Family Support

Windchill · November 30th, 2003, 21:09

How many ladies out there are 'standing by their man' or men 'standing by your ladies' while they train for a career they wish to pursue--dream they so much want to chase knowing the economical benefits aren't great in the beginning?

I ask because my fiance, who has to be the absolute greatest (obviously aware others out there believe their own fiance is the greatest, but you know what I mean), has told me after lengthy discussions about what we're going to do after we get married, where we will live, etc. that she wants me to pursue my dream and train to fly.

We know there will be setbacks and struggles, but she wants me to be happy and is 99% supportive (of course there will be some doubt in the back of the mind, a little fear of the unknown) of us going this route opposed to more stable careers that might better support ourselves and children when we have them.

I was wondering how many others are out there in the same dilemna standing by your significant others that maybe my fiance could talk with for some insight and reassurance. I'm trying to convince her to jump on board JetCareers like some of the other 'significant others.'

TheWife · November 30th, 2003, 22:13

Well I am a strong believer that you do what makes you happy, not what is easiest. I support my husband 99%. When I feel very strongly that he is making the wrong decision about something I speak my mind and I do not let up until we have come to an agreement or compromise. We are pretty fortunate and it won't be as much of a struggle for us as it is and has been for others, but there will still be many sacrifices and a lot of patience needed as we will probably end up moving many times, not being together on important occasions, etc. The biggest thing for me that makes it easy to accept, is that I when after he's been away, that when he comes home it will be 100% about me and our family. I know some guys might come home and want to go out with the buddies, go golfing, go to bars, etc. That would not work for me. When he's home, he is home and we are going to be getting the best of all the time we will have together so that the time apart is less painful. I know how important his son is to him as well, and I know he will do everything he can to be there for him in every way possible. I would not be as tolerant if he was the kind of dad to just not want to be bothered by his children, because that would be a huge burden on me. I know some times it's going to be really hard, and I will feel like a single parent. But knowing that he is happy and enjoying his career instead of lugging in to work with "I hate Monday" syndrome, will make it all worth it. Anyway, that was just a bunch of rambling, hope any of it was helpful.

Tell her to sign up, we need some more estrogen around here.

Or better yet, have her sign up on Kristie's site, www.fcapa.org cause that's where the women rule! And we can talk about girl stuff without all the manly nonesense that goes on around here. Lol.

Doug Taylor · November 30th, 2003, 23:26

Before I met Kristie, most girls I ran into saw a broke CFI as a 'bum' and didn't want to have much to do with me, but Kristie really didn't care about my financial situation or financial future.

Even now, she pretty much has no idea what I make before taxes which is kosher.

ready2fly · December 1st, 2003, 09:39

Well, speaking on behalf of my wife - she's behind me 110%.

When we met, I still had no real idea "what I wanted to be when I grow up." Shortly after 9/11 (odd timing, huh?

) I had an epiphany and that was it - I wanted to fly for a living.

Aviation had been my childhood fascination. I lost sight of it for several years, but when it came back, it came back with a vengance.

I think the hardest day of our relationship was the day I went home and told her what I wanted to do. I was SURE it would be greeted with a "Whaaaa?????"

But, to my surprise and GREAT pleasure, she told me "GO FOR IT!!!"

I can pretty much assure you that I would not be doing this if not for her support.

R2F

TheWife · December 1st, 2003, 09:48

Oh sure. Make me feel like crap for only being 99% supportive. Lol No wife of the year award for me then

MQAAord · December 1st, 2003, 10:50

Significant others of pilots MUST understand what is involved in the life of a pilot. The pilot will not always be able to be reached by phone (no answering the cell at FL370!) that means that there will often be 'home fires' to be put out that the SO will have to deal with. Like when the battery back-up on the sump pump fails. Or when the ignition switch on the car burns up and the car is now sitting lifeless & useless in the driveway. The SO must try very hard not to get angry or resentful of the time the pilot spends away, it's a part of the job. The girl my husband dated seriously before me left him because she couldn't deal with him being gone 4 days a week.

Understand junior manning/weather/mechanicals happen, sometimes when a pilot is supposed to coming home, they can't! It's not their fault if their commuter flight cancels, or there's a blizzard, they may not make it home at their original scheduled time.

Also when the pilot returns home, give him/her a little while to decompress. Don't attack him right away with all the things around the house that need to be fixed, errands to do, etc. He's been away for a few days, he needs some time to chill when he gets home from a trip!

TheShortOne · December 1st, 2003, 12:35

as a SO for a guy who is flight training now, I'm behind him 99% (i can't say 100 cause i don't help him financially at all) but since we're both in college still, and go to different schools, I really have gotten a sense (i think) of what it is like to be the SO of a pilot. I really only get to see John on the weekends, sometimes it will be longer than that before we see eachother. we try to talk on the phone a lot which helps. I'd definatly suggust having her go over to fcapa. that place is fun...i believe there is a thread over there about 'uniforms' she might want to check out

hehe

good luck to you!

jtrain609 · December 1st, 2003, 12:46

Actually, I tend to think that skibum has a great idea of what it's going to be like. We live about 100 miles away from each other so we don't see each other for about 4 days, and then we're together on the weekends for maybe 3 days. This to me resembles an airline schedule pretty well and I think prepares me and skibum for the potential of me heading off to an airline in the future. At the rate I'm going right now, that may or may not happen; but I think she knows what to expect if that does happen.

Cheers

John Herreshoff

flygirl813126 · December 1st, 2003, 18:43

If the difference between supporting your SO 99% and 100% is financial, then I guess I get credit for the 100. My fiance is attending a flight program right now, and I am attending a different school for education. We see eachother about every 3 weeks for 3 days. Less often during soccer season. We started dating when we lived 20 minutes apart, but we have been doing this distance thing for 2 1/2 years. As for aviation there is nothing I can do but support him. He was interested in aviation before we started dating, and I could never ask him to give up his dream. As for the financial standpoint he doesn't get support from his family. He gets a decent amount of financial aid, but I have picked up some of his tuition, as well as flight stuff. Who knew a checkride could be so expensive?

So as a response to the original question, I definitely stand by John.

Kristie · December 1st, 2003, 19:42

[ QUOTE ]
Before I met Kristie, most girls I ran into saw a broke CFI as a 'bum' and didn't want to have much to do with me, but Kristie really didn't care about my financial situation or financial future.

Even now, she pretty much has no idea what I make before taxes which is kosher.

[/ QUOTE ]hmmmmm - i guess that's a conversation we need to have then eh?! HAHA

[ QUOTE ]
The pilot will not always be able to be reached by phone (no answering the cell at FL370!) that means that there will often be 'home fires' to be put out that the SO will have to deal with. Like when the battery back-up on the sump pump fails. Or when the ignition switch on the car burns up and the car is now sitting lifeless & useless in the driveway.

[/ QUOTE ] or when the pilot light on the gas heater goes out (man.. that was SCARY! since i'm not a person that likes to deal with fire)...

but yea - those type of scenarios will happen but when everyone's happy about what their doing "with their life" it's so much more worthwhile and enjoyable! I started out supporting doug 90% with a few bumps in the road (scheduling is usually what ticks me off the most) but after a while, you get used to it and before you know it - you are supporting 110% without even knowing it!
have yer woman join up here or in FCAPA - she's more than welcome!!

FlyChicaga · December 1st, 2003, 20:15

Flygirl where in IL are you? U of I?

girlfriend · December 1st, 2003, 22:26

One of the things that drew me to Lloyd was his drive and ambition. I am constantly telling him we are on the same team! I love the fact that he is willing to do what it takes to achieve his goals. I cannot support his decision to eat ramen noodles in order to save money...LOL. Other than that , I am behind him all the way! Jetcareers has helped me in the ways of the aviation world. Trips,schedules, reserves, flight engineer, captain, first officer and alot of other words are making sense to me now. This is a great place for her to get a real understanding of the life of pilots and their families. Plus, alot of times it is better than any soap opera on tv !

FL270 · December 2nd, 2003, 12:01

[ QUOTE ]
Plus, alot of times it is better than any soap opera on tv !

[/ QUOTE ]Ain't that the truth!

ERAU_Intern · December 2nd, 2003, 23:15

Never thought of it that way, but yeah. It is!

flygirl813126 · December 3rd, 2003, 17:19

Flychicaga-yes my boy is down in Champaign. I am up in the suburbs going to school.

FlyChicaga · December 3rd, 2003, 17:28

Cool, send me a PM, I might know him! What suburb?? I didn't think Champaign had any suburbs...

(I know they don't, I just think it's funny how when people say "the suburbs" in IL you immediately know Chicago)

braidkid · December 4th, 2003, 06:53

I too am very fortunate to have a supportive wife. People say to stay single getting into this mess but I tend to think that my wife and I together have more earning potential and will therefore have it easier when the times get lean.
Anyway, my wife is currently applying for flight attendent positions!! She is in Richmond for an interview right now and has another one next week!! I'm very excited for her!! Who knows, perhaps someday we could work the same flight!! I'm not sure how we're ever going to see eachother with her as an FA and me as pilot but we'll cross that bridge once we get there.

MQAAord · December 4th, 2003, 08:08

Tell your wife 'good luck'! I hope she gets on somewhere good! Did you get the second PM I sent you guys? My computer was having some issues the other day

, I'm not sure if it sent the message.

Doug Taylor · December 4th, 2003, 08:17

Your computer was having issues?

Does it need a little Dr. Phil?

MQAAord · December 4th, 2003, 12:46

Yeah, we've reformatted our laptop (aquired through the Delta company purchase plan from PeoplePC) 3 times now, and it still does some very strange things sometimes. It could use little heart-to-heart with Dr. Phil!

My desktop (which I got 3 years ago through AAs purchase plan with Dell) has never been reformatted, and never given me any trouble at all.

November 30th, 2003, 21:09	#1
Windchill Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Mid-Atlantic, KMRB Posts: 1,925	Family Support How many ladies out there are 'standing by their man' or men 'standing by your ladies' while they train for a career they wish to pursue--dream they so much want to chase knowing the economical benefits aren't great in the beginning? I ask because my fiance, who has to be the absolute greatest (obviously aware others out there believe their own fiance is the greatest, but you know what I mean), has told me after lengthy discussions about what we're going to do after we get married, where we will live, etc. that she wants me to pursue my dream and train to fly. We know there will be setbacks and struggles, but she wants me to be happy and is 99% supportive (of course there will be some doubt in the back of the mind, a little fear of the unknown) of us going this route opposed to more stable careers that might better support ourselves and children when we have them. I was wondering how many others are out there in the same dilemna standing by your significant others that maybe my fiance could talk with for some insight and reassurance. I'm trying to convince her to jump on board JetCareers like some of the other 'significant others.'

November 30th, 2003, 22:13	#2
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,129	Re: Family Support Well I am a strong believer that you do what makes you happy, not what is easiest. I support my husband 99%. When I feel very strongly that he is making the wrong decision about something I speak my mind and I do not let up until we have come to an agreement or compromise. We are pretty fortunate and it won't be as much of a struggle for us as it is and has been for others, but there will still be many sacrifices and a lot of patience needed as we will probably end up moving many times, not being together on important occasions, etc. The biggest thing for me that makes it easy to accept, is that I when after he's been away, that when he comes home it will be 100% about me and our family. I know some guys might come home and want to go out with the buddies, go golfing, go to bars, etc. That would not work for me. When he's home, he is home and we are going to be getting the best of all the time we will have together so that the time apart is less painful. I know how important his son is to him as well, and I know he will do everything he can to be there for him in every way possible. I would not be as tolerant if he was the kind of dad to just not want to be bothered by his children, because that would be a huge burden on me. I know some times it's going to be really hard, and I will feel like a single parent. But knowing that he is happy and enjoying his career instead of lugging in to work with "I hate Monday" syndrome, will make it all worth it. Anyway, that was just a bunch of rambling, hope any of it was helpful. Tell her to sign up, we need some more estrogen around here. Or better yet, have her sign up on Kristie's site, www.fcapa.org cause that's where the women rule! And we can talk about girl stuff without all the manly nonesense that goes on around here. Lol.

November 30th, 2003, 23:26	#3
Doug Taylor Agent Smith Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: KSDL Posts: 39,517 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Family Support Before I met Kristie, most girls I ran into saw a broke CFI as a 'bum' and didn't want to have much to do with me, but Kristie really didn't care about my financial situation or financial future. Even now, she pretty much has no idea what I make before taxes which is kosher.

December 1st, 2003, 09:39	#4
ready2fly Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: DFW Posts: 7,070	Re: Family Support Well, speaking on behalf of my wife - she's behind me 110%. When we met, I still had no real idea "what I wanted to be when I grow up." Shortly after 9/11 (odd timing, huh? ) I had an epiphany and that was it - I wanted to fly for a living. Aviation had been my childhood fascination. I lost sight of it for several years, but when it came back, it came back with a vengance. I think the hardest day of our relationship was the day I went home and told her what I wanted to do. I was SURE it would be greeted with a "Whaaaa?????" But, to my surprise and GREAT pleasure, she told me "GO FOR IT!!!" I can pretty much assure you that I would not be doing this if not for her support. R2F

December 1st, 2003, 09:48	#5
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,129	Re: Family Support Oh sure. Make me feel like crap for only being 99% supportive. Lol No wife of the year award for me then

December 1st, 2003, 10:50	#6
MQAAord Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Looney Bin Posts: 8,754	Re: Family Support Significant others of pilots MUST understand what is involved in the life of a pilot. The pilot will not always be able to be reached by phone (no answering the cell at FL370!) that means that there will often be 'home fires' to be put out that the SO will have to deal with. Like when the battery back-up on the sump pump fails. Or when the ignition switch on the car burns up and the car is now sitting lifeless & useless in the driveway. The SO must try very hard not to get angry or resentful of the time the pilot spends away, it's a part of the job. The girl my husband dated seriously before me left him because she couldn't deal with him being gone 4 days a week. Understand junior manning/weather/mechanicals happen, sometimes when a pilot is supposed to coming home, they can't! It's not their fault if their commuter flight cancels, or there's a blizzard, they may not make it home at their original scheduled time. Also when the pilot returns home, give him/her a little while to decompress. Don't attack him right away with all the things around the house that need to be fixed, errands to do, etc. He's been away for a few days, he needs some time to chill when he gets home from a trip!

December 1st, 2003, 12:35	#7
TheShortOne Old Skool Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Park City, UT Posts: 3,293	Re: Family Support as a SO for a guy who is flight training now, I'm behind him 99% (i can't say 100 cause i don't help him financially at all) but since we're both in college still, and go to different schools, I really have gotten a sense (i think) of what it is like to be the SO of a pilot. I really only get to see John on the weekends, sometimes it will be longer than that before we see eachother. we try to talk on the phone a lot which helps. I'd definatly suggust having her go over to fcapa. that place is fun...i believe there is a thread over there about 'uniforms' she might want to check out hehe good luck to you!

December 1st, 2003, 12:46	#8
jtrain609 Old Skool Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Park City, UT Posts: 12,063	Re: Family Support Actually, I tend to think that skibum has a great idea of what it's going to be like. We live about 100 miles away from each other so we don't see each other for about 4 days, and then we're together on the weekends for maybe 3 days. This to me resembles an airline schedule pretty well and I think prepares me and skibum for the potential of me heading off to an airline in the future. At the rate I'm going right now, that may or may not happen; but I think she knows what to expect if that does happen. Cheers John Herreshoff

December 1st, 2003, 18:43	#9
flygirl813126 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 343	Re: Family Support If the difference between supporting your SO 99% and 100% is financial, then I guess I get credit for the 100. My fiance is attending a flight program right now, and I am attending a different school for education. We see eachother about every 3 weeks for 3 days. Less often during soccer season. We started dating when we lived 20 minutes apart, but we have been doing this distance thing for 2 1/2 years. As for aviation there is nothing I can do but support him. He was interested in aviation before we started dating, and I could never ask him to give up his dream. As for the financial standpoint he doesn't get support from his family. He gets a decent amount of financial aid, but I have picked up some of his tuition, as well as flight stuff. Who knew a checkride could be so expensive? So as a response to the original question, I definitely stand by John.

December 1st, 2003, 19:42	#10
Kristie Big Chief's Woman Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 17,661 Blog Entries: 3	Re: Family Support [ QUOTE ] Before I met Kristie, most girls I ran into saw a broke CFI as a 'bum' and didn't want to have much to do with me, but Kristie really didn't care about my financial situation or financial future. Even now, she pretty much has no idea what I make before taxes which is kosher. [/ QUOTE ]hmmmmm - i guess that's a conversation we need to have then eh?! HAHA [ QUOTE ] The pilot will not always be able to be reached by phone (no answering the cell at FL370!) that means that there will often be 'home fires' to be put out that the SO will have to deal with. Like when the battery back-up on the sump pump fails. Or when the ignition switch on the car burns up and the car is now sitting lifeless & useless in the driveway. [/ QUOTE ] or when the pilot light on the gas heater goes out (man.. that was SCARY! since i'm not a person that likes to deal with fire)... but yea - those type of scenarios will happen but when everyone's happy about what their doing "with their life" it's so much more worthwhile and enjoyable! I started out supporting doug 90% with a few bumps in the road (scheduling is usually what ticks me off the most) but after a while, you get used to it and before you know it - you are supporting 110% without even knowing it! have yer woman join up here or in FCAPA - she's more than welcome!!

December 1st, 2003, 20:15	#11
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,745	Re: Family Support Flygirl where in IL are you? U of I?

December 1st, 2003, 22:26	#12
girlfriend Newbie Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Nashville,Tn Posts: 26	Re: Family Support One of the things that drew me to Lloyd was his drive and ambition. I am constantly telling him we are on the same team! I love the fact that he is willing to do what it takes to achieve his goals. I cannot support his decision to eat ramen noodles in order to save money...LOL. Other than that , I am behind him all the way! Jetcareers has helped me in the ways of the aviation world. Trips,schedules, reserves, flight engineer, captain, first officer and alot of other words are making sense to me now. This is a great place for her to get a real understanding of the life of pilots and their families. Plus, alot of times it is better than any soap opera on tv !

December 2nd, 2003, 12:01	#13
FL270 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 1,101	Re: Family Support [ QUOTE ] Plus, alot of times it is better than any soap opera on tv ! [/ QUOTE ]Ain't that the truth!

December 2nd, 2003, 23:15	#14
ERAU_Intern Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Knoxville, Maryland Posts: 244	Re: Family Support Never thought of it that way, but yeah. It is!

December 3rd, 2003, 17:19	#15
flygirl813126 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 343	Re: Family Support Flychicaga-yes my boy is down in Champaign. I am up in the suburbs going to school.

December 3rd, 2003, 17:28	#16
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,745	Re: Family Support Cool, send me a PM, I might know him! What suburb?? I didn't think Champaign had any suburbs... (I know they don't, I just think it's funny how when people say "the suburbs" in IL you immediately know Chicago)

December 4th, 2003, 06:53	#17
braidkid Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 556	Re: Family Support I too am very fortunate to have a supportive wife. People say to stay single getting into this mess but I tend to think that my wife and I together have more earning potential and will therefore have it easier when the times get lean. Anyway, my wife is currently applying for flight attendent positions!! She is in Richmond for an interview right now and has another one next week!! I'm very excited for her!! Who knows, perhaps someday we could work the same flight!! I'm not sure how we're ever going to see eachother with her as an FA and me as pilot but we'll cross that bridge once we get there.

December 4th, 2003, 08:08	#18
MQAAord Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Looney Bin Posts: 8,754	Re: Family Support Tell your wife 'good luck'! I hope she gets on somewhere good! Did you get the second PM I sent you guys? My computer was having some issues the other day , I'm not sure if it sent the message.

December 4th, 2003, 08:17	#19
Doug Taylor Agent Smith Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: KSDL Posts: 39,517 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Family Support Your computer was having issues? Does it need a little Dr. Phil?

December 4th, 2003, 12:46	#20
MQAAord Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Looney Bin Posts: 8,754	Re: Family Support Yeah, we've reformatted our laptop (aquired through the Delta company purchase plan from PeoplePC) 3 times now, and it still does some very strange things sometimes. It could use little heart-to-heart with Dr. Phil! My desktop (which I got 3 years ago through AAs purchase plan with Dell) has never been reformatted, and never given me any trouble at all.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode