Stress at the beginning

FlyChicaga · November 28th, 2002, 21:53

I don't like talking about personal issues on public forums, but I had a question for those with experience in this arena.

There is someone who I feel very strongly about, and we were talking about how difficult life is going to be for the next few years for each of us in our careers. She is going into the Navy as an Officer on ships (I still call them boats!) for the next 5 years. Me, I'll be starting out at FO wages and what not in the regionals (hopefully!).

It is really a long shot that I could be so lucky to have any kind of relationship with her. If it were to happen, would it have any chance for survival seeing as how our lives are going to be so different for the next half a decade? I even thought hard about getting my times up to be eligible for hire at a place like SkyWest or ACA, depending on a base assignment. I know, dumb thinks to be thinking about in a situation as mine.

Have any of you had situations like this? How did you deal with it? Did you have a strong relationship before the stresses came? Or did you start your relationship this way, then work it more into being together?

Who knows, might never come to be, but I'm going to go for it. Can't stand around all my life thinking about it.

Pilot21 · November 29th, 2002, 08:54

You need to do what YOU want to do. If it is there then go for it 100%. Dont give up, we all have obstacles we need to overcome especially in our lifestyle as pilots. "Where theres a will theres a way". GOOD LUCK.

Virusss · December 1st, 2002, 15:37

remeber some one said before (dont rememeber who)

-Most pilots are divorced or are on their 2nd and 3rd wifes.
(I think it was Doug. Correct me if im wrong who said that). So my point is if you are really commited do what othere pilots do talk to her in your spare time as much as possible maybe that will help both of you with your long range realationship

<font color="red"> Disclaimer: Note to all jetcareers members this is just advice which "I" personally think is a good way to keep in touch and as they say keep the homefires burning. I know most of you know my age so please dont Criticize me thank you</font color>

davetheflyer · December 4th, 2002, 16:10

Flychicaga,

I think that you know that it would be difficult. It's difficult in the best of circumstances. That doesn't mean that it won't work, however, it just means that both of you would have to work that much harder to make it work.

My advice would be to not rush into anything. Long distance relationships are tough, but being married or what not would not make it any easier. Talk on the phone, emails, snail mail, see each other when you can, and just see what develops.

She should be sympathetic to your career since she has longer trips than you do. At the very least, she will know what she's getting into.

My wife and I were married for about a year and a half before I made my career change. It is tough. She's been great about it, however, and is very supportive of my pursuit of my dream.

I agree with you. Go for it. No matter how it turns out, it will be better than wondering what might have been for the rest of your life.

Godspeed.

FlyChicaga · December 5th, 2002, 09:23

Thanks for the replies all.

John_Doe · December 15th, 2002, 22:14

Leave her! You don't sound like you are that into her. She's not worth it!

If those statements make you mad, make it work!

Athena · August 21st, 2003, 19:35

Most important is to decide what you want from a relationship. (get your mind out of the gutter

) Be realistic about what kind of time you have for someone. I am lucky because the person I am with I have been best friends with for 12 years and together with for 2 years. Our relationship works well because we have enough time apart. We get usually one or two days a week together. We talk throughout the week. Her schedule is a Sun through Wed. I work sat/sun and sleep all day Monday. It feels like whenever we do get together it still feels like we are dating when we go out. I love it. If you are meant for someone you can probably work it out. Just be very honest with your partner and especially yourself.

Doug Taylor · August 22nd, 2003, 00:52

I met Kristie on the internet when I was a starving CFI living on a couch and working in the SF Bay Ara and she was an engineering student in Florida.

If she's the 'shiznit' and your 'boo', it'll work. If she ain't yo 'baby', it ain't goin' work!

Kristie · August 22nd, 2003, 02:09

Doug and I are proof that it "can" work....

but.. it will take A LOT more effort on both of your parts to MAKE it work for the time you need it to... one side cannot dwindle, otherwise it really will not work...

Doug and I met when he was instructing... we had to grow together at the same time that he was pursuing career 100% and making absolutely welfare wages.. i won't put it lightly and say that we had trouble at some points... we had trouble all the time but as long as you grow together and keep the commitment up, then you'll make it through - together....

if you really like her - there's no reason you shouldn't try it and see how it goes... if anything - being in an LDR really makes the relationship stronger and the bond tighter because you KNOW it's worth it.. otherwise you woudln't be putting yourselves through all the work and stress (just like with your career)...

all i gotta say (that you already know) is: hard word pays off! you've worked damn hard to get and keep your career on track - put the same type of effort into this and you could win big time, if that's what you want!!!

one thing that makes it easier - is to use every bit of communciation you have to keep in touch as much as you can.. cell phones, long dist phone cards, email, chat rooms whatever it takes is what you gotta put into it!

good luck!!

MikeD · August 22nd, 2003, 06:18

Tough as hell with her going on up to 6 month cruises at a time.

Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick.

Doug Taylor · August 22nd, 2003, 07:00

[ QUOTE ]
Tough as hell with her going on up to 6 month cruises at a time.

Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just married smart one that got a good job so I don't have to bark when she comes home with a $100 cut, dry and color!

FlyChicaga · August 22nd, 2003, 08:43

Wow, revive a thread from the dead!

This girl I was talking about and I are e-mailing back and forth for the next 8 months during her cruise. We'll see where it goes from there.

No matter what I know we'll still remain best friends for our whole lives.

H46Bubba · August 22nd, 2003, 12:14

You would have to transfer to another airline if you were to try and make a go of it. Is she a pilot or just a regular officer? That also adds to the pot.

FlyChicaga · August 22nd, 2003, 12:38

Regular officer. I wouldn't need to transfer. I think her plan is to move to Chicago when her commitment is up.

H46Bubba · August 22nd, 2003, 13:00

She could probably get a billet up at NTC Great Lakes. God how I hated it up there. Chicago was really nice but Waukeegan sucked!

FlyChicaga · August 22nd, 2003, 15:02

Yeah I've been up there a lot. Not too exciting.

fly22 · August 22nd, 2003, 15:26

Like my pappy always told me. " Its easier to marry a rich chick but when you do you earn every penny." I should have listened or I wouldn't have had to call of our engagement.

Eagle · August 23rd, 2003, 11:30

[ QUOTE ]
Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's what I did... more or less

outside_looking_in · August 25th, 2003, 21:21

Hey FlyChicaga, eventhough I am only 22 and don't have a heck of a lot of exp. with women, I can say this. The one thing I have learned is not to worry too much. When you worry too much, I think women sense this as some type of inferiority or self esteem issue. They can't help it, they just usually lose interest. Keep talking to her any way you can, stay confident, and stay ok with the distance thing. As long as you are ok with it, and you are meant to be together, then she will be ok with it, and things quite possibly could work out. If not, then like you said, you will always have a friend.

Hey, good luck!!

ready2fly · August 26th, 2003, 09:00

[ QUOTE ]
Hey FlyChicaga, eventhough I am only 22 and don't have a heck of a lot of exp. with women, I can say this. The one thing I have learned is not to worry too much........

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't this ^^^ the same as saying "I don't know how to fly a plane, but I've discovered that if you don't crash, you'll be okay."

Kidding. Shot was there. I had to take it.

Athena · August 26th, 2003, 16:20

[ QUOTE ]
I met Kristie on the internet when I was a starving CFI living on a couch and working in the SF Bay Ara and she was an engineering student in Florida.

If she's the 'shiznit' and your 'boo', it'll work. If she ain't yo 'baby', it ain't goin' work!

[/ QUOTE ]

Break it down Doug oh yeah....Barry White her from time to time can't get 'nuff of yo love baybay.

outside_looking_in · August 26th, 2003, 22:17

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hey FlyChicaga, eventhough I am only 22 and don't have a heck of a lot of exp. with women, I can say this. The one thing I have learned is not to worry too much........

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't this ^^^ the same as saying "I don't know how to fly a plane, but I've discovered that if you don't crash, you'll be okay."

Kidding. Shot was there. I had to take it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good shot! You made me laugh. All taken in good fun

pavelump · September 5th, 2003, 14:47

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's what I did... more or less

[/ QUOTE ]

Does she have a sister? That is....a rich sister?

I'm trying to decide myself whether I should try to find a soul mate or just commit myself to a life of evil.

Dave

I_Money · September 5th, 2003, 15:10

Go to Monti Carlo I am sure there are some rich spinsters there - well atleast no poor ones.

November 28th, 2002, 21:53	#1
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,747	Stress at the beginning I don't like talking about personal issues on public forums, but I had a question for those with experience in this arena. There is someone who I feel very strongly about, and we were talking about how difficult life is going to be for the next few years for each of us in our careers. She is going into the Navy as an Officer on ships (I still call them boats!) for the next 5 years. Me, I'll be starting out at FO wages and what not in the regionals (hopefully!). It is really a long shot that I could be so lucky to have any kind of relationship with her. If it were to happen, would it have any chance for survival seeing as how our lives are going to be so different for the next half a decade? I even thought hard about getting my times up to be eligible for hire at a place like SkyWest or ACA, depending on a base assignment. I know, dumb thinks to be thinking about in a situation as mine. Have any of you had situations like this? How did you deal with it? Did you have a strong relationship before the stresses came? Or did you start your relationship this way, then work it more into being together? Who knows, might never come to be, but I'm going to go for it. Can't stand around all my life thinking about it.

November 29th, 2002, 08:54	#2
Pilot21 Newbie Join Date: May 2001 Location: Florida and Michigan Posts: 10	Re: Stress at the beginning You need to do what YOU want to do. If it is there then go for it 100%. Dont give up, we all have obstacles we need to overcome especially in our lifestyle as pilots. "Where theres a will theres a way". GOOD LUCK.

December 1st, 2002, 15:37	#3
Virusss Banned Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 165	Re: Stress at the beginning remeber some one said before (dont rememeber who) -Most pilots are divorced or are on their 2nd and 3rd wifes. (I think it was Doug. Correct me if im wrong who said that). So my point is if you are really commited do what othere pilots do talk to her in your spare time as much as possible maybe that will help both of you with your long range realationship <font color="red"> Disclaimer: Note to all jetcareers members this is just advice which "I" personally think is a good way to keep in touch and as they say keep the homefires burning. I know most of you know my age so please dont Criticize me thank you</font color>

December 4th, 2002, 16:10	#4
davetheflyer Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: KATL, Georgia, Tennessee Posts: 1,016	Re: Stress at the beginning Flychicaga, I think that you know that it would be difficult. It's difficult in the best of circumstances. That doesn't mean that it won't work, however, it just means that both of you would have to work that much harder to make it work. My advice would be to not rush into anything. Long distance relationships are tough, but being married or what not would not make it any easier. Talk on the phone, emails, snail mail, see each other when you can, and just see what develops. She should be sympathetic to your career since she has longer trips than you do. At the very least, she will know what she's getting into. My wife and I were married for about a year and a half before I made my career change. It is tough. She's been great about it, however, and is very supportive of my pursuit of my dream. I agree with you. Go for it. No matter how it turns out, it will be better than wondering what might have been for the rest of your life. Godspeed.

December 5th, 2002, 09:23	#5
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,747	Re: Stress at the beginning Thanks for the replies all.

December 15th, 2002, 22:14	#6
John_Doe Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 41	Re: Stress at the beginning Leave her! You don't sound like you are that into her. She's not worth it! If those statements make you mad, make it work!

August 21st, 2003, 19:35	#7
Athena Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northwest State of Mind, WA Posts: 477	Re: Stress at the beginning Most important is to decide what you want from a relationship. (get your mind out of the gutter ) Be realistic about what kind of time you have for someone. I am lucky because the person I am with I have been best friends with for 12 years and together with for 2 years. Our relationship works well because we have enough time apart. We get usually one or two days a week together. We talk throughout the week. Her schedule is a Sun through Wed. I work sat/sun and sleep all day Monday. It feels like whenever we do get together it still feels like we are dating when we go out. I love it. If you are meant for someone you can probably work it out. Just be very honest with your partner and especially yourself.

August 22nd, 2003, 00:52	#8
Doug Taylor Agent Smith Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: KSDL Posts: 39,739 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Stress at the beginning I met Kristie on the internet when I was a starving CFI living on a couch and working in the SF Bay Ara and she was an engineering student in Florida. If she's the 'shiznit' and your 'boo', it'll work. If she ain't yo 'baby', it ain't goin' work!

August 22nd, 2003, 02:09	#9
Kristie Big Chief's Woman Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 17,682 Blog Entries: 3	Re: Stress at the beginning Doug and I are proof that it "can" work.... but.. it will take A LOT more effort on both of your parts to MAKE it work for the time you need it to... one side cannot dwindle, otherwise it really will not work... Doug and I met when he was instructing... we had to grow together at the same time that he was pursuing career 100% and making absolutely welfare wages.. i won't put it lightly and say that we had trouble at some points... we had trouble all the time but as long as you grow together and keep the commitment up, then you'll make it through - together.... if you really like her - there's no reason you shouldn't try it and see how it goes... if anything - being in an LDR really makes the relationship stronger and the bond tighter because you KNOW it's worth it.. otherwise you woudln't be putting yourselves through all the work and stress (just like with your career)... all i gotta say (that you already know) is: hard word pays off! you've worked damn hard to get and keep your career on track - put the same type of effort into this and you could win big time, if that's what you want!!! one thing that makes it easier - is to use every bit of communciation you have to keep in touch as much as you can.. cell phones, long dist phone cards, email, chat rooms whatever it takes is what you gotta put into it! good luck!!

August 22nd, 2003, 06:18	#10
MikeD Administrator Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Pinal Airpark Posts: 6,897	Re: Stress at the beginning Tough as hell with her going on up to 6 month cruises at a time. Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick.

August 22nd, 2003, 07:00	#11
Doug Taylor Agent Smith Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: KSDL Posts: 39,739 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Stress at the beginning [ QUOTE ] Tough as hell with her going on up to 6 month cruises at a time. Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick. [/ QUOTE ] I just married smart one that got a good job so I don't have to bark when she comes home with a $100 cut, dry and color!

August 22nd, 2003, 08:43	#12
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,747	Re: Stress at the beginning Wow, revive a thread from the dead! This girl I was talking about and I are e-mailing back and forth for the next 8 months during her cruise. We'll see where it goes from there. No matter what I know we'll still remain best friends for our whole lives.

August 22nd, 2003, 12:14	#13
H46Bubba Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: CVG Posts: 4,089	Re: Stress at the beginning You would have to transfer to another airline if you were to try and make a go of it. Is she a pilot or just a regular officer? That also adds to the pot.

August 22nd, 2003, 12:38	#14
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,747	Re: Stress at the beginning Regular officer. I wouldn't need to transfer. I think her plan is to move to Chicago when her commitment is up.

August 22nd, 2003, 13:00	#15
H46Bubba Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: CVG Posts: 4,089	Re: Stress at the beginning She could probably get a billet up at NTC Great Lakes. God how I hated it up there. Chicago was really nice but Waukeegan sucked!

August 22nd, 2003, 15:02	#16
FlyChicaga Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 4,747	Re: Stress at the beginning Yeah I've been up there a lot. Not too exciting.

August 22nd, 2003, 15:26	#17
fly22 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: UT, SLC Posts: 1,489	Re: Stress at the beginning Like my pappy always told me. " Its easier to marry a rich chick but when you do you earn every penny." I should have listened or I wouldn't have had to call of our engagement.

August 23rd, 2003, 11:30	#18
Eagle Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 1,272	Re: Stress at the beginning [ QUOTE ] Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick. [/ QUOTE ] that's what I did... more or less

August 25th, 2003, 21:21	#19
outside_looking_in Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: SW Pennsylvania Posts: 142	Re: Stress at the beginning Hey FlyChicaga, eventhough I am only 22 and don't have a heck of a lot of exp. with women, I can say this. The one thing I have learned is not to worry too much. When you worry too much, I think women sense this as some type of inferiority or self esteem issue. They can't help it, they just usually lose interest. Keep talking to her any way you can, stay confident, and stay ok with the distance thing. As long as you are ok with it, and you are meant to be together, then she will be ok with it, and things quite possibly could work out. If not, then like you said, you will always have a friend. Hey, good luck!!

August 26th, 2003, 09:00	#20
ready2fly Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: DFW Posts: 7,079	Re: Stress at the beginning [ QUOTE ] Hey FlyChicaga, eventhough I am only 22 and don't have a heck of a lot of exp. with women, I can say this. The one thing I have learned is not to worry too much........ [/ QUOTE ] Isn't this ^^^ the same as saying "I don't know how to fly a plane, but I've discovered that if you don't crash, you'll be okay." Kidding. Shot was there. I had to take it.

August 26th, 2003, 16:20	#21
Athena Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northwest State of Mind, WA Posts: 477	Re: Stress at the beginning [ QUOTE ] I met Kristie on the internet when I was a starving CFI living on a couch and working in the SF Bay Ara and she was an engineering student in Florida. If she's the 'shiznit' and your 'boo', it'll work. If she ain't yo 'baby', it ain't goin' work! [/ QUOTE ] Break it down Doug oh yeah....Barry White her from time to time can't get 'nuff of yo love baybay.

August 26th, 2003, 22:17	#22
outside_looking_in Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: SW Pennsylvania Posts: 142	Re: Stress at the beginning [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Hey FlyChicaga, eventhough I am only 22 and don't have a heck of a lot of exp. with women, I can say this. The one thing I have learned is not to worry too much........ [/ QUOTE ] Isn't this ^^^ the same as saying "I don't know how to fly a plane, but I've discovered that if you don't crash, you'll be okay." Kidding. Shot was there. I had to take it. [/ QUOTE ] Good shot! You made me laugh. All taken in good fun

September 5th, 2003, 14:47	#23
pavelump Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 789	Re: Stress at the beginning [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Persoanlly, I'd marry a rich chick. [/ QUOTE ] that's what I did... more or less [/ QUOTE ] Does she have a sister? That is....a rich sister? I'm trying to decide myself whether I should try to find a soul mate or just commit myself to a life of evil. Dave

September 5th, 2003, 15:10	#24
I_Money Moderator Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Socal Posts: 5,644	Re: Stress at the beginning Go to Monti Carlo I am sure there are some rich spinsters there - well atleast no poor ones.

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