Pilot VS. Relationships

[future pilot]

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk). And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

[BTAcola]

Originally Posted by future pilot

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk). And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

There is not RIGHT answer to this question. A real relationship is a LOTS OF WORK, no matter if you spend LOTS of time together or LOTS of time away at work. Trust me... sometimes, the time away is a GREAT THING. =) haha. not talking about cheating just saying.. time away is good! =) Gives you something to look forward to when you come back!

[DPApilot]

Originally Posted by future pilot

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk). And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

what does "whant" mean?

When I flew down to Florida a corporate guy in PFN gave me good advice.

"If you want to be in the airlines, don't get married... See this piece of ass? she's a traveling nurse. I met her in the Bahamas. Isn't that right honey?"

[jtrain609]

How old are you, 16? You should be working on trying desperatly to get laid, not worry about a marriage you may or may not have in another decade!

I mean for reals, good job with thinking ahead, but try not to think TOO far ahead.

[Baronman]

Originally Posted by future pilot

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk). And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

It's funny...everyone has different ways of making a relationship work. Personally I like my space. If I had to be around my wife (hypothetical) 7 days a week I might go crazy. A few nights out on the road sounds nice and probably would help me in the long run.

[Old Dominion Flyer]

Good question. My wedding is in September. Check back in a few years and I'll have a response for ya.

[jtrain609]

Originally Posted by Baronman

It's funny...everyone has different ways of making a relationship work. Personally I like my space. If I had to be around my wife (hypothetical) 7 days a week I might go crazy. A few nights out on the road sounds nice and probably would help me in the long run.

Me and my wife made the airline life work, and we've made being around each other all the time work.

Both situations have their advantages and disadvantages. Like right now, she's back in Michigan for 2 months, and I'll probably see her 6-7 days during the period of time. Fun? Not really, but it's life and we just kind of roll with it.

[OldTownPilot]

It's not being a pilot that makes it a bad relationship, Its the people that make it a bad relationship. Pilot or not it's going to be a bad (or good) relationship.

[future pilot]

Originally Posted by jtrain609

How old are you, 16? You should be working on trying desperatly to get laid, not worry about a marriage you may or may not have in another decade!

I mean for reals, good job with thinking ahead, but try not to think TOO far ahead.

I know i might be thinking a little to far ahead. I guess what i am trying to ask is... On average how many days a week do you spend at home? I know im thinking pretty far ahead. Im usually not like this. LOL

[mikecweb]

Originally Posted by jtrain609

Me and my wife made the airline life work, and we've made being around each other all the time work.

Yeah because we never heard you complain about not getting any while you were at express sitting on reserve....

[PGT]

It's not just time away from home.

You have to worry about the uncertainty, low pay, and crazy work hours.

[jtrain609]

Originally Posted by mikecweb

Yeah because we never heard you complain about not getting any while you were at express sitting on reserve....

Easily the worst part about sitting reserve on the other end of the continent. The worst was when I ended up with 5 days on and 2 off, then got extended so I had one day off, and then another 6 on. That meant not getting laid for 2+ weeks.

[jtrain609]

Originally Posted by future pilot

I know i might be thinking a little to far ahead. I guess what i am trying to ask is... On average how many days a week do you spend at home? I know im thinking pretty far ahead. Im usually not like this. LOL

I spent a pretty considerable amount of time when I was home 36 hours a week on average.

[SpiraMirabilis]

Our line values are so low that if it werent for sitting 15minute callout I'd like reserve.

[jtrain609]

15 MINUTE CALL OUT!? Seriously?

[SpiraMirabilis]

Well, ready/airport reserve. We have ready reserve (assigned in reverse seniority order) and short call (1.5hr), and long call (12-24hr). Except you have to reduce your guarantee to get long call, and not always get it.

[Maximillian_Jenius]

Originally Posted by future pilot

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot.

Lol, but do want to desperately learn to spell?

extreme

[future pilot]

Originally Posted by Maximillian_Jenius

Lol, but do want to desperately learn to spell?

extreme

Hahaha It's been a long weekend give me a break LOL

[killbilly]

I cannot speak for the others on this website, but I will say that in my experience, a marriage that fails would have failed regardless of whether or not either or both of the spouses are pilots.

Couples that commit and partner and work together on things often succeed. The ones who don't, don't.

[Cessna414JJB]

Originally Posted by future pilot

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk). And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

Here's the deal "future pilot":

I have a good handful of experience with screwed up relationships, but not the energy left to type it all out. All I can tell you is that there are a lot of ways to make each other unhappy. Being miserable because the jobhunt does not work out leaves a skidmark on your relationship.
It's imperative for your SO or spouse to know what is on your plate.
In the end, when your medical is denied - or your career stops because of an accident, incident or violation, you may want to come home to someone who can tell you something different from "I told ya!"

I may type more on this subject if you care - but don't fret it. If you are young enough to experience the downfalls of this industry before it is "time" to have kids and focus on family, you are golden. It hurts a lot figuring this out late in life, because it can really mess life up.

It's the same for every job that requires commitment and patience. If I wanted to be working in a factory and be home every night, I would apply in the factory. I still want to be home at night and watch my future children grow up. I'm old, so I stay away from the section of the industry that has the highest potential for screwing my life up. 60 years from now, nobody will remember what sort of a pilot I was. People will judge me based on what I did and "who" I was to the people loving me. Maybe my Grandson or Daughter remembers me for having taught him/her how to fly - but thats about how far you can reach, flyingwise. Yeah I could strap myself to a Pitts and cross the Pacific inverted or constantly rolling... but that gets boring after 21 hours and when running out of fuel... Sounds terribly shallow, I know - but thats just about how it feels when you loose friends, wife, hubby or SO's for a thrill that exists in YOUR head only, or maybe on pictures or in a video, once the wheels are back on the ground.
Being a Dad, Mom, or Grandpa flies way higher, if you ask pilots with kids.
Suddenly it sucks to go flying. I have had a good career, made a bunch of money and now I'm flying. But after 20 years, flying will not again get position # 1 on my priority list. Do I regret anything? NOPE!
But I don't have to regret what I did to not do it again. Best mixture is a flying couple pushing each other along the way. Nonflyers put up with us, but they may never truly understand our heart and desire. Don't change each other, don't seek fault in your partner. Sweep in front of your own doorstep first and you'll be fine 85% of the time. That holds true of nonflying couples first. Aviation does not literally destroy relationships. It's us letting it happen.

[milleR]

As a far more experienced aviator once told me; you get married once for love, twice for sex, and three times for companionship.

[freeflyer]

Originally Posted by future pilot

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk). And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

Dude this is so simple. Don't get married! Ever!

[3green]

Being a Dad, Mom, or Grandpa flies way higher, if you ask pilots with kids. Suddenly it sucks to go flying. I have had a good career, made a bunch of money and now I'm flying. But after 20 years, flying will not again get position # 1 on my priority list. Do I regret anything? NOPE!

very well said. Strange how flying is #1 for most people until they are doing it professionally. Then it slips down to the #2-3 spot. After family and time off.

[MQAAord]

Originally Posted by OldTownPilot

It's not being a pilot that makes it a bad relationship, Its the people that make it a bad relationship. Pilot or not it's going to be a bad (or good) relationship.

Originally Posted by killbilly

I cannot speak for the others on this website, but I will say that in my experience, a marriage that fails would have failed regardless of whether or not either or both of the spouses are pilots.

Couples that commit and partner and work together on things often succeed. The ones who don't, don't.

Very well said


Don't marry someone who is co-dependent & clingy and wants "her man" home everynight.

Lots of jobs have whacked schedules and/or require a lot of travel. The guy who used to live across the street from us was in regional sales, and he was gone just as much as Bill is. (Including overnights, he was on the road 2-5 days/nights every week.) Pilots do not have sole rights to claim they have screwy schedules! Marriage is about the people involved, not a job someone does.

[Firebird2XC]

I read once that love is great and you can have it however you want it- with or without marriage. Unless you're planning on having children, there's no point to getting married, really. That's really the whole point of that- get married, raise healthy babies, and try to keep each other company in the process.

Otherwise, what's the rush?

... and forget this draconian Dark Ages "breadwinner" crap. You both have jobs, you split your expenses or whatever arrangement works for you. When you part your separate ways, you liquidate whatever joint assets you've got, split that, then you're both on your own.

I think the term that secures this is 'pre-nup'.

Romantic, crazy notions about love lasting forever are just bunk. Prepare your lives so you don't have to worry about an out and you're set.

Oh- seems like some folks I've known got married to "get their hooks" into the other person. Um, what? Now when the love dies, you're just that much more entangled with the person who wishes he or she were elsewhere. Don't do that.