Problem with elders

[haree]

Hi

Iam the only son of my dad and mom and my main problem is LAck of parental support. They say becoming a pilot is risky and cannot risk their only sons life for his measly ambition etc.

Anyone who can suggest how i can convince them??.

Haree: While I understand their concern, it's truly a shame that your parents consider your ambition to be "measly"!

Live YOUR life for YOU - not your parents. I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer when it came to what my family thougth was "right" for my life. While I love them and value their opinion (as I'm sure you do yours) I endevour to live my life as I see fit. I do what makes ME happy.

You should do the same.

That's my 0.02

[eas]

It sounds like it is up to you to try to educate them with regards to aviation. Try to share with them what you love about aviation and your plan for making an aviation career for yourself. It sounds like your parents care very much about you. they probably just don't understand how you are going to be successful in an aviation career. They will always worry about you to a certain degree, especially on bad weather nights, but hopefully with a little information they will become supportive of your dreams.

I agree that following the beat of your own drummer is very important but, I would not recommend doing so at the risk of losing your family. It doesn't have to be a them or flying situation. Teach them!

Be well, fly safe, and good luck.
Eas

[emelin]

I am right there with you bud! I also am an only child and have problems with my parents when it comes to flying for a living. I am constanly being harassed about how it would be the stupidest decision I could make, that I will never make it to the majors, that even if I do make it I will hate the lifestyle of a pilot, that I will end up divorced, that I will go on welfare, that I could get killed in training [img]images/icons/crazy.gif[/img] , that I could get hijacked(9-11 comes in really handy to my parents) [img]images/icons/crazy.gif[/img] ...it NEVER ENDS. Frankly I would rather find out the hard way that they are right than not even try. My dad is not so bad but my mother is so violently opposed to me flying that she attempts to convince my fiance that I will make a terrible husband as a pilot, hoping that she will talk me out of it. My fiance supports me 100% by the way, and is looking forward the upsides of having a pilot for a husband. I thank God every day that he provided me with a partner that will be with me in my career choice, even though I am asking her to sacrifice so much. As long as she supports me at least I know I'm not stepping feet first into an unhappy mariage.

I don't think there is an easy answer to this one. They have a right to their opinion and you have the right to choose your career. With my parents it is kind of hard because I'm no longer living with them and don't get to spend that much time with them, so the time we do have together is spent arguing about flying for a living. The only thing I have been able to do is to not bring it up at all, and if it is brought up by them to do whatever possible to change the subject. At least then the time I spend with them is quality time. I suggest if possible to leave your current location once you begin your career. You will probably have to anyway as you will go where the job/training is. The time away from your parents will be good for both of you as it will give you all a chance to cool off. Then once you are successful in your career they will realize it is not so bad and your relationship with them will improve. At the very least they will enjoy any flight bennefits you could offer them.

[haree]

Thanks one and all..

Please keep in touch

I have some tests so cannot spend much time on web

Will meet u again by Sunday

I wasn't suggesting that you do anything to jeapordize your relationship with your family as I believe that the relationship with ones family is quite valuable.

What I meant was (and perhaps by first response was a tad abrupt) was that you should always make your own decisions for yourself. YES - by all means, hear your parents out! They MAY have valid opinions which you can research and - as the other member here have said - educate them as to how it REALLY is. Keep them informed. Keep them involved (or as involved as you see fit - only YOU know how to deal with your parents).

My point is - follow your dream (sorry - had to bust out the cliche').

flyguy -- I'm in the same boat as you. My fiance (soon to be my wife as of March 30th) is 100% behind me and I do thank God for her every day! It could be much worse if she were not behind me on this. Good luck! When are you getting hitched?
(feel free to respond on my private message section if you want).

[Astin]

I've gotten the same bit from my Dad, except it's "you've worked hard for a great career, etc...why would you give it up for a childish dream".
Ready2fly, have you gotten any of this?

Not from my parents - even though Mom is graciously biting her tongue. She's not overly thrilled about my career choice, but the overriding factor is - I'll be happy - so that tempers her urge to scream "DON'T DO IT MAN!!"

My aunt on the other hand.......well, let's just say that she didn't have the courage to call me or to say something to me in person, but she gave me a good chiding on e-mail which went something like "you should consider your mother's feelings more when making your decisions......." and it went on ad-nausiem. I was as diplomatic as I could be until she began to challenge my ability to make "wise" decisions (i.e. decisions that SHE agreed with) and then "it was on". I got harsh - in short told her to bug out and mind her own business. In doing so, I got the entire families support.

BOTTOME LINE: You're never going to be able to make eveybody happy. So, make sure that YOU are happy first. Every thing else will fall into place.

[emelin]

ready2fly,

Check your PMs.

[jorap]

Test

[Scorpio11982]

hey haree.. samething here man.. My I am an only child and my mother is asingle parent... even though she knew i wanted to be a pilot since i was 4 she told me to be alittle more realistic and pick another career.. when i was in the 10-11 grade i told here i was going to enlist in the U.S Navy that it was part of my big plan.. I'd go to school( Try for atleast an Associate)( and A PPL) get some money come out with the the The GI bill.. and and fly for my CFI and Bachelor... still she said no that she doesn't want me to die in a plane crash and yadi yadi yada.she also said that it will be hard for me because their aren't alot of African American pilots. Communication is the key... if the see that you are really serious about it and that noting they say or do can change your mind then they will say good luck and their prayers will be with you. talked her into singing my paper and enlisted (At 17).. cuz if she didn't sign it she knew i would join when i turned 18.. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
I am now 19 and part off Embry-Riddle Distant learning program.. I start classes on Base and on the CPU and will Start MY PPL training here on the Base with the Bases Flying club in April( really cheap too) . I was suppose to start in march but the plane they have is undergoing an engine change and new paint job.. so everything is going acording to plan( thank GOD for that)..
And your will too if you play the cards right... GOOD LUCK Haree [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif[/img]

[haree]

Hi,

Yup, I am trying real hard to get atleast my PPL by the time i finish my Integrated MS which will be over in 2006.

They dont want me to die in the sky at 20 instead its better to die at 75 on the ground.

I think he forgot about the 417 others who are gonna fly with 2 pilots [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] ) [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

Keep in touch

[dakovich]

another only child here, my mom wasn't to keen on the idea of me flying either. all the worry, especially after 9/11 of her only "baby" getting hurt or something. dad is cool with it, he always wanted to be a jet mechanic but went for the college route instead and became an engineer. makes good money, but he hates it...always says, "######ing cubicals suck, never work in a cubical!". even after i spent $$$ on a 4-year degree and decided to be a pilot he was cool about it. he brought ma along to, shes much more into the idea, especially after i told her eventually she'll get free airline tickets through me when i make it that far. she really liked that idea. the rest of my family is a lot less supportive though, they support me cause they love me, but i can tell they don't understand why i would get a degree and then do this. but i don't much care, someday they'll see why i did this and they'll understand.

i guess you just have to make yourself happy, do your thing, and let the rest of um understand why later.

[haree]

Hi guys~~~

Well I feel gr8 after reading all your experiences..

I have decided to take up pilotting at any cost.but i have somethings to be cleared. I dont have a driver's licence (I'm just 18 ) My passport hasnt arrived yet.blah blah........

So i guess i'll have to wait for next sememster to get over too!!

C ya often guys!!!

[emelin]

Originally posted by haree:
I dont have a driver's licence (I'm just 18 )

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Just 18? How old do you have to be to get a driver's licence in India? You only have to be 16 here in the states.

[haree]

hi flyguy

in india u must be 18 to do anything legal.

I was born in 83 and so just turned 18 and a week more until i get my Driver licence

Anyway is it important??

[emelin]

Originally posted by haree:
Anyway is it important??

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Not important, I was just curious. That kinda sucks, but congrats on turning 18. Happy belated birthday! [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[haree]

Thanks a lot!!

anyway keep this thread alive... I know many with this Concern

Bye

HHHHHOOOOLY CRAP! I graduated HIGH SCHOOL in `83!!!!

[I_Money]

HHHHHOOOOLY CRAP! I graduated HIGH SCHOOL in `83!!!!

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I think this picture was taken in 1983 (it could have been 84 though).



Does anyone know who the politician holding me is?

I think the bigger question is: WH Y ARE YOU WEARING A DRESS??????

Actually, the guy looks like Andy Kaufman.

[haree]

Well Hi again guys!!

Iain u looked gr8 in `84..

Hey here's a new one i got to share with yu guys. A Family friend suddenly made a remark which threw me back to square 1 of consoling my parents..He said he knew a lot of pilots (I must say he hasnt even seen a airliner )...This is what he said

" Dont make him a pilot. You are from a diplomatic family (we).Do you want to see your son flirting around with those air-hostesses (No FAs in india)??? Better think abt it..after all its only DRIVING a Plane !!!

Tell me folks should i bury him alive or Burn him the traditional way???

[Doug Taylor]

Andy Kaufman!

[John2375]

I'm also an "only child" and my father died when I was 10. My mom never said "don't fly" but I knew from an early age she wanted me to focus on a "safe" job like music, which I was also into. I asked for flying lessons when I was around 12-13, but she said it was awfully expensive which probably was true but I took it as a "no way you're going to fly" comment. I pursued music, enjoying it, but still wishing to fly. Everytime I'd talk about it, even in high school, she'd look slightly worried and say "Oh well that's a responsible job" or "well of course that *is* a dangerous job" and things that are probably nothing more than a loving mother being a loving mother, but of course I took it as an excuse to be pissed off. After 3 years of post-college failure in the music field, I decided I was living on my own, doing my own thing, so why not? I started taking flying lessons secretly, then told her I was thinking of doing it (after I'd had about 5-6 hours already) and she was interested, and I felt only marginally supportive. I think it was simply her being scared to realize that I was fulfulling my dream and I would no longer be the same..she only expressed more interest when I became more "serious" about it (in her eyes): When I spent a few days in Florida looking at some flight schools I think she realized this was for real...I wasn't going to just stick with my private license; I was going to make a go of it. Since then she's been incredibly supportive financially and emotionally, and says she looks forward to riding as a passenger on a flight I'm flying one day!! I even took her flying last summer and flew over the house...she loved that. I can't offer advise since every family dynamic is different; but I thought I'd just share my personal experience; mothers (and fathers) are naturally protective and biased; it's natural, and you have to hope they're also understanding. I'm sure (even if she won't tell me) my mom loves the fact I'm flying because it's an impressive thing to do, and at the same time hates it because she goes to bed at night not knowing if I'm in the air somewhere happily enjoying the night or in a raging storm fighting to find the runway, or hanging out at home with my girlfriend.
--John

[Astin]

That looks like Randy Quaid to me! (ala Family Christmas Vacation).