AIDS??????

[rayray311]

Well I recently spoke with a corporate pilot and he was giving me some inside to the industry because I am getting ready to jump into a career as a pilot. He warned me about AIDS....Airline Induced Divorce Syndrome. I believe that is the correct definition.

I am going to become a pilot because I love flying and I do not currently enjoy my career and don't forsee a good future with the path I'm going down now.

I am also doing it because I am recently married and want to get into a good career for my family.

This pilot had mentioned that the first 3-5 years in the regionals I will be gone 20-25 days a month. That threw me back. I didn't know it was that much. If it is I believe in AIDS.

I do not want the career I get into to destroy my marriage, when the first reason I got into it was FOR my marriage.

Any input? Or opinions on what my first few years in the regionals might be like with my schedule?

Thanks
Ray

[MQAAord]

It's not about statistics or numbers of other marriages that have ended, it's about your marriage! Is your wife accepting of some time alone? Does she understand that you'll be gone for 2-5 days a week? There's a lot of women who have no problem at ALL with their husband being gone, but there's some women out there that can't deal with being alone, or not having their man home every night. If you've married an independant woman who can deal with being alone for a few days a week, you'll probably be fine!

A pilot isn't the only career field where a husband is gone often though too! My father-in-law used to be in sales, his position would take him away from home quite often, traveling throughout the midwest.

Personally, I LOVE being a pilot's wife. It's great when he's here, but when he's gone I certainly do not sit around pining for him. I take that time to enjoy sprawling in the bed, watching whatever I want on TV, not having to worry about cooking so much, and going to bed when *I* want! I talk to him on the phone everyday, and we do a lot of text & picture messaging. Just because he's not here in front of me, doesn't mean he isn't a part of my life.

Sit down and have a discussion about how she feels about being alone for a few days. Kristie's website, http://www.jetgirls.net is a fabulous resource for spouses/significant others of pilots too.

[kellwolf]

Ditto what Amber said. Make sure your SO knows EXACTLY what the job is going to entail. Be upfront, give them a copy of your schedule every month and above all TALK. It's rough on my wife sometimes, but she understood what we were getting into from the start, and there's no way I'd be where I am without her support.

Realistically, you'll be working about 20 days a month when you first start, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're GONE 20 days a month. It depends on how you work the schedule. There are a lot of trips I have that have me leaving at like 2 in the afternoon and home at noon on the last day. That's like having two more half days off IMO. Also, I have the option of bidding two day trips, which have me in my own bed every other night. The money's better on the longer trips, so we decided to stick with those. But the option's there if one month Nessa decides she needs me home more often to help out. Next month I've got vacation, and I have NINETEEN days off. As you move up in seniority, you'll get more days off at home. This month, I had sixteen days off and STILL flew over 90 hours.

[PaulR]

Just FYI. Most pilots are away from home 218 days a year, some more and some less. thats about 144-160 days at home for most pilots. Now the fact that you can group some days off lets you utilize that time a bit better, like a small trip or outing, but for the most part time at home for an airline pilot is very covetted.

Check out the contracts for airlines you are interested in working for and see what the minimum days off are and what the average month provides, in terms of days off for the pilots group. As with anything seniority helps out with getting better schedules.

There are TONS of folks here than can share some info about thier airlines bidding and schedules.

Good Luck

[Brand X]

Ray, did you see ABC's world news tonight yesterday? They had a story about more and more companies cracking down on employees with tattoos. They making them remove them or always keep them covered OR they are not hiring people with them in the first place.

[adreamer]

watching whatever I want on TV, not having to worry about cooking so much

Fighting for remote control, Amber? mmm, sportscenter vs lifetime, discovery channel...

just kidding

[scramjet]

If you have trust, faith, and confidence in each other, both of you will do fine! Good luck on your career!

[pedro]

Originally Posted by Brand X

Ray, did you see ABC's world news tonight yesterday? They had a story about more and more companies cracking down on employees with tattoos. They making them remove them or always keep them covered OR they are not hiring people with them in the first place.

I think this is in the wrong thread, might belong in the lav. just a thought though

back on subject, make sure she knows what to expect. My SO says she supports me fully but she wont check out http://jetgirls.net If you can get her to go there she will find a lot of support. It depends on the two of you. Everyones situations is different.

[SeatClutcher]

There are so many divorce "syndromes"! Military, doctor, pilot, etc. Any occupation can "cause" a divorce, really, if you believe an occupation can cause a divorce.

Like Amber said, it's about YOU TWO. Pooh on statistics.

[kellwolf]

Originally Posted by pedex

back on subject, make sure she knows what to expect. My SO says she supports me fully but she wont check out http://jetgirls.net If you can get her to go there she will find a lot of support. It depends on the two of you. Everyones situations is different.

My wife's registered over there, but I don't know if she's ever posted or reads the forums. It's one of those "lead a duck to water" deals. I keep telling her it's like a built in support group.

[SeatClutcher]

Originally Posted by kellwolf

My wife's registered over there, but I don't know if she's ever posted or reads the forums. It's one of those "lead a duck to water" deals. I keep telling her it's like a built in support group.

Except for when it's down, like now. Who's it helping now, huh? HUH?

[pedro]

speaking of being down...was JC down last night? I couldnt access it all night. I checked the nameservers and they were servfail. Did anyone else experiance that?

[HRDiva]

I'm suffering withdrawal from jetgirls!

[pedro]

ahhh...now I see the post about JC's downtime.

[eastbayk]

Ray- don't believe the hype. Divorce can happen in any occupation and I have yet to see any concrete evidence that the rate is any higher among pilots than it is the general public.

The biggest indicators of how well your marriage will fare are how well you communicate and how independant you both are. Is she ok with the fact that the crew will have downtime together and that may include a female flight attendant? Is she comfortable handling emergencies at home without you there to help?

As far as schedules, there is a huge variation based on airlines, hubs, and seniority. For us, my husband chose a hub on the other side of the US (literally, I'm in FL and he's in CA) because he would be able to hold a line sooner and we prefer having the more concrete schedule. If he went to a closer hub, he'd be on reserve longer and have less control over his schedule. But he's still able to get home for 1.5 days a week. Next month he'll have a better schedule b/c he moved up in seniority. You'd do best to ask someone who works at the specific airline you are considering.

I second, third, and fourth the reccomendation of visiting jetgirls. Even if she doesn't post, most of the forums can be read as a guest. Also, I've been keeping a blog for about a year now about what is is like to be the wife of a pilot. I started when he started instructing and now the man is an FO with a regional. She might be interested in reading that as well.

Good luck!

K

[Murdoughnut]

Originally Posted by rayray311

I am going to become a pilot because I love flying ...

I am also doing it because I am recently married and want to get into a good career for my family.

Post of the month - right here!

[732_fan]

I was almost a victim of PIDS... which is Police Induced Divorce Syndrome. This kind of thing is prevalent in many occupations. As a detective, I was awakened from my bed many nights due to the stupidity of others. Its one thing to know that you will be gone for 3-4 days. It's another to not know when you'll be leaving, or how long you'll be gone when you do. Both cases are tough on marriages. It takes alot of communication beween couples.

[averyrm]

According to statistics more than 50% of jobs lead to divorce apparently.

Like most said, if it's a bad relationship it was going to end regardless if you are a pilot or not.

[SeanD]

Originally Posted by Brand X

Ray, did you see ABC's world news tonight yesterday? They had a story about more and more companies cracking down on employees with tattoos. They making them remove them or always keep them covered OR they are not hiring people with them in the first place.

If your referring to his avatar that is a pick of Tim Mahoney from 311 I do believe and not the poster Ray. Not to mention that was a pretty ignorant response. The guy is looking for serious advice about his future so respect it or get out.

[rayray311]

Please brand x dont talk to me EVER. i have received numerous messages from people on here warning me about u and i have also read about u on other threads. i dont know what you did to rub so may people the wrong way, but u did it to me my 2nd day on here. seriously, lets just not talk to each other. i thought we agreed to do that. thanks

Originally Posted by Brand X

Ray, did you see ABC's world news tonight yesterday? They had a story about more and more companies cracking down on employees with tattoos. They making them remove them or always keep them covered OR they are not hiring people with them in the first place.

[rayray311]

Originally Posted by SeanD

If your referring to his avatar that is a pick of Tim Mahoney from 311 I do believe and not the poster Ray. Not to mention that was a pretty ignorant response. The guy is looking for serious advice about his future so respect it or get out.

thanks for ur backing. his comments go back to an old post I had about tattoos becuz i have a few.

[drhunterr]

Man, my dad used to be in sales when I was younger - had him away about 320 nights a year. He and my mom always made it work, but I watched one of his coworkers who actually traveled less go through a horrible divorce. I think it boils down to this:if what you have is solid, if its real, it'll make it through. You also have to consider that the marriage/relationship will always be better if you love what you do for money...you'll just be a far happier person.

thats my 8 cents

[typhoonpilot]

Always live in base. Don't commute and you will be home much more. You also won't be stuck in some hotel/crashpad in base with nothing to do many nights per month. You won't have the stress of getting to and from work on a non-rev/jumpseat basis.

Living in base goes a long way to preventing divorce.



Typhoonpilot

[MQAAord]

Originally Posted by typhoonpilot

Always live in base. Don't commute and you will be home much more. You also won't be stuck in some hotel/crashpad in base with nothing to do many nights per month. You won't have the stress of getting to and from work on a non-rev/jumpseat basis.

Living in base goes a long way to preventing divorce.



Typhoonpilot

That's not always possible! Commuting to live closer to family can actualy HELP a marriage, with more access to support. Also, typical base cities are not exactly affordable, living in NYC on a new-hire salary with a family often is just not practical. Or, what if the spouse has a really good job that it wouldn't make financial sense to leave?

Commuting in and of itself is NOT either a good or bad thing. It's individual circumstances that make it good or bad.

[Mr.Maximus]

Ray - there's alot of good, accurate information regarding your question on here. You definately need to sit down with her and give her worst case scenario stuff, and make sure she's ok. Low wages the first couple of years, possible commuting for you or maybe a move for the family to your base etc. etc. Really, it comes down to the two of you. I commuted for a couple of years, and at times it was pretty tough. Finally decided I was wasting to much potential family time commuting - so moved the family to where I was based. This was a very significant improvement. As my seniority went up - the schedules got better and before I left 121 to fly corporate I was getting 16-17 days a month off. Now flying corporate, I get the same 16-17 days a month off - plus the added benefit that 80% of my trips are out and backs - so home almost every night. I found commuting to be very difficult as time went on, but sometimes it's a necessary evil in the beginning. Try to get on with a decent operation that will allow the family to afford living in base. Just be upfront with her and brief her on all aspects and you should do fine. Heck, in some ways it's actually really good to have some "space". Absence does seem to make the heart grow fonder.

Good Luck to ya


Max