Need a "gotchya back" prank that's safe

[Doug Taylor]

Ok, this can't affect safety in any way, shape or form, cause any injury, scars or get me into an 'actionable' situation.

Here's the deal, this is kind of funny!

When I go back on break, I throw on a sweater, remove my tie and ID and leave it on top of my flight kit.

Fast forward a little. We arrived in JFK, I go back through security to re-enter the pilot lounge and the TSA agent literally GLARES at my ID and then GLARES at me.

I'm naturally a little cranky so when he says that he can't accept my ID, I'm a little snappy with the "why not?" attitude. The supervisor walks over, whispers something to the screener...

I look down at my ID, and the relief pilot had firmly taped a perfectly dimensioned color photo of Hillary Clinton's head, right over mine and it really looked like it was the photo on the ID.

OMG!

I was able to scrape it off, but now it's time for a little payback!

The only idea I have so far is finding out where he's laying over and calling a male escort to his hotel room on his next rotation, but that might be a little extreme. I don't want the poor guy to get beat up by a pimp when he refuses services.

Anyone have any ideas?

[Kingairer]

ask some PSA pilots.

[Doug Taylor]

Nah, don't need to get shot!

[scottyboy75]

If you have the cell number list a cheap car for sale on Craigslist or something. Or place an ad for escort services but make him a woman and all that stuff. His phone won't stop ringing.
Shane

[Chewie von Nubbins]

Originally Posted by scottyboy75

If you have the cell number list a cheap car for sale on Craigslist or something. Or place an ad for escort services but make him a woman and all that stuff. His phone won't stop ringing.
Shane

Note to self....never piss off Scottyboy75. Man, that is evil...and I love it.

[Velocipede]

The extension to that is sign him up for every "free" magazine subscription you can find.

[MQAAord]

If you can find his bag (either kit bag or overnight bag) put a pair of size XL women's underpants in it and attach a note that says "Thinking of You!"

[WacoFan]

Originally Posted by Velocipede

The extension to that is sign him up for every "free" magazine subscription you can find.

As payback I did this once - had a "free" subscription to a magazine called "Verge" sent to his office. "Verge" is a gay publication in Kansas City. Guy was (maybe still is) married.

[killbilly]

Originally Posted by Doug Taylor

Anyone have any ideas?

Sign him up to receive brochures and information about:

1) Any free samples of any feminine products
2) Venereal diseases
3) Gender Reassignment Surgery

Even better if you can have it all sent to him at work.

If you time it right, everything should hit his mailbox all at the same time.

[Doug Taylor]

Nah, none of that can go in a company v-mail file. I mean it could but I don't want to be the guy fired for putting a dildo in someone's company mail.

[Velocipede]

Send the subs to his home address. He'll get the message.

[EDUC8-or]

Originally Posted by Kingairer

ask some PSA pilots.

I'm scared to check my V-file tomorrow!

Do you know where his flight kit is? I saw a guy use an entire roll of shrink wrap on someone's flight kit. I've also seen someone put peanut butter on the FO's yoke, when he went to do his flight control check there was a creamy surprise. I heard a story from back in the day about a guy who took about a bazillion of the little circles that you get from a hole punch and dumped them in someone's rollaboard. I REALLY liked that one.

[KLB]

Get him a free male underwear catalog sent to his company mailbox.

[Doug Taylor]

Originally Posted by EDUC8-or

I'm scared to check my V-file tomorrow!

Do you know where his flight kit is?

He's a local so it's probably in his trunk. I'm not about to break into his car. Wherever employee parking is around here, who knows!

I saw a guy use an entire roll of shrink wrap on someone's flight kit.

See above!

Might work I've also seen someone put peanut butter on the FO's yoke, when he went to do his flight control check there was a creamy surprise.

Ehh, nothing involving safety of flight. I'm all for fun, but if it involves the aircraft or company property I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole.

[GatorFC]

"Coming Out" email/text message to his entire contact list.

If you can ever catch him/distract him away from his computer or "borrow" his cellphone, that is.

[EDUC8-or]

Originally Posted by Doug Taylor

Ehh, nothing involving safety of flight. I'm all for fun, but if it involves the aircraft or company property I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole.

That's why I liked the hole punches in the rollaboard.

[Jason_SYR]

While in law enforcement, we would shoot some pepper spray into the air intake for the heating system of people's cars on a nice cold day. It won't blind you but man it is uncomfortable on the lungs for a little while.

You can also pepper spray any surface that he will have to touch. Say a door handle of a car or a bag. Eventually, everyone touches their face and then let the warm feeling begin.

I am presuming you know which car is his.

[Doug Taylor]

Nah, too brutal! I'm not a blunt force revenge type of guy. I like it cerebral!

Pooping in a guy's flight kit is one thing, but he can get you back BIG TIME by reporting you.

But if you get in someone's head, how does one report, "OMG! He's psychologically bested me! FIRE HIM!"

[ComplexHiAv8r]

When he gets a few days off, get him drunk, return to airport and put him on a flight to LAS. Take his ID and all his money. See how long it takes him to get back!

If you do that to a groom the night before his wedding, his wife wont talk to you for years! You also don't get invited for the wedding the next weekend.

[sdfcvoh]

Anyone in the company that can call him up and request why he's late to report for his duty, while he's still on break?

Of course there's always the paper bag o' poop burning on the doorstep. Otherwise your prerequisites just make it way too hard to do anything fun!

... sounds like he got you pretty good, too

[SeanD]

If you fly with him again wait until he is asleep during his break. Creep up to him and whisper in a frantic sort of way "We just lost hydraulic pressure and engine one is out, we need you up front right away". Be sure to have a camera ready for the look on his face.

[SeatClutcher]

I suck at pranks, so I have no advice for you about how to get him back. i just wanted to say that what he did to you is pretty damn funny.

[GatorFC]

Sneek one of these into his layover hotel room or car :

The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron

Originally Posted by ThinkGeek

The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time 'timing' the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight 'electronic noise' built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are.

[TFaudree_ERAU]

Get Max to stand just outside security and hold a sign that says "Capt. (insert name), will you marry me?" My college roomate did that to one of his friends that they picked up from the airport one night and after standing there for 20 minutes with the sign, a small crowd (meaning a very large one) had formed in anticipation.

[Maximillian_Jenius]

Originally Posted by TFaudree_ERAU

Get Max to stand just outside security and hold a sign that says "Capt. (insert name), will you marry me?"

Psssshhhh, I already do that every other Sunday here in PHX waiting for Chris_Ford!*