Could it be? Feeling human again!

[MQAAord]

My little preemie is two months old today. Can't belive it's been that long, the past 8 weeks have been a fatigue-clouded blur. I think I'm finally starting to come out of it though, both kids nap at the same time in the afternoon, and Brandon is now only up once a night to eat. Which is a HUGE difference from 2-4 times that he had been doing. He's been treated for reflux, which has helped him SO much. He's sleeping better, and we're working on sleep-training and teaching him how to fall asleep on his own. It's a process, but we're doing the same things we did with our older boy, who is now a terrific sleeper (for the most part, except when he's teething).

The first months really are the hardest. It's starting to get better now that we're all settling into a bit of a routine again. Being a single mom for 3-5 days a week is hard, but I'm managing.

Ugh, one is screaming now........... gotta go.

[kellwolf]

Out of curiosity, how did you guys handle the reflux? We think Gavin might have it since he starts screaming and balling up about 10-15 minutes after he eats. I envy the once a night feedings. Gav is still on the 4 time schedule......

[ready2fly]

Our son had a bout with it too. We had him on Emphamil (sp?) and switched to Nestle's Good Start and it worked out perfectly.

Try switching formulas. Worked for us.

[kellwolf]

Um, he's breastfeeding, so switching formulas might not work. It's the same out of both sides.

[I_Money]

[ QUOTE ]
Um, he's breastfeeding, so switching formulas might not work. It's the same out of both sides.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know there is a joke in there somewhere, not sure where though!

[jtrain609]

A note about reflux your doctors may or may not know about.

I was born with a hurnia in my throat. Not a hole, but a bubble right above my stomach. It causes food to get stuck in there, and acid reflux disease usually comes with it. Around 2000 allergists started to put together that a large amount of their male patients with asthma also had hiatal hernias. Turns out when you puke a ton as a baby (like you do when you have this hurnia and/or acid reflux disease) some of the puke can get into your lungs. That's what caused my asthma and the asthma of many other kids. Thankfully doctors know about it now, but my allergist is big into treating kids extemely early on when they develop this problem. Fixing the reflux and tending to a possible hurnia can save you boatloads of trouble down the road. For me it would have prevented my asthma and probably most of my allergy's (the allergy's trigger the asthma, so instead of getting hives when I'm around a cat I just stop breathing).

Something to really look for is when the father had a hiatal hurnia. Most dudes don't even know they have it though. My father had one for over 50 years (your born with it) before he knew, and I actually got diagnosed first (then they looked down his throat and found the same thing). If you or your dude has problems swallowing, finding that at times food won't go down all the way for a few minutes he might have a hurnia (it's not prevalent in women, nor is it passed by women).

Anyways, just figured I'd let ya'll know. You folks can save your kids a lifetime of health problems just by getting this looked at. The only reason I mention it is in my experience doctors only know about what they specialize in. I.E. A heart doctor won't have a clue about kidney stones. Sure he went through medical school, but if you're not dealing with it on a daily basis you tend to not really know much about other areas of medacine. Kind of like being typed on an MD-88 and then being asked about systems on a 737. You'd look at the person like they were crazy asking you those questions because they have nothing to do with your job.

[kellwolf]

I actually thought about that knowing your story, John. Gavin's not really puking a lot, just the normal amount of spit up (at least I guess it's normal). The other thing we think it might be is just gas, but other than Mylicon over the counter, there's not much we can do about that.

[MQAAord]

[ QUOTE ]
Out of curiosity, how did you guys handle the reflux? We think Gavin might have it since he starts screaming and balling up about 10-15 minutes after he eats. I envy the once a night feedings. Gav is still on the 4 time schedule......

[/ QUOTE ]

My reasons for going to the ped with concerns about reflux:
-Getting VERY angry when he'd spit up
-Spit up would wake him from a sound sleep screaming
-Having him sleep on an incline helped (we put a pillow under the crib matress)

We went to the doc, and he was checked out for other conditions/causes of the irritation. The ped gave us a prescription for baby Xantac. It's worked wonders. He still spits up, so did Alex, for 11 long months, but it no longer makes him angry & upset. Also right away see if sleeping on an incline helps.

Call your ped, get him checked out. It can only help!

[MQAAord]

Also, have you noticed any correlation between Gavin's being upset after eating and specific foods Nessa has eaten? Some babies are upset by their moms eating garlic, or hot/spicy foods.

Just a thought........

[kellwolf]

Yeah, Chinese is right out for her apparently. He does sleep better on an incline than laying flat. We've got a papasan and a papasan swing that he sleeps like.....well, a baby, in until he's hungry again. We can't get him to sleep in his crib to save our lives. Most nights he winds up sleeping on Nessa's chest. He also sleeps better on his stomach (supervised on his stomach at ALL times) than he does on his back. Although, when (not if) he spits up, he generally doesn't look to be in pain. In fact, there's a hint of a smile when he manages to hit me or Nessa with it.....

[MQAAord]

Some babies just sleep better on thier tummies. When my brother and I were babies, it was told to parents to put babies to sleep on their stomachs. Now, obviously, the recommendation is on their backs. I do know of parents who, after months of no-sleeping-baby, just gave up and let the baby sleep on it's tummy. The risk of SIDS decreases with every month that passes, and it was either tummy sleep, or NO sleep!

Try putting a pillow under the crib mattress. Not having baby sleep on the pillow, but put the pillow under one end of the actual matress. That's what's given Brandon the incline he needs in his crib, and he's done much better with the pillow than without.

It can't hurt to talk to the ped about reflux, it may or may not be, but s/he'll be able to ask you questions & determine if it is indeed reflux. That baby Xantac has made such a difference for us though. I'm so glad I took him in,


We have the baby papasan too. Love it!

[Kristie]

[ QUOTE ]
we're working on sleep-training and teaching him how to fall asleep on his own. It's a process, but we're doing the same things we did with our older boy, who is now a terrific sleeper (for the most part, except when he's teething).

[/ QUOTE ]sleep training? please do tell! my sister's having a problem getting the 6 mo old to nap! i dunno if she's done anything like that before.

[MQAAord]

What we do is put baby to bed when sleepy. When they're fed, diapered & it's time for bed baby goes in the crib, gets tucked in & the music from the mobil or Ocean Wonders Aquarium turned on. I tell him "goodnight, I love you!" and then I leave. Sometimes he falls asleep right away, sometimes he doesn't. When he doesn't I don't let him cry it out just yet, at two months he's not old enough for that. But if he starts crying I'll go back in there and rock him for a little bit, then put him back. Continue til baby sleeps. If he's not crying though, I leave him be. Sometimes he'll talk to his mobil and have some 'quiet alone time'.

Sounds easy written down, but it takes a lot of time & patience. As baby gets older, you can let them cry longer, and go longer intervals between parental 'visits'. Eventually they'll learn to fall asleep on their own, and when they wake in the night to go back to sleep.

It worked great for our older boy. He goes down for his nap & bedtime with no issues. When he was teething he'd wake up in the night and cry, but that's cause he was in pain and needed some orajel or tylenol!

Hope your sis finds something that works, non-sleeping babies are tough. Our first was a HORRIBLE cat-napper (he'd sleep for maybe 30-40 minutes at a time all day long ). Brandon wants to be held while he sleeps, which with a toddler to care for too, just doesn't work. So he gets put in his crib when sleepy, and he's learning the crib/bassinette is the place to sleep.

[kellwolf]

Worst of both worlds with Gavin. He cat naps just like you described AND wants to be held all the time. Then again, he's only 5 weeks old. We're planning on trying out the sleep training thing in a few more weeks.

BTW, called the ped today since Gavin was crying and nursing almost non-stop this morning, and he told Nessa to try eliminating some stuff from her diet (diary, so she's upset since she's a milk fiend) and possibly suplementing with formula since there's a possibility she might now be producing enough milk. Gonna give that a try.

[MQAAord]

[ QUOTE ]
Worst of both worlds with Gavin. He cat naps just like you described AND wants to be held all the time. Then again, he's only 5 weeks old. We're planning on trying out the sleep training thing in a few more weeks.


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, it's tough in those early weeks!

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, called the ped today since Gavin was crying and nursing almost non-stop this morning, and he told Nessa to try eliminating some stuff from her diet (diary, so she's upset since she's a milk fiend) and possibly suplementing with formula since there's a possibility she might now be producing enough milk. Gonna give that a try.


[/ QUOTE ]

Good advice. Please tell her not to feel bad if supplementing is necessary! Some women get very upset, and feel like they're not adequate mothers if they're not 'producing' enough.

(I'm one of those sinful formula-feeding mommies, both mine were formula from day 1.)

[I_Money]

[ QUOTE ]
As baby gets older, you can let them cry longer

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, my parents say now I am 21...............

[kellwolf]

[ QUOTE ]
Please tell her not to feel bad if supplementing is necessary! Some women get very upset, and feel like they're not adequate mothers if they're not 'producing' enough.


[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, we had that conversation earlier today, and she's feeling much better about it now.

[ready2fly]

[ QUOTE ]
Sometimes he'll talk to his mobil and have some 'quiet alone time'.


[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, Brendan will do that too. It's kinda funny if you sit and listen. He'll lay in there and laugh and coo and giggle....just by staring at the spinny thing over his head......

.....when I do that, my wife calls me an alcoholic.



kidding

[kellwolf]

It'll be nice when Gavin finally starts making noises other than WAAAAAAAHHHH! Until then, I may BECOME an alcoholic. I might even have to get this shirt.

[TheWife]

Supplementing w/ formula will actually reduce her supply but it will fill baby up longer. Milk production works on a supply and demand basis. If it's not demanded, the supply won't continue. Breast fed babies don't stay full for long, they usually eat every 2-3 hours during the day and 3-4 at night for the first 3-4 months, where as formula fed babies usually go about 4 hours during the day and 8-10 hours at night. She may find if she wants to bf, that increasing her caloric intake as well as water intake will increase her supply, as well as nursing more often and pumping if needed. It is not bad or wrong to supplement w/ formula, I ff only, instead of bf, but IMO it is misinformation that the formula will HELP if you want to solve the problem of a low supply.

For the babies that are having a hard time sleeping, swaddling is a HUGE helper for us! Try a swaddle wrap like this one: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...y&n=507846 I own 3 of these, way easier than using a blanket. Until babies get their hand coordination down, they wake often thanks to getting smacked in the face by themselves, and they also are hard to keep sleeping if you've rocked them to sleep and then try to put them down. A tight swaddle will fix that. If baby sleeps better on the tummy, (try the side also) just make sure they are not on a soft surface that could but smooshed up against their nose and mouth.

Around 6 months they can be left to cry it out if needed, that is about the time that they are able to put their own bikis back in, or push buttons on an Aquarium or Soother to help them self comfort. Kyla is really loving her Flutterbye Soother http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...474570-9031906 and Caleb, who is almost 3, still loves he FP Ocean Aquarium.

Hope any of that was helpful. On the bad days, I remind myself that nothing lasts forever. I know it's hard at times, but what true miracles we have been blessed with!

[kellwolf]

Well, on average the "demand" runs about every hour to two hours. She never has time to pump a bottle to store up for someone else to give her a break, and Gavin's still hungry. He actually drained her to the point of being dry last night.

We tried the swaddling thing, but if he can't kick his legs, he gets REALLY mad. I have a tendency to kick the covers off in the middle of the night, so I think he gets that from me.

No letting him "cry it out" right now. We both agree that he's too young for that. Maybe in a couple of months.

On a positive note, WE GOT SLEEP LAST NIGHT! He only woke up twice to eat, so maybe the limited supplementing (4 whopping oz yesterday) seems to work. Then again, it's possible he was having a massive growth spurt, and it's winding down. He's had a good day today, too. Took him to Memphis to see my parents, and took him to the mall. He hasn't been fussy constantly like he has been, and he was awake and looking around most of the time.

[TheWife]

I know bfing advocates will hate me for saying it....but after having done both, with both kids, I am really a big formula fan. It's so much easier to be a mentally healthy and happy parent when you can take turns, only have to do it every 4 hours, they sleep so long at night, and generally seem happier, at least mine have. Plus the poop is a whole lot better lol. So if you just can't get to a good place, and she doesn't want to keep going the way it is now, I hope she knows that it is ok to use formula! I don't know what her experiences have been thus far, but I know a lot of moms who are hysterical with sleep deprivation and are afraid to use formula because of the anti-formula women, I hope that no one has made her feel that way. There are pros and cons of both, for me the formula has more pros.

[kellwolf]

But breast milk is free.

[Doug Taylor]

[ QUOTE ]
But breast milk is free.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, remind me not to eat the cereal if I even drop by for brekkie!

[adreamer]

After reading Kell, Amber and the wife's post, I felt my wife and I were lucky. My babies were well trained at NICU. They are about 3 months old now(6 weeks premature though). Now, We can feeding and change them at 10PM at night. They can sleep till next morning around 6AM. That makes me and my wife behave more human.

Kell, my babies were not always easy to calm down. I put them down in front of fire place(not too close, of course). They spread and pass right out. My wife also put some rice cereal into milk bottles(breast or forumla) for last feeding of the day. Hope it helps.

adreamer