the stick of gel deodorant, and the bottle of liquid allergy medicine. I guess 1 out of 4 ain't too bad.

[SeanD]

They fail the drills all the time. I think they are below 20% at most airports when it comes to accuracy. Its a joke. They are there to watch the clock and collect their paychecks every other Friday.
I have seen very few that take the job seriously. I have news for them. Tuesday, September 11th 2001 started off as a normal day. What could possibly go wrong?

[kellwolf]

Sounds to me like he was low on shaving cream at home and didn't wanna hit Wal-Mart.

[PCL_128]

Originally Posted by kellwolf

Sounds to me like he was low on shaving cream at home and didn't wanna hit Wal-Mart.

Probably true.

[Polar742]

I have known of guys that have been stopped in plain clothes. They asked to be escorted out, put on their wrinkled shirts, and were allowed to go through. Dumb....just leave us alone.

[Clocks]

Originally Posted by SeanD

They fail the drills all the time. I think they are below 20% at most airports when it comes to accuracy. Its a joke. They are there to watch the clock and collect their paychecks every other Friday.
I have seen very few that take the job seriously. I have news for them. Tuesday, September 11th 2001 started off as a normal day. What could possibly go wrong?

The only reason air travel is safe is that the odds are the bomb will be on someone else's airplane.

[Swen]

While weaving with the other cattle prior to the Tub Stacking Agency Checkpoint, a guy I know remembered that he forgot his greater than 3 ounces of a liquid (gel?) in his carry on. This forbidden item was sun tan lotion.

So the guy decides to put it in his back pocket of his pants and untuck his shirt so that it fully covers it up. He then proceeds uneventfully through the checkpoint.

True story.

[sdfcvoh]

Holy cow, am I the only one thats gonna post the fact that most of them make more than the regional FO's......

[tonyw]

Yeah, they make something like $15 and change with benefits around the DC area.

We need to get rid of the charade, but the once or twice a year Aunt Bessies will get all bent out of shape.

It's a crappy job. Imagine staring at x-rays for eight hours a day, five days a week. I'd go insane.

Maybe that's why we have the people there who are doing it. They're all that's left after the ones with any brainpower whatsoever go insane.

[JaceTheAce]

One time I commuted home from JFK to SAN in plain clothes (way more comfortable than the sandpaper polyester/wool pants) and they wanted to take my $12 Lab Series shaving cream, Aveda shampoo and conditioner ($9 and $12 respectively) and toothpaste. I was like "oh heyell no!!!" so I went and changed into my uniform and went right through without a problem, even though I was in the jetBlue-only terminal my badge was the Piedmont badge...obviously not flying a jetBlue airplane! *DUH* (stupid TSA).

[Mike Lewis]

Google "Security Theater". Only then can you understand the real role of the TSA.

[PCL_128]

Originally Posted by JaceTheAce

and they wanted to take my $12 Lab Series shaving cream, Aveda shampoo and conditioner ($9 and $12 respectively

Dude, you are so gay.

[Doug Taylor]

Uhh... Ummm... oh, nevermind!

[JaceTheAce]

Originally Posted by PCL_128

Dude, you are so gay.

hahahaha

I'd flip out if I had to use inferior productsssssssssss (insert gay lisp sound).

[BillH]

Last time I was at the airport, the TSA guy said to me, "Dude, do you realize you were standing behind John Kerry in the security line?"
I thought that guy looked a lot like him...

[kmiller]

First let me start off by saying that as being a screener at JFK, I don't entirely agree on all the rules and regulations that TSA has set forth. In regards to the liquid stuff, and you not being in uniform its a sticky situation. We have been briefed time to time again that only crew members in uniform are allowed through the checkpoint w/ their liquids and gels. The worst I saw was a flight attendant coming through the checkpoint to clock in, and she lost her liquids and gels; she was able to get it back from the sup. when she was leaving. She had everything with her, but she wasn't in uniform yet; she changed when she clocked in because the flight was leaving from another terminal. Again nothing with TSA makes sense to me anymore.

[PCL_128]

Originally Posted by kmiller

We have been briefed time to time again that only crew members in uniform are allowed through the checkpoint w/ their liquids and gels.

Use a little common sense and look the other way. Once I get past your checkpoint I can sit on any jumpseat, plain clothes or not, and crash the airplane without needing any fancy explosive shampoo to make it happen. Just let the crewmembers go by with their liquids.

Now I'm sure the Shrub secret police will be busting down my door any minute since I used the terms "crash the plane" and "explosive shampoo" on the internets. It was nice knowing all of you.

[JEP]

Originally Posted by PCL_128

Use a little common sense and look the other way. Once I get past your checkpoint I can sit on any jumpseat, plain clothes or not, and crash the airplane without needing any fancy explosive shampoo to make it happen. Just let the crewmembers go by with their liquids.

......

Come on now...Don't hate the player, Hate the game.

Are the rules stupid? Sure. But....if the TSA people are as bad as people think, do we really want them deciding which rules they can enforce?

My TSA story.....

Last year leaving Minny headed to EWR, I had a couple of rolls of quarters in my carry on bag (needed for tolls headed out to Long Island). I walked through no problems, but my bag had stopped and they were sliding it back and forth through the xray. I could see the xray and it looked like a pipe. I just told them, "Oh yeah you're probably looking at my rolls of quarters". They jsut shrugged their shoulders, said "OK" and let me take my bag. They did not even bother to look inside. Hmmmm?

[kmiller]

Originally Posted by PCL_128

Use a little common sense and look the other way. Once I get past your checkpoint I can sit on any jumpseat, plain clothes or not, and crash the airplane without needing any fancy explosive shampoo to make it happen. Just let the crewmembers go by with their liquids.

Trust me when I say that I know what you mean. I am such a strong believer in that TSA rules makes no sense at all. I've seen plenty of times when crew members come in out of uniform and are flying; they just change when they get through. Maybe it's just me, but I tend to notice my environment. I pay attention to the pilots and flight attendants schedules, so if you're coming through with liquids I'm not going to take it....I have common sense.

[sdfcvoh]

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help"

'nuff said ...

[PCL_128]

Originally Posted by kmiller

Trust me when I say that I know what you mean. I am such a strong believer in that TSA rules makes no sense at all. I've seen plenty of times when crew members come in out of uniform and are flying; they just change when they get through. Maybe it's just me, but I tend to notice my environment. I pay attention to the pilots and flight attendants schedules, so if you're coming through with liquids I'm not going to take it....I have common sense.

Good man.

[UND_Flyer]

Homeless Man Thwarts STL Security, Found Napping On Plane

Incident Termed A 'Hiccup' By Officials
Two contract security guards at Lambert International Airport in St. Louis, MO were suspended this week, after a homeless man was found sleeping onboard a parked regional jet.

KTVI-2 reports the man was able to slip past the two Whalen Security officers Wednesday morning, as they inspected a vehicle at a perimeter checkpoint. The 58-year-old homeless man was later found sleeping onboard a Trans States Airlines CRJ.

Local police called the incident a "hiccup" in airport security, according to KMOV-4. But airline analyst Mel Burkart said that doesn't begin to describe it.

"Obviously it was a thoughtless breach of security," said Burkart. "The potential is there. You know you have an airport like St. Louis that has hundreds of acres of ground and it has a fence up all the way around it but it's not monitored and it's not under total security vigilance day and night."

Airline employees found the man. TSA officials said the incident made clear the importance of "layered" security -- where airport, airline, and TSA officials are all watching for signs of something amiss.

"We all recognize that these layers are important because no single layer is 100 percent full proof, 100 percent of the time," said TSA spokewoman Carrie Harmon.