Aids....

[Windchill]

Originally Posted by Sprint100

The real sickening thing is that people say the marriage vows and have NO idea what any of them mean. For worse = when your spouse has a cold.

No Sprint, that part falls under "... in sickness and in health ... "

[greaper007]

The divorce rate doesn't surprise me. Also I don't think that all divorces are bad. I was very happy when my parents finally got divorced. They had an unhappy relationship that was doomed from the begining.

Seriously, imagine still being best friends with your best friend from elementary school, or even high school. Relationships just don't seem to work like that to me. We constantly grow and change as people. Get rid of the rediculous stigma attached to divorce, and there's no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. As a kid that lived through people that "stayed togethor for the kids." I implore you not to stay togethor for the kids.

[JEP]

Originally Posted by Sprint100

...... For worse = when your spouse has a cold.

Shoot, when I get a cold, I don't want my wife bothering me. Leave me alone in my misery.

[toughnuts]

Originally Posted by Theotokos

People give up too easy. People marry for better or FOR WORSE. Not just when things are going good. There's the problem. People today marry "for better, not for worse, till another lover does them part". That and they do not really love each other, which even if you have no religious belief whatsoever, is a stupid notion--don't marry a person if you don't love them. I think most of the people who divorce in the aviation world a) either just do not think it is worth it b) did not really love each other.

Originally Posted by EatSleepFly

That's a rather naieve statement.

I do not think that it is a naive statement, but I do think additional information needs to be addressed. Most divorces today are the result of how our dating system is set up today. I'm not saying that arranged marriages are the answer; I am saying that you should only date someone if you can see yourself marrying them. Otherwise it is a waste of time. If you just date someone until you get (tired/sick of them) / don't like them anymore, this will set you up for failure.

Originally Posted by greaper007

The divorce rate doesn't surprise me. Also I don't think that all divorces are bad. I was very happy when my parents finally got divorced. They had an unhappy relationship that was doomed from the begining.

Seriously, imagine still being best friends with your best friend from elementary school, or even high school. Relationships just don't seem to work like that to me. We constantly grow and change as people. Get rid of the rediculous stigma attached to divorce, and there's no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. As a kid that lived through people that "stayed togethor for the kids." I implore you not to stay togethor for the kids.

So how many wives are you going to have then? I tell you this, EVERYBODY has hard times. If you leave when times are hard, the process will repeat over and over again. YOU will be unhappy.

[greaper007]

Originally Posted by toughnuts

I do not think that it is a naive statement, but I do think additional information needs to be addressed. Most divorces today are the result of how our dating system is set up today. I'm not saying that arranged marriages are the answer; I am saying that you should only date someone if you can see yourself marrying them. Otherwise it is a waste of time. If you just date someone until you get (tired/sick of them) / don't like them anymore, this will set you up for failure.


So how many wives are you going to have then? I tell you this, EVERYBODY has hard times. If you leave when times are hard, the process will repeat over and over again. YOU will be unhappy.

Ok tough, I see that at 18 you have a ton of experience with this stuff. Granted I'm only about 5 mins older than you, but you have to realize marrying forever is somewhat of a dated concept. People change, expectations change. What you want at 18, 25 30 40.... is going to be different as time goes on. I can tell you from personal experience that my parents are much happier now that they're divorced. My sisters and I are also very happy that they're divorced. My girlfriend is divorced. It's just not as cut and dry as you're implying. Some situations are unforseen, and you never know how you or your partner might change.

As far as only dating people you think you might marry. Well that seems like a rediculous concept to me. I dated lots of women I wouldn't even want to go out with. Why, they were attractive, or not hung up about sex or just simply available. My philosophy is have a good time and don't look too hard. Thats when you meet someone you might want to spend a long period of time with. My current 4 and a half year relationship started as a drunken hook up. But hey, that's not for everyone. We all have different things that make us happy. So don't think that multiple marriages will make you unhappy. If your a crazy dionysion (sp?) hard living beat type guy you just might need to keep it crazy to keep it fresh and stay happy.

[Chris_Ford]

Originally Posted by greaper007

My current 4 and a half year relationship started as a drunken hook up. But hey, that's not for everyone.

Can't wait until the kids hear that story

[Doug Taylor]

I think you've got to date A LOT of women before you settle down, in my opinion.

Marriage isn't always about what you think you want in a person, it's often what you need in a person as well and without experience, you won't figure out either.

[Maximillian_Jenius]

Originally Posted by Doug Taylor

I think you've got to date A LOT of women before you settle down, in my opinion.

Marriage isn't always about what you think you want in a person, it's often what you need in a person as well and without experience, you won't figure out either.

Doug could you expound on that thought process a little more please? I'm interested in what you mean by "it's often what you need in a person." I definately know what you mean when you say it's not what you think you want in a person as we all witnessed in Scarebus's post the other week.

[greaper007]

Originally Posted by Chris_Ford

Can't wait until the kids hear that story

I'll tell anyone who asks.

[Doug Taylor]

I mean that with the girls that I dated when I was younger, I basically looked for women that looked good that wouldn't interfere with the time I wanted to spend with my friends. I dated a lot of women that I really didn't like but I found them appealing for more 'obvious' reasons. The type you'd go out to a party with, drop them off about 11pm, hang out with your friends until 2am and then catch up with them later on.

So since I was dating women that made "ok" girlfriends, but rotten friends, it wasn't fulfilling.

[Kristie]

Originally Posted by toughnuts

I am saying that you should only date someone if you can see yourself marrying them. Otherwise it is a waste of time.

how do you figure? how can you date and figure out what you like/don't like if your always looking for "someone to marry"? by your definition, how can you possibly date anyone? you don't know in the first 5 minutes whether or not they're marraige material....it takes time, it takes experiences and In my opinion...dating needs to be fun... it needs to be someone different everytime with a different personality, different likes/dislikes so that you can learn what you can live with, what you can live without and what you really need in a spouse.

[Doug Taylor]

It's kind of like going to "Old Country Buffet".

You have to sample a little of everything to figure what to go back for.

But if you look around the spread, say, "Oh, I'll just get a big old plate of beef with a brown-type sauce and some green beans", it might really suck. And then you find yourself with a plate of inedible food and you've got to have the waitress clear your table so you can start all over again.

[Ian J]

Originally Posted by Theotokos

People give up too easy. People marry for better or FOR WORSE. Not just when things are going good. There's the problem. People today marry "for better, not for worse, till another lover does them part". That and they do not really love each other, which even if you have no religious belief whatsoever, is a stupid notion--don't marry a person you don't love them. I think most of the people who divorce in the aviation world a) either just do not think it is worth it b) did not really love each other.

I don't think people should marry "for better or for worse" if the marriage was a mistake to begin with. Face it, people make mistakes in a lot of different areas, and dating/ marriage is no exception. I'm glad that divorce is more accepted now... how many unhappy marriages have continued needlessly because of religious pressure, or by saying its "for the kids?" "Don't marry a person [if] you don't love them" sounds like a no-brainer. Hey, I completely agree. But what if you think you love them because you are young, inexperienced, or were maybe conditioned to believe you HAVE to get married. Eventually you or your spouse will come to your senses and thank goodness such a thing as a divorce exists (no matter how expensive it may be) to end the misery. Keeping a marriage together at all costs is destructive to mind and soul.

[PT6drvr]

I agree with the above statement. In our field specially, your spouse or partner needs to know what kind of schedule we're expected to follow and unfortunately, there are a lot of spouses/partners that can't handle it. It may not be so much the lack of love but the opportunity that either the pilot or the "lonely spouse/partner" may find and stray away.

[mtsu_av8er]

Originally Posted by Doug Taylor

It's kind of like going to "Old Country Buffet".

You have to sample a little of everything to figure what to go back for.

But if you look around the spread, say, "Oh, I'll just get a big old plate of beef with a brown-type sauce and some green beans", it might really suck. And then you find yourself with a plate of inedible food and you've got to have the waitress clear your table so you can start all over again.

Doug, try the pot pie - it's full of flavor, and the crust is light and flakey!!

[Sprint100]

Originally Posted by ChinookDriver

I don't think people should marry "for better or for worse" if the marriage was a mistake to begin with. Face it, people make mistakes in a lot of different areas, and dating/ marriage is no exception. I'm glad that divorce is more accepted now... how many unhappy marriages have continued needlessly because of religious pressure, or by saying its "for the kids?" "Don't marry a person [if] you don't love them" sounds like a no-brainer. Hey, I completely agree. But what if you think you love them because you are young, inexperienced, or were maybe conditioned to believe you HAVE to get married. Eventually you or your spouse will come to your senses and thank goodness such a thing as a divorce exists (no matter how expensive it may be) to end the misery. Keeping a marriage together at all costs is destructive to mind and soul.

LMAO. I'm sorry I am totally into the whole vow thing, etc. I think marriage needs to be done WITHOUT the vows for most, just have a reception and call it a day.
Sad states of mind