Newley Weds

Jake_D · November 13th, 2001, 14:42

My wife and I have only been married for 6 months now. When we first met she knew I was trainging to be a pilot, but now after we have been married awhile, she is not too thrilled with the idea of me leaving for a few days at a time in the future. Does anyone have any advice I can give to make her feel more at ease with the upcomming situation, or does anyone have any stories on their own marriage and how they got through it?

November 14th, 2001, 05:13

First off - good luck to you and your new wife. I am engaged myself and will begin my training a few months after our wedding.

I printed out the article written by Doug's fiance'. It's under Non Flying Careers - "Pilot's Significant Others".

How far along in your training are you? Best of luck!

Eagle · November 14th, 2001, 06:14

2nd the good luck to you and your new wife!!

The only advice I have is based on my situation. I am gone now 8-15 days a month, (non flying job for the next 15 months) My wife (also a pilot which helps) has enough going on between her job and working on ber Masters, that we just enjoy the time we have together, and don't dwell on the time we are apart.

Some folks have issues with being apart because of a lack of companionship, lack of trust (is he/she behaving ) if he /she loved me they would give up that profession. etc. can be based on some level of insecurity I suspect. Independence in a relationship is as important as respect and togetherness. But above all, is effective communication. You must be willing to discuss this (which it sounds like you are.)
Without knowing where her concern is based, it is difficult to be more specific.
Kristie’s article is very good on covering some of the concerns.

flybimmer · November 14th, 2001, 10:12

Ditto! [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

**DONOTDELETE** · November 14th, 2001, 17:41

Hello everyone! I browse through this site all time but decided to register because of Jakes concern. Jake, my husband and I have been married for 13 years (whew!) we are both 31 and have 2 children. It wasn't easy for me in the beginning when my husband became a pilot and definitely not easy for him and the children. What kept me supportive of my husband was the constant reminder of our wedding vows made before our creator and that is "To Love and to honor through good times or bad times"
(actually I'm paraphrasing). My husband would talk to me all the time about what was going on with his job. He's given me websites to browse through to keep abreast of the industry. Basically he keeps me involved and when I'm involved I feel like we are in this together literally. My suggestion is to try to get your wife involved in discussion groups such as this. Keep her in the know at all times and also call her as much as you can by telling her you miss her and love her. You can never stop telling a girl this. Even after 13 yrs of marriage hearing my husband tell me this never loses it's effect. Most of all say a little prayer everynight for God to Bless your marriage and keep it solid always. I'm telling you it works! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

Kristie · November 14th, 2001, 18:30

I have to give 'a pilotswife' a lot of credit on this one.. what she said is very true...

get your wife involved with others in her situation, if you can... and keep in touch constantly. Doug and I use cell phones most of the time and we talk everyday no matter whether he's home or on a trip.

it makes such a difference to tell her she's doing a great job by hanging in there and adjusting so well.

i'm working on setting up a new organization called 'familiees of commercial airline pilots association'.. the website is up at fcapa.org and the bulletin board is starting to take off. there's also a great editorial that someone sent me through the email about how they dealt with all the changes and everything. she really did a great job of explaining and even some of her situation, i went through, so it's easy to relate to.

there's also another chat board called 'pilotswives' on yahoo where alot of married wives and stay at home wives go to talk about what's going on or get advice on certain situations. it's been really helpful for a lot of people including myself.

hope this helps!

Jake_D · November 14th, 2001, 18:35

Thanks a lot for everyones help so far. I think Stacey will be more at ease if I can get her into some of these groups and introduce her to some pilots wives. I know we are just starting out and we have a long road ahead of us, but I am certain we will get there.

November 16th, 2001, 19:27

APilotsWife. Amen to what you encouraged. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

Jake_D · November 17th, 2001, 06:22

Ready2fly, to answer your question about my training at this point, I still have quite a ways to go. I started my training in lat 1999 before I met my wife. I flew out of Palwuekee Municipal in Wheeling, Illinois. After I met my wife I had to put off training for a while; I had to concentrate on moving and planning a wedding. But the setback was only temporary. It is now after the wedding and I have enrolled in a Southeastern Okalhoma State University where I am finishing my training as well as my degree. I have soloed, but that is about as far as I have had a chance to get. In the recent months, I have spent most of my time reading everything I can get my hands on, and talking to every pilot I can. I have a wealth of knowledge on my hands, I am just waiting to put it to good use.