Funny things your kids do.

[fly22]

What funny things have your kids done that make you laugh? I would enjoy hearing some of your stories. Please share.


Having a daughter who will be 2 years of age this summer we are starting to have lots of fun with her. Her personality etc is starting to really show.

Well we are in the potty training stages of life. Asher (my wife) comes down stairs and smells poo. Our little girl is known for hiding her stuff and creating stashes, from binkis to bottles. Well Asher can't find her turd so she starts looking and notices some poo on Taylor's hand. Asher still can't find it and has to revert to the ole nose. So she starts snooping/sniffing around. We had bought are little girl her own Barbie couch that folds out to a little bed that she just loves to sit in. Come to find out our girl hid her poo in the couch and then folded it back up so you couldn't see it and then sat on the couch so Asher wouldn't look there. The whole time Asher is looking my girl was sitting on her couch with a big old smile acting all innocent.

I just had to laugh.

[JEP]

A conversation at a red light with my oldest...He was three at the time I think:

him: daddy, honk your horn...
me: it's a red light, we don't honk our horns at a red light.
him: when do you honk?
me: I honk when someone cuts in front of me.

Him: Yeah, you honk 2 times and then say JackAss.

Needless to say that was when I realized I had better watch my tongue.

[Bandit_Driver]

My 3 year old daughter love to talk while driving and tells me to be careful. I am stopped at a red light and she yells out go, go! It was funny as I almost started to go.

I was talking to my wife the other night and she said that she came out the bed room after getting something & our littlest one was trying to open another door. Being startled by my wife she took off running down the hall (the best a 1 year old can run) yelling UH OH, UH OH, UH OH...

We have been trying to teach our youngest not to play with the doors on the entertainment center. Once day she open the door again to the entertainment center and my wife sternly says her name and she slams the door shut as she turns around looking all innocent.

Kids are great when they are this little. The simplest things make them laugh hysterically and their goofiness gives great laughs to the parents.

[kellwolf]

My 4 year old seems to be an endless stream of entertainment. A couple of months ago, while asleep, he sat bolt up right, yelled "My birthday's coming!" then collapsed back into a snoring heap. My wife took him to the skate park yesterday (he got a board for his birthday), and he had a blast learning to ride. Mostly, he was just sitting on the board and riding down some ramps. When he was standing, my wife would hold his hands. He fell off once and skinned his elbow. He got up and started pointing at the bowls and half pipes saying "I wanna do THAT!" When I got home and asked him how it went he said, "It was fun. When I fell down it wasn't funny, though." For some reason, this struck my wife and I as hysterical. His response "Mommy. Daddy, you stop laughing." I asked him for a hug last night at bed time, and his response was "I don't have any hugs. I'm empty."

[NotCoolEnufToFly]

No funny stories here yet... but I'm sure I'll be joining in on these conversations soon!

[MusketeerMan]

I could probably give a laundry list of things what my 3 year old boy says/does...

*calls all counters (kitchen, bathroom) calendars
*calls frisbees rice krispies
*wakes up from every nap, comes out and says "good morning sleepy 'tato"...we use to say good morning sleepy potato..
*calls me and leaves me voice mails when he goes on the potty
*wraps up "presents" all the time and gives them to us...whether it's a remote control, a used crayon, a shoe...he's a giver and it brings him so much joy to watch us open them.

I could be here all day...

[pullup]

Originally Posted by MusketeerMan

I
*calls all counters (kitchen, bathroom) calendars
*calls frisbees rice krispies
*wakes up from every nap, comes out and says "good morning sleepy 'tato"...we use to say good morning sleepy potato..
*calls me and leaves me voice mails when he goes on the potty
*wraps up "presents" all the time and gives them to us...whether it's a remote control, a used crayon, a shoe...he's a giver and it brings him so much joy to watch us open them.

I could be here all day...

WHAT!!!!??? Your 3 yr old takes a nap!? I am sooooooooo jealous Getting mine to take one is like trying to bathe a cat. No-go!

[Qgar]

...and then they turn into teenagers!

Moral of the story--enjoy 'em now because before you know it, YOU'LL be entertaining THEM with "funny/stupid things YOU do and say."

Can I get an amen from those of you who've gone before me?

[JayAre]

Um my son got down to his undies for Emily and John when we had them over for dinner.

He also yelled "I'm bored" in church got up and walked out.

And he is now saying all those naughty words I told him not to say but say myself when nobody is around or so I thought.

[kellwolf]

Originally Posted by pullup

WHAT!!!!??? Your 3 yr old takes a nap!? I am sooooooooo jealous Getting mine to take one is like trying to bathe a cat. No-go!

Yeah, we're in the same boat over here. Saturdays and Sundays are like a negotiating session for world peace to get a nap in. However, he drops right off Mon-Fri at day care.

We got him a skateboard for his b-day, and I got one, too, to go skating with him. We were at one of his friends from day care's b-day part at a roller skating place, and I said "I'm not getting on skates. I'll break my neck." Fast forward a few months, and I get on the skate board. He starts screaming "NO! NO! Daddy! You can't do that! You'll break your neck!"

[pedro]

Last night my 2.5 year old son was talking to my uncle. I asked if I could have the phone back and he says:

No no dad, 5 more minutes please. close the door and be quite, im on the foam.

then he proceeds to act like his mother.

[H46Bubba]

I took my 3 year old to the airplane watching spot at CVG. So we're watching the planes and as each one taking off, he's yelling "It's running fast daddy..really fast!" Of course he had a hissy fit when it was time to go. He cried "I want to go on the airplane" the entire way home. So to get him to stop crying his mother says he can go on the airplane tomorrow and he stops. So this morning he comes running into our bedroom and jumps on the bed. I asked him "what are you doing?" He said " I want to go in the truck" I said "why do you want to go in the truck?" He said "to go to the airport and get on the plane!" He should be okay till next week since I told him to wait till next week! Hopefully he'll forget! At least I know I have one future pilot in the family.

[400A]

My lil guy is five and loves Futurama, right up until he told mom to "get bent"

Mom came out of the bathroom in a towel and walked past his room while he was getting dressed, without missing a beat he whistles at her

He got in trouble at day care for "dropping elbows" on the other kids (dad can no longer have WWF hour)

He tattles on daddy for driving too fast

He complains about mommy driving too slow

He snores, LOUDLY

He has a wife AND a girlfriend at school

[kellwolf]

Originally Posted by 400A

He has a wife AND a girlfriend at school

We were talking about going to "Mickey's House (aka Disney World)" later this year. He informed us that his girlfriend from school was coming, too. When we picked him up that day from day care, not only did she say "I'm coming with you," they had matching Batman rings.

[WMostellar]

We got Dish TV when my oldest (Will) was about 8. Needless to say I locked the shows with inappropriate ratings for our children.

Our 6 year old was asking Will about the ratings: V - violence, L - language, etc. When he asked about SC, Will said without pause "That stands for scary." I chuckled and thought - that's about right.

[fly22]

Originally Posted by JayAre

He also yelled "I'm bored" in church got up and walked out.

Thats awesome.

[Blackhawk]

1. Daughter is about 2. We decide to do what most parents do who go to church- we give her some money to put in the collection plate (2 quarters). Well, we forgot to brief her ahead of time. The collection plate comes around and my wife tells our daughter to put the money in the plate. Out daughter shakes her head "no". My wife tells my daughter again to put the money in the collection plate- she needs to give it to the church. Our daughter screams at the top of her lungs, "It's my money and the church can't have it!!"
2. Same daughter, maybe 3. We are at a birthday party at a very nice house. I look out the window, and there is my daughter with her dress lifted up squatting and peeing on the front lawn. My wife just about spits her drink out and tells me, "Go talk to your daughter." I go running out there yelling at her to stop. My daughter is all POed at me for stopping her- wants to know what the big deal is as the boys are peeing in the bushes, why can't she pee on the lawn. I have to explain to her that it's different... but that does not sit well.
3. Same daughter, now about 9. We are at a party and she asks if she can have some lemonade slushy. I go ahead and pour her some. A few minutes later I'm with my wife and she asks for more margarita. I ask her where it is, and she points to the same "lemonade slushy" that I just gave my daughter. Just then my daughter comes up and says, "Daddy, this lemonade tastes funny." My wife just about killed me.
4. SAME daughter, now about 12. I'm driving her to soccer practice, trying to converse with her but it's like talking to a brick wall. Finally in frustration I ask her, "What happened to that sweet little daddy's girl who always wanted to talk to me." She keeps looking out her window and responds, "She's not in right now try calling back later."

[Michael95U]

Originally Posted by kellwolf

I asked him for a hug last night at bed time, and his response was "I don't have any hugs. I'm empty."

What is the deal with these kids? My 3 year old son says the same damn thing. I have convinced him that if I give him a hug, his hugs are refilled for the day, and he can hug me back.

[pullup]

My 3 yr old daughter has now started saying that she doesn't know how to go to sleep when I put her to bed. Lol, kids!

[Bandit_Driver]

I was disciplining our oldest, who is 3 1/2, by putting her in timeout and our youngest (1) is mimicking me. I walk away and she's walking right behind like my side kick. I had to go back and put the oldest back in timeout and again the little one follows and copies me again. It was so hard for my wife and I not to laugh.

[adreamer]

The story I have so far:

My wife went to take shower upstairs. Once she came out her bathroom, there were no noise, sounds of little people's talkings or footsteps from my triplets. My wife got curious and came down to investigate. She found my triplets(about 2 years old then) push a chair right beisde kitchen counter, climbed up, grabbed a can of Pringles' potato chips and hide in the corner of kitchen eating those chips. They were big grins on all of their faces. Wife got a pictures for the record.

[newty]

We live in a house built by my wifes great great grandfather in 1892, her grandmother used to live here when my wife was little and she would always tell my sisterinlaw that she would come back and haunt her if she wasn't good, so one night my sis inlaw is sleeping over while I was gone and they were talking about grandma coming back to haunt them and boom the window slams shut. I tell you this house is haunted to preface the following conversation with my 3 year old son Max last week as I was upstairs in a barely lit room with the hall light burned out. In his most matter of fact tone and in an eery impersonation of the little girl from poltergeist max says:

"Daaaaaad, Dheres Dhosts"
Me: what?
Max: Dheres Dhosts.
Me: Theres Ghosts?
Max: Yep, Dheres Dhosts.
Me: Where are the ghosts right now?
Max: Uhm, dhere ouside.
Me: OOOOOK let's go downstairs and climb in bed with mommy

[t-cart]

We moved into a different house last summer and one of the toilets was weak. I had the guy put in a pressure toilet and it sounds like an airport toilet when you flush it.

My daughter, who is seven, didn't like using it because it flushes a lot louder than our previous one. I then messed up and told her that the new one had so much suction that if she didn't hold on, it would suck her down the drain. She took me to heart, now she leaves her business in there for me to deal with. I really think she has just spun the joke around on me and I'm the one getting flushed. Be careful what you tell your kids.

[Bandit_Driver]

Originally Posted by t-cart

We moved into a different house last summer and one of the toilets was weak. I had the guy put in a pressure toilet and it sounds like an airport toilet when you flush it.

My daughter, who is seven, didn't like using it because it flushes a lot louder than our previous one. I then messed up and told her that the new one had so much suction that if she didn't hold on, it would suck her down the drain. She took me to heart, now she leaves her business in there for me to deal with. I really think she has just spun the joke around on me and I'm the one getting flushed. Be careful what you tell your kids.

LOL, my little one is scare of the power flush toilets too.

[Qgar]

My twin girls somehow managed to rip a hole in their crib mattresses. I realized something was wrong when I heard NOTHING on the baby monitor. When I went to investigate, there was foam allll over the place. Fast forward to 2 years down the road. One twin used to get a runny nose out of one nostril, but wasn't sick. The pediatrician was baffled and when I took her to an ENT doctor months later, there it was---a piece of foam rubber lodged all the way up her nose. He pulled it out and put it in a small jar with alcohol. I still have it to this day and show her every once in a while to remind her what a terror she was!

I have another story about "quiet monitor" moments. I went to investigate after a few minutes of silence. Imagine my horror and disgust when I entered their room and they were buck-ass naked and had "decorated" their crib and part of the wall with the contents of their diapers. YIKES!