What to tell a serious girlfriend

FlySooner9 · January 5th, 2008, 00:03

Well as most of you know im still in college, however i have a pretty serious girlfriend. I have no intentions of getting married before finishing college, but my question is what do i tell her about the aviation life? We have talked about it a lot and she sounds pretty accepting of it and says she would be behind me all the way. Just wondering what some big things are to cover before things get even more serious in our relationship? Also any advice that you might have for me or both of us. Also sorta off the subject, but shes a meteorology major. What kind of jobs in the aviation field could she possibly get? Do airlines have their own group of meteorologist?

Doug Taylor · January 5th, 2008, 00:08

Show her some schedules, a couple of perspectives articles, etc.

ctab5060X · January 5th, 2008, 03:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig_Davidson

Well as most of you know im still in college, however i have a pretty serious girlfriend. I have no intentions of getting married before finishing college, but my question is what do i tell her about the aviation life? We have talked about it a lot and she sounds pretty accepting of it and says she would be behind me all the way. Just wondering what some big things are to cover before things get even more serious in our relationship? Also any advice that you might have for me or both of us. Also sorta off the subject, but shes a meteorology major. What kind of jobs in the aviation field could she possibly get? Do airlines have their own group of meteorologist?

Whatever you tell her, tell her the truth and be honest about everything in the aviation industry. Tell her both the positives and the negatives about flying for a living. Show her some schedules, pay scales, and anything you can get you hands on that will help explain the lifestyle in terms she will understand. Don't exagerate or glorify the profession, just be frank...you will both appreciate it in the long run.

Doug Taylor · January 5th, 2008, 03:11

True that.

Send her over to Jetgirls.net. She'll see both the positive AND the negative sides of being on the receiving end of being involved with an aviator. And ask lots of questions too.

Pietrantonio · January 5th, 2008, 05:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by ctab5060X

Whatever you tell her, tell her the truth and be honest about everything in the aviation industry. Tell her both the positives and the negatives about flying for a living. Show her some schedules, pay scales, and anything you can get you hands on that will help explain the lifestyle in terms she will understand. Don't exagerate or glorify the profession, just be frank...you will both appreciate it in the long run.

I'll second that.

I recently had to do the same thing. Though she wasn't exactly thrilled about the "life" of a pilot, she was, however, understanding of the situation.

Chet Kelly · January 5th, 2008, 08:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig_Davidson

Well as most of you know im still in college, however i have a pretty serious girlfriend. I have no intentions of getting married before finishing college, but my question is what do i tell her about the aviation life? We have talked about it a lot and she sounds pretty accepting of it and says she would be behind me all the way. Just wondering what some big things are to cover before things get even more serious in our relationship? Also any advice that you might have for me or both of us. Also sorta off the subject, but shes a meteorology major. What kind of jobs in the aviation field could she possibly get? Do airlines have their own group of meteorologist?

Craig,

The biggest thing, as mentioned earlier, is to be 100% honest with her. Don't sugar coat anything and show her the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'll share my thoughts as to what I would do in your situation.

First, make a list of pros and cons. Here is a sampling of what I would include.

Salary: list what you realistically expect to make during various times in your career. Couple that with realistic expectations as to where you see yourself in both the short-term and the long-term. Be conservative and don't underestimate the amount of time you may be spending at a job that isn't your ultimate goal. Also, make sure she knows that TWO incomes are more than likely going to needed, especially in the beginning.

Schedule: This is going to be huge and probably just as important as the salary. Let her know that you are not always going to be home for the holidays, vacations may not occur during the summer, she may be home alone when the furnace decides to quit, etc. On the positive side, pilots are at an advantage to maximize time off too. i.e., creative bidding can turn 2 weeks of vacation into 4. Seniority is what is going to drive your schedule. Other factors include domicile, type of equipment flown, cargo vs pax, and type of flying. i.e., domestic vs international. You are not always going to come home feeling 100% refreshed, especially if the trip was long and/or fatiguing. Let her know that you may need some time to recover and readjust to being at home - especially if you have been flying multiple time zones.

I have been at UPS for almost 8 years, and I have an advantage in that I got married after I started flying here, so I only had to share with my wife the scheduling aspects of one job instead of what to expect during a career progression. My typical schedule (I'm international) has me gone for up to 12 to 14 days in a row. The advantage is that it also comes with a large chunk of time off when I'm home. Domestic schedules tend to be more of a week-on/week-off schedule.

Lines vs Reserve: line-holders will know their schedules ahead of time and this makes planning a lot easier. If you are on reserve, you don't know when you are flying until they call, and then you have a limited time to get to the airport. If you live in domicile and bid reserve, each day that you don't fly is one more day off that you didn't anticipate having. If you commute, you will spend time away from home in a crash-pad with other pilots waiting to get called - and sometimes you never get called.

Commuting vs Living in Domicile: Figure out where you two want to eventually call home. My advice is to treat this like any other job and live where you are based. Commuting is possible, but you may end up spending more of your off-time getting to and from work.

Getting there: how do you plan on getting from where you are to where you want to go? Answer this question and share your plan with your potential bride. Do you want to pursue a path via the regional airlines or do you want to fly charters? Are you wiling to relocate to take a time-building job? If so, how long do you plan to do it for?

Is your wife willing to make some sacrifices along the way? i.e., possibly wait on starting a family, renting for long-term, possibly working a job other than what she is passionate for in order to pay the bills. These are examples of the types of questions I would raise and discuss.

No Such Thing as Secure: I'm sure you have probably discussed this with her, but make sure she also knows this industry is not known for it's enviable job security. Airlines go bankrupt, they furlough, and they ask for concessions. Your career may be a smooth one, or it may have many bumps along the way. Make sure she is very much aware that both roads exist.

Quote:

Also any advice that you might have for me or both of us.

Yes. This is slightly off the aviation topic but very much on the topic of marriage. The biggest topic couples argue about the most in America is finance and money. It is also the leading cause of divorce. Therefore, I'm going to recommend two books for you to read as well as some friendly advice.

The books. Read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Also, read The Millionaire Next Door, I don't remember the author.

The advice: both of you must be on the same page financially. Put a monthly budget on paper, balance your checkbook every month, and LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS. I can't emphasize how much of a head start you and your lovely bride have with youth and two incomes. With the exception of a home mortgage one day, avoid needless debt. If you have debt starting out, take advantage of having two incomes and pay it off ASAP. It might mean doing without for a while, but you two will be very wealthy one day sooner than later.

I hope you find this helpful and insightful.

esa17 · January 5th, 2008, 08:36

Tell her to sign the pre-nup so when she divorces you, you're not back eating ramen noodles to get your three squares a day.

mnixon · January 5th, 2008, 11:43

I've found that no matter what I tell my wife, she's never prepared so tell her it's gonna suck, and then move on and deal with it, one argument at a time.

cassabe · January 5th, 2008, 14:29

jetgirls.net

Pietrantonio · January 5th, 2008, 15:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by mnixon

I've found that no matter what I tell my wife, she's never prepared so tell her it's gonna suck, and then move on and deal with it, one argument at a time.

That's for sure

wmo131 · January 5th, 2008, 22:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig_Davidson

Also any advice that you might have for me or both of us. Also sorta off the subject, but shes a meteorology major. What kind of jobs in the aviation field could she possibly get? Do airlines have their own group of meteorologist?

NW has their own meteorologists. At least they used to if they still don't. I would think most major airlines would as well.

Velocipede · January 6th, 2008, 00:18

Tell her, "When we've been married 20 years, I'll have only been home 10. Start getting used to fixing cars, washers, etc. And get a hobby/profession that will occupy your time."

Kristie · January 7th, 2008, 00:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by mnixon

I've found that no matter what I tell my wife, she's never prepared so tell her it's gonna suck, and then move on and deal with it, one argument at a time.

i can vouch for that! It'll take 5+ years for her to actually get the jist of it and get used to it.

Also, send her over to talk to us about how it really is.. we'll give her the lowdown and help prepare her! Jetgirls.net

GalaxyIFE · January 7th, 2008, 20:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by esa17

Tell her to sign the pre-nup so when she divorces you, you're not back eating ramen noodles to get your three squares a day.

Gotta watch out for #1....

FlySooner9 · January 8th, 2008, 23:57

thanks everyone for their advice. Kristie im definitely going to get her looking at jetgirls.net

FlySooner9 · January 9th, 2008, 00:10

thanks everyone for their advice. Kristie im definitely going to get her looking at jetgirls.net

cptwife80 · January 9th, 2008, 14:56

I think if you reassure her that even though the pilot life is hard the time you have together is even better after being away. Also let her know about being gone for months on end for training and try to get her to have a lot of friends that will keep her busy. Cause trust me after being married to a pilot for 9 years having someone to talk to and do things with while your man is away helps a whole lot. I am currently preparing for the fact I may be husbandless for 2 months this spring so I am getting all my girls together and making plans.

TFaudree_ERAU · January 10th, 2008, 10:56

Being in corporate aviation, I told my girlfriend that if she is looking for a husband that is guaranteed to be around for our children's every birthday and baseball game, then she needs to head back to the pond with her fishing pole, because I can't guarantee her any of that.

Its the harsh reality, but I'm the type of person that tells it like it is rather than sugar coat it.