dealing with an addict family member

[mooneyguy]

My Family lived through this. I also have (had) a cousin die at 25 (not an O.D. but prolonged use of drugs). There has been some good advice, the the short of it is...offer support (no not money), offer to go with him to get help. if he doesnt want to get help HE WILL NOT GET IT! He wants money to score again!!! take care of the family as much as possible, but again dont give her (the g/f) money!!! He will talk her out of it!
Im sorry you have to deal with this, its not easy! But you have to be strong right now!

[sschlesinger]

Hello I had a dear friend in a similiar situation as your brothers. Here's what I did to help 1st intervention i'm sure your family and close friends would be there to help you out. Right after you do the intervention i'm talking like an hour after drive him to an inpatient treatment center. The last resort that is actually the worse is make it so he goes to jail. I had to do this to another friend cause they were getting high 24/7 and the only thing that would help was to call the police. As sad as it is in jail the chances of them getting any drugs is a lot less then inpatient help. I know it sound horrible to send a family member to jail but when they are in there they have no chance but to dry up and go straight also it will give him time to truly reflect his life while in there.


Good Luck

Steven

[Kristie]

it will give him time to truly reflect his life while in there.

that's what i thought would happen when my dad went to jail...but actually, no... he could have cared less and didn't even help his attorney when his attorney needed it. at least now that he's out (paid his 85% price), he's trying little by little.. alot more than when he was behind bars. but then again, my dad's situation was different..albiet alcohol was the trigger to everything and it did do the trick in cleaning it out of his sytem.

[TheWife]

I'm torn on jail, I guess it depends on how bad it is. But I've seen a few people able to clean up on their own and are now leading happy and successful lives and deserve the best despite a few years of problems. I know that if their families had sent them to jail, they'd have a record that may have prohibited employment in the future. On the other hand, if someone is dangerous enough that they could hurt someone, maybe it's best that they are locked up. I don't know. I just suggest not being too quick to just go w/ the jail route.

[sschlesinger]

Originally Posted by sschlesinger

The last resort that is actually the worse is make it so he goes to jail.

Originally Posted by TheWife

I'm torn on jail, I guess it depends on how bad it is. But I've seen a few people able to clean up on their own and are now leading happy and successful lives and deserve the best despite a few years of problems. I know that if their families had sent them to jail, they'd have a record that may have prohibited employment in the future. On the other hand, if someone is dangerous enough that they could hurt someone, maybe it's best that they are locked up. I don't know. I just suggest not being too quick to just go w/ the jail route.

Like I said last resort i would rather have a family member behind bars then dead at least it would give him a chance to start fresh when he gets out hopefully.

[S.T.Aviator]

One thing I have come to realize when trying to help friends or family members is to always stay grounded and make sure my needs are taken care of first. This is not meant to sound selfish, but how can we help someone else when our cup is half full. If we come from a place of peace and understanding we can accomplish much more than coming from a place of fear and frustration. Take time to do the things you enjoy in life and at the same time, be there for your brother. We are all here to walk our own special path in life. Sometimes it may not make sense when we see all the suffering in the world, but we all have a divine plan to fullfill.

[S.T.Aviator]

Hey Triple7. I hope things are coming along for your brother. Today I drove my friend to a rehab clinic to check himself in. At the clinic I was told about a group called Co-Anon. It is much like AA or NA but designed to help family and friends through the tough task of dealing with a loved one who has a cocaine addiction. I thought I would post the website here for anyone that may be interested. They have groups all over the States, Canada, Sweden and the U.K.

http://www.co-anon.org/