separation during training...

killbilly · July 20th, 2006, 17:16

This may be more applicable to the Skymates/Ari-Ben/ATP forums but I figured I'd ask the question here more appropriately...

Those of you who have done these "live at the school" programs...how did you make it work with significant others? Especially when said wife/gf/bf was in another state? I know many have said they were supportive and made it work, but...how...nuts and bolts...did you make it work? How'd you deal with having little money, stress, etc?

Just wanted to hear some success stories, I guess.

Airdale · July 20th, 2006, 17:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by killbilly

This may be more applicable to the Skymates/Ari-Ben/ATP forums but I figured I'd ask the question here more appropriately...

Those of you who have done these "live at the school" programs...how did you make it work with significant others? Especially when said wife/gf/bf was in another state? I know many have said they were supportive and made it work, but...how...nuts and bolts...did you make it work? How'd you deal with having little money, stress, etc?

Just wanted to hear some success stories, I guess.

Did it while I was in the Coast Guard, did it while I was training at ATP, and doing it now while instructing at ATP. It sucks, but you make sacrifice's to better your career and lifestyle, not just for you but the other person too. Just make sure the two of you are always on the same page. There's always the unknown, but my fiance and I have had our rough times, but we make sure we stay positive. Of course I go home to see her whenever I have the time, that helps as well.

Either way it does suck, but as long as she's with you for the long haul, its not an issue. If its not a serious relationship I wouldn't sweat it. Being engaged, I know she's in the for the long haul, but we know if we make sacrifice's now while we're young, someday when were in our 30's we will be happy with the decisions we made. Nothing is permanent, we just view it as a temporary thing.

As far as money, well I don't know how I get buy, I just do. You live at or below your means, never above. Which means cheap meals and cut entertainment items to a minimum.

greaper007 · July 20th, 2006, 17:37

I suck it up and try to remember that she's usually right. Almost 2 years long distance here. It sucks monkey balls, but what are you going to do. I'm just hoping I can make the next job is closer to her. Not only do I miss her, but she makes about 6 times as much as I do.

Don't skimp on the phone calls. I try to budget an hour every night. Also personal research has shown me that one month is the longest you can go without seeing eachother.

Goodluck

Blue Side Up · July 20th, 2006, 18:39

I have been in one for a little over 2 years. A few months ago when i was down visiting we were walking through best buy and saw webcams. webcams are even better then having the cell phones and they are quite cheap. i couldnt believe we didnt think of it early on. it really helps to see your significant other even if you arent in the same state.

USMC-SGT · July 20th, 2006, 18:45

Im going on 6 months now for the second time with multiple 2+ month seperations. It certainly does suck but communication is key. It will not be an issue if you are in the states still and merely training or working. Call your your sig other every day even if it is just to say hi and I love you. Text them, email them. Whatever you have to do to make the seperation not seem like physical seperation. Your bodies will be seperate but not your minds etc...meaning the communication and bonding can be all there minus the physical.

It will make you stronger in the long run for sure, and if it doesnt and it happens to be the end of you, just remember it wasnt the seperation that put the nail in the coffin, although it could have been a factor, it was NOT the reason for your demise.

If you have any questions on tips or tricks to help make it not such a crappy situation let me know, I like to think i am an expert in this subject matter.

surreal1221 · July 21st, 2006, 08:10

After roughly a 2 year long distance relationship (courtesy of me joining the military, dealing with tech school, etc while the grilfriend - then fiancee - was in college). . . the key is the following.

Communication

Use up those cell phone hours, as that's all you're going to have for however long you are away. Sure e-mail, IM, the like, are nice. . . but chicks get tired of e-mails and IMs and want to hear your voice. Sounds cheesy, but we all know how emotional females can get.

Nevertheless, make sure your communication is up to par, if not better. Any spare time you have, take a return trip back home and spend a couple days with the significant other. I know it can be tough, and not always accomplished, so your travels may vary.

I wish you luck!

edit: Ah snap. . . didn't even notice usmc-sgt had stated this already. doh!

mtsu_av8er · July 24th, 2006, 16:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by greaper007

. . . one month is the longest you can go without seeing eachother.

Nonsense!!!

mtsu_av8er · July 24th, 2006, 16:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by USMC-SGT

. . . if it doesnt and it happens to be the end of you, just remember it wasnt the seperation that put the nail in the coffin . . .

Well said, Leatherneck.

USMC-SGT · July 24th, 2006, 16:12

thanks mtsu

Ive been told I know a few things about a few things...
ahmen on the one month nonsense...im going on 8 and running strong...

Tim · July 27th, 2006, 09:53

When I did my training my family went with me. She was the one working and supporting us.. I worked on weekends at Delta. It is very tough juggling 2 kids and wife and work and trying to train full time. Another buddy came there solo and worked his butt on and was done in 9 months. He went home 1 weekend a month and they came down last 2 months he was there finishing up. It takes a TON of commitment on both ends to make it work.

kellwolf · August 6th, 2006, 12:12

Well, I spent a few months in GKY training, went home for two weeks, got the call that I got the instructor job, packed up and left for 7 months. In those seven months, the only time I got to come home was when the owner of the school let me use his plane to fly home (all I had to do was put gas in it). So, in 7 months, I saw my wife and infant son for a grand total of four days. In a word, it sucked.

How did we make it work? It was said before "communication." Talking to the other person in your life on a daily basis goes a long way. Relationships aren't really built on the big things like jobs, money, etc. It's the little things that make them work. If you don't talk often, those little things either disappear or the bad ones pile up.

Now that all of that is done and over, we're all three in our own house together, and life couldn't be better. One of the things we kept saying was "At least I'm not getting shot at." I seriously don't see how military personnel can do it and keep their family together. Kudos to you guys.

mtsu_av8er · August 9th, 2006, 01:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellwolf

I seriously don't see how military personnel can do it and keep their family together. Kudos to you guys.

Lots of whiskey, man . . . lots of whiskey.

Maximillian_Jenius · August 9th, 2006, 03:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by USMC-SGT

Im going on 6 months now for the second time with multiple 2+ month seperations. It certainly does suck but communication is key. It will not be an issue if you are in the states still and merely training or working. Call your your sig other every day even if it is just to say hi and I love you. Text them, email them. Whatever you have to do to make the seperation not seem like physical seperation. Your bodies will be seperate but not your minds etc...meaning the communication and bonding can be all there minus the physical.

It will make you stronger in the long run for sure, and if it doesnt and it happens to be the end of you, just remember it wasnt the seperation that put the nail in the coffin, although it could have been a factor, it was NOT the reason for your demise.

If you have any questions on tips or tricks to help make it not such a crappy situation let me know, I like to think i am an expert in this subject matter.

Or "Jodie" will get your girl. You military types know all about "Jodie" right?

mtsu_av8er · August 9th, 2006, 14:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maximillian_Jenius

Or "Jodie" will get your girl. You military types know all about "Jodie" right?

Oh, Suzie is safe!

Maximillian_Jenius · August 9th, 2006, 18:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtsu_av8er

Oh, Suzie is safe!

I learned about "Jodie" from Jarhead. But my cousin is a leatherneck too and he gave me ALOT of stories about "Jodie" from friends and even his own stories.

Thats sucks to be defending your country and recieve mail from your girl/guy that your best friend or some other ####er is putting the screws to your mate.