Moment of Clarity

Coney · November 23rd, 2004, 09:30

This morning at about 3:20 a.m., I was rocking our 7-month old son back to sleep after he woke up with ear pain from a mild ear infection. As I sat in the glider (chair -- not plane) in his dark nursery, his eyes finally starting to narrow, he appeared so angelic. It is then that I heard what I believe was a twin-engine of some type flying high over the house. It was a soft and familiar drone. I wondered if the pilots of that plane have families. Then I imagined myself flying that plane at 3:20 a.m., away from my family. That's the life I'm working so hard to achieve, yet last night posed a new perspective. Sure would be lonely, I thought. Does anyone have any insight on this?

mtsu_av8er · November 23rd, 2004, 10:14

[ QUOTE ]
This morning at about 3:20 a.m., I was rocking our 7-month old son back to sleep after he woke up with ear pain from a mild ear infection. As I sat in the glider (chair -- not plane) in his dark nursery, his eyes finally starting to narrow, he appeared so angelic. It is then that I heard what I believe was a twin-engine of some type flying high over the house. It was a soft and familiar drone. I wondered if the pilots of that plane have families. Then I imagined myself flying that plane at 3:20 a.m., away from my family. That's the life I'm working so hard to achieve, yet last night posed a new perspective. Sure would be lonely, I thought. Does anyone have any insight on this?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, that looks like one more person I won't have to fight for that 135 gig...

You know, I do that now....middle-of-the-night flying is my favorite. Everybody at home is asleep, anyway...

Coney · November 23rd, 2004, 10:53

You don't have me out of the way just yet. I still have my eyes on the prize. I suppose I just have a concern about being an absentee dad -- probably typical "new dad" stuff. By the way, I love flying at night, also.

mtsu_av8er · November 23rd, 2004, 11:09

I've never been an airline pilot, but I was in the military for 8 years. Let's just say that when you're in a deploying infantry unit, you're probably away from home far more than you are when you're an airline pilot.

I've seen 1000 marriage fail for every 10 that work. I had a pretty independant wife, and ours worked through the deployments and days and week in the field just fine.

If you have a bug-a-boo, or you are one, it'll never work.

Sorry to put it so bluntly...lol.

TheWife · November 23rd, 2004, 11:19

I think the best kind of dad is a happy one, one that is doing something he loves to earn a living. If you are a miserable grouchy 9-5 worker that daydreams of flying all day, you won't be any better of a father than one who is gone for a few days at a time. JMO.

mtsu_av8er · November 23rd, 2004, 11:28

[ QUOTE ]
I think the best kind of dad is a happy one, one that is doing something he loves to earn a living. If you are a miserable grouchy 9-5 worker that daydreams of flying all day, you won't be any better of a father than one who is gone for a few days at a time. JMO.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow...well said!!

Mr_Creepy · November 23rd, 2004, 16:34

Being home with my family makes me happy

MQAAord · November 23rd, 2004, 21:09

[ QUOTE ]
I think the best kind of dad is a happy one, one that is doing something he loves to earn a living. If you are a miserable grouchy 9-5 worker that daydreams of flying all day, you won't be any better of a father than one who is gone for a few days at a time. JMO.

[/ QUOTE ]

Couldn't agree more.

I knew darn well what I was signing up for when I married Bill. I knew he'd be gone often, I knew I would be somewhat of a single mother. I'm fine with that. Bill is living the dream he'd had ever since he was little, and I wouldn't ever dream of doing anything to take that away. He misses the baby when he's gone, but that's the life. You deal with it & get used to it.

bap327 · November 23rd, 2004, 23:40

Well, I have to step in on this one...I was in the Marine Corps for 11 years....was a police officer for 5 years and worked 100+ hours a week....walked away after my partner died because I always wanted to be a pilot. And last night at 0230, my wife, who is 20 weeks tells me to put my hands on her belly and I feel the baby kick for the first time. What a crazy feeling that puts everything in perspective.

I want more than anything to fly the big jets but after last night, I also can't wait to be home for all of this...maybe I am crazy but I think I can make being a CFI work.

mtsu_av8er · November 24th, 2004, 00:29

There's two jobs...I'm getting closer by the hour!!!

kellwolf · November 24th, 2004, 21:27

[ QUOTE ]
who is 20 weeks tells me to put my hands on her belly and I feel the baby kick for the first time

[/ QUOTE ]

First off, when is the due date? Your wife and mine are almost neck and neck. Second, that is kind of an intense moment when you feel the kid kick for the first time. We'll be watching a movie, and I'll hear "OOF!" from across the room. Just means that Nessa took a kick to the midsection from the inside.

[ QUOTE ]
I want more than anything to fly the big jets but after last night, I also can't wait to be home for all of this...maybe I am crazy but I think I can make being a CFI work.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. This is being discussed at great length right now. We've pretty much come to the conclusion that while I enjoy teaching (and therefore would probably enjoy CFIing), neither of us believe I would be happy doing it indefinately. So, I'm looking at CFIing until I get the hours to fly something bigger full time. The compromise of me being away is that if I miss a birthday or xmas, then we just have two. One on the actual day, and one when I get back.

Coney · November 24th, 2004, 22:10

Hey, mtsu, your avatar choice says everything I need to know.

mtsu_av8er · November 25th, 2004, 00:59

[ QUOTE ]
Hey, mtsu, your avatar choice says everything I need to know.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, Bro...I've been there and done that...got the T-Shirt!!!

Wait till you have to deal with those damned wiggles!!!

I started early so they could be out of the house while I'm still young!!

Windchill · November 25th, 2004, 02:08

[ QUOTE ]
I started early so they could be out of the house while I'm still young!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll be in that same boat ... 22 (not much longer though) and the first one is on the way.

I would like to have enjoyed more free time with the wife before children, but I know everything will work out ... such a precious gift.

"We can't wait for them to take their first steps and say their first word, only to spend the rest of your time telling them to sit down and shut up" -- Anonymous

mtsu_av8er · November 25th, 2004, 02:10

[ QUOTE ]

"We can't wait for them to take their first steps and say their first word, only to spend the rest of your time telling them to sit down and shut up" -- Anonymous

[/ QUOTE ]

Ain't that the truth!!!!

bap327 · November 26th, 2004, 12:59

kellwolf, we are having the big "c" so our due date right now is set for the 14th of April...we want to try and kick it back a week so baby and mom have the same b-day though.

I hope to have the CFI's done by the end of Jan and just hope that I can get something going shortly after that. I know that it will be tough but I have total support from my bride so that makes it easier.

Skeeter · November 26th, 2004, 14:58

coney,
I understand where you are coming from. Since Eden was born (3mos), I've been having the same thoughts in a couple areas in my life. There are a few ways to look at it. A few of which have been listed above. My take is that now I have to do what is best for her. Period. No if ands or buts. Being a pilot may or may not be what is best for you. It all depends on what your situation is. I know it kills me to see the 740PM Fed Ex DC10 fly over my house every day and wishing I was in the cockpit. Additionally, I question whether it's the right thing to do for her and my wife to give up a great paying job to pursue a dream. I struggle with it everyday. I know the saying of sometimes you just have to jump in but when you're responsible for such an incredible thing like a life, it puts it into a different perspective for me. Just my take on it.

Scott

kellwolf · November 26th, 2004, 21:01

[ QUOTE ]
kellwolf, we are having the big "c" so our due date right now is set for the 14th of April...we want to try and kick it back a week so baby and mom have the same b-day though

[/ QUOTE ]

Our due date is April 1st. Yeah, I know. Laugh all ya want.

We're buying all this boy stuff, and then we think "Yeah, April 1st it'll be a girl."

[ QUOTE ]
I know that it will be tough but I have total support from my bride so that makes it easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ain't that the truth. I was discussing with her the other day how lucky I was to find someone that will back me 100% in this crazy job.

MQAAord · November 26th, 2004, 21:32

The tech at our big ultrasound a couple weeks ago could only give us a 90% probability that little baby is going to be a boy.

He didn't want to show us 'the goods', and even after much prodding the verdcit was only 90% guaranteed. Watch we end up with a girl!

At least we won't have spent any extra money buying boy things. Little baby (if he is, indeed a boy) will get to wear all of our first baby's clothes! Saving much needed money!

mtsu_av8er · November 26th, 2004, 21:53

[ QUOTE ]

Our due date is April 1st. Yeah, I know. Laugh all ya want.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey...that's a good birthday!!

ready2fly · November 27th, 2004, 15:44

[ QUOTE ]
Wait till you have to deal with those damned wiggles!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
Somethin' kind of EEEEEEWWWW! `bout dem "boys".

I hope to keep the fruit of my loins..... the Spawn of Stan (

) the hell AWAY from the big purple dino, teletubbies and ambiguosly gay quartets.

kellwolf · November 27th, 2004, 16:41

[ QUOTE ]
the hell AWAY from the big purple dino, teletubbies and ambiguosly gay quartets.

[/ QUOTE ]

We're going the Baby Einstein, LeapFrog, etc route. Not sure about TV yet, but Seasame Street worked for me. Then again, I remember when only Big Bird could se Mr Snuffalupagus and Elmo was a background character (i.e. a red Grover).

MQAAord · November 27th, 2004, 20:58

Baby Einstein & Leapfrog are Da Bomb!

We've got several toys of each brand, and they are our baby's favorites.

sm203900 · December 17th, 2004, 01:56

flying is one of the toughest jobs out there, you come to a point in your life, when you wonder whether or not it is worth it. There are people at both ends of the spectrum that are happy. But when it gets to the niddy gritty, it no longer is a question of whether or not your career choices are the best thing for you, but whether it is the best thing for those that you have introduced to the world around you. Aviation is hard, and i think at a certain point you have to make the decision to go for your dream, or to settle down and sacrifice for your children...There is no right decison, but what you think is the right decision for the little one that you have to teach their life path too, they are born into a world that is not up to them, so you have to go through and analyze what is the best course for them, regardless of whether it goes hand and hand with what you are looking for...Those are just my two cents understanding what you are saying and what the future holds

IT_Pilot · March 1st, 2005, 23:38

I'm reminded of my dad who was a general surgeon until he retired a few years ago. While he was never away for days at a time when his job called he had to go. You really cant tell someone with a ruptured appendix to wait until 7am in the morning to have surgery.
There would be many times things got missed or he had to leave early due to getting called in to the hospital. Fortuantely my mom was very supportive of him.
Looking back on it we never thought it was odd. Inconvenient it was but this was the life of a doctor. Most importantly though was that when he was there he was there.

I work in IT now and there are nights you are in until the problem is fixed. I guess its what you make of it is my point. Go fly and take care.

November 23rd, 2004, 09:30	#1
Coney Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: 3T5 Posts: 256	Moment of Clarity This morning at about 3:20 a.m., I was rocking our 7-month old son back to sleep after he woke up with ear pain from a mild ear infection. As I sat in the glider (chair -- not plane) in his dark nursery, his eyes finally starting to narrow, he appeared so angelic. It is then that I heard what I believe was a twin-engine of some type flying high over the house. It was a soft and familiar drone. I wondered if the pilots of that plane have families. Then I imagined myself flying that plane at 3:20 a.m., away from my family. That's the life I'm working so hard to achieve, yet last night posed a new perspective. Sure would be lonely, I thought. Does anyone have any insight on this?

November 23rd, 2004, 10:14	#2
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] This morning at about 3:20 a.m., I was rocking our 7-month old son back to sleep after he woke up with ear pain from a mild ear infection. As I sat in the glider (chair -- not plane) in his dark nursery, his eyes finally starting to narrow, he appeared so angelic. It is then that I heard what I believe was a twin-engine of some type flying high over the house. It was a soft and familiar drone. I wondered if the pilots of that plane have families. Then I imagined myself flying that plane at 3:20 a.m., away from my family. That's the life I'm working so hard to achieve, yet last night posed a new perspective. Sure would be lonely, I thought. Does anyone have any insight on this? [/ QUOTE ] Well, that looks like one more person I won't have to fight for that 135 gig... You know, I do that now....middle-of-the-night flying is my favorite. Everybody at home is asleep, anyway...

November 23rd, 2004, 10:53	#3
Coney Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: 3T5 Posts: 256	Re: Moment of Clarity You don't have me out of the way just yet. I still have my eyes on the prize. I suppose I just have a concern about being an absentee dad -- probably typical "new dad" stuff. By the way, I love flying at night, also.

November 23rd, 2004, 11:09	#4
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity I've never been an airline pilot, but I was in the military for 8 years. Let's just say that when you're in a deploying infantry unit, you're probably away from home far more than you are when you're an airline pilot. I've seen 1000 marriage fail for every 10 that work. I had a pretty independant wife, and ours worked through the deployments and days and week in the field just fine. If you have a bug-a-boo, or you are one, it'll never work. Sorry to put it so bluntly...lol.

November 23rd, 2004, 11:19	#5
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,180	Re: Moment of Clarity I think the best kind of dad is a happy one, one that is doing something he loves to earn a living. If you are a miserable grouchy 9-5 worker that daydreams of flying all day, you won't be any better of a father than one who is gone for a few days at a time. JMO.

November 23rd, 2004, 11:28	#6
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] I think the best kind of dad is a happy one, one that is doing something he loves to earn a living. If you are a miserable grouchy 9-5 worker that daydreams of flying all day, you won't be any better of a father than one who is gone for a few days at a time. JMO. [/ QUOTE ] Wow...well said!!

November 23rd, 2004, 16:34	#7
Mr_Creepy Old Skool Join Date: May 2003 Location: In the O-zone Posts: 5,807	Re: Moment of Clarity Being home with my family makes me happy

November 23rd, 2004, 21:09	#8
MQAAord Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Looney Bin Posts: 8,813	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] I think the best kind of dad is a happy one, one that is doing something he loves to earn a living. If you are a miserable grouchy 9-5 worker that daydreams of flying all day, you won't be any better of a father than one who is gone for a few days at a time. JMO. [/ QUOTE ] Couldn't agree more. I knew darn well what I was signing up for when I married Bill. I knew he'd be gone often, I knew I would be somewhat of a single mother. I'm fine with that. Bill is living the dream he'd had ever since he was little, and I wouldn't ever dream of doing anything to take that away. He misses the baby when he's gone, but that's the life. You deal with it & get used to it.

November 23rd, 2004, 23:40	#9
bap327 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: BOSTON Posts: 443	Re: Moment of Clarity Well, I have to step in on this one...I was in the Marine Corps for 11 years....was a police officer for 5 years and worked 100+ hours a week....walked away after my partner died because I always wanted to be a pilot. And last night at 0230, my wife, who is 20 weeks tells me to put my hands on her belly and I feel the baby kick for the first time. What a crazy feeling that puts everything in perspective. I want more than anything to fly the big jets but after last night, I also can't wait to be home for all of this...maybe I am crazy but I think I can make being a CFI work.

November 24th, 2004, 00:29	#10
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity There's two jobs...I'm getting closer by the hour!!!

November 24th, 2004, 21:27	#11
kellwolf Old Skool Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Memphis, TN Posts: 13,252	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] who is 20 weeks tells me to put my hands on her belly and I feel the baby kick for the first time [/ QUOTE ] First off, when is the due date? Your wife and mine are almost neck and neck. Second, that is kind of an intense moment when you feel the kid kick for the first time. We'll be watching a movie, and I'll hear "OOF!" from across the room. Just means that Nessa took a kick to the midsection from the inside. [ QUOTE ] I want more than anything to fly the big jets but after last night, I also can't wait to be home for all of this...maybe I am crazy but I think I can make being a CFI work. [/ QUOTE ] Yep. This is being discussed at great length right now. We've pretty much come to the conclusion that while I enjoy teaching (and therefore would probably enjoy CFIing), neither of us believe I would be happy doing it indefinately. So, I'm looking at CFIing until I get the hours to fly something bigger full time. The compromise of me being away is that if I miss a birthday or xmas, then we just have two. One on the actual day, and one when I get back.

November 24th, 2004, 22:10	#12
Coney Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: 3T5 Posts: 256	Re: Moment of Clarity Hey, mtsu, your avatar choice says everything I need to know.

November 25th, 2004, 00:59	#13
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] Hey, mtsu, your avatar choice says everything I need to know. [/ QUOTE ] Hey, Bro...I've been there and done that...got the T-Shirt!!! Wait till you have to deal with those damned wiggles!!! I started early so they could be out of the house while I'm still young!!

November 25th, 2004, 02:08	#14
Windchill Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Mid-Atlantic, KMRB Posts: 1,925	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] I started early so they could be out of the house while I'm still young!! [/ QUOTE ] I'll be in that same boat ... 22 (not much longer though) and the first one is on the way. I would like to have enjoyed more free time with the wife before children, but I know everything will work out ... such a precious gift. "We can't wait for them to take their first steps and say their first word, only to spend the rest of your time telling them to sit down and shut up" -- Anonymous

November 25th, 2004, 02:10	#15
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] "We can't wait for them to take their first steps and say their first word, only to spend the rest of your time telling them to sit down and shut up" -- Anonymous [/ QUOTE ] Ain't that the truth!!!!

November 26th, 2004, 12:59	#16
bap327 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: BOSTON Posts: 443	Re: Moment of Clarity kellwolf, we are having the big "c" so our due date right now is set for the 14th of April...we want to try and kick it back a week so baby and mom have the same b-day though. I hope to have the CFI's done by the end of Jan and just hope that I can get something going shortly after that. I know that it will be tough but I have total support from my bride so that makes it easier.

November 26th, 2004, 14:58	#17
Skeeter Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Sacto, CA Posts: 100	Re: Moment of Clarity coney, I understand where you are coming from. Since Eden was born (3mos), I've been having the same thoughts in a couple areas in my life. There are a few ways to look at it. A few of which have been listed above. My take is that now I have to do what is best for her. Period. No if ands or buts. Being a pilot may or may not be what is best for you. It all depends on what your situation is. I know it kills me to see the 740PM Fed Ex DC10 fly over my house every day and wishing I was in the cockpit. Additionally, I question whether it's the right thing to do for her and my wife to give up a great paying job to pursue a dream. I struggle with it everyday. I know the saying of sometimes you just have to jump in but when you're responsible for such an incredible thing like a life, it puts it into a different perspective for me. Just my take on it. Scott

November 26th, 2004, 21:01	#18
kellwolf Old Skool Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Memphis, TN Posts: 13,252	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] kellwolf, we are having the big "c" so our due date right now is set for the 14th of April...we want to try and kick it back a week so baby and mom have the same b-day though [/ QUOTE ] Our due date is April 1st. Yeah, I know. Laugh all ya want. We're buying all this boy stuff, and then we think "Yeah, April 1st it'll be a girl." [ QUOTE ] I know that it will be tough but I have total support from my bride so that makes it easier. [/ QUOTE ] Ain't that the truth. I was discussing with her the other day how lucky I was to find someone that will back me 100% in this crazy job.

November 26th, 2004, 21:32	#19
MQAAord Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Looney Bin Posts: 8,813	Re: Moment of Clarity The tech at our big ultrasound a couple weeks ago could only give us a 90% probability that little baby is going to be a boy. He didn't want to show us 'the goods', and even after much prodding the verdcit was only 90% guaranteed. Watch we end up with a girl! At least we won't have spent any extra money buying boy things. Little baby (if he is, indeed a boy) will get to wear all of our first baby's clothes! Saving much needed money!

November 26th, 2004, 21:53	#20
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,403	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] Our due date is April 1st. Yeah, I know. Laugh all ya want. [/ QUOTE ] Hey...that's a good birthday!!

November 27th, 2004, 15:44	#21
ready2fly Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: DFW Posts: 7,080	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] Wait till you have to deal with those damned wiggles!!! [/ QUOTE ] Somethin' kind of EEEEEEWWWW! `bout dem "boys". I hope to keep the fruit of my loins..... the Spawn of Stan ( ) the hell AWAY from the big purple dino, teletubbies and ambiguosly gay quartets.

November 27th, 2004, 16:41	#22
kellwolf Old Skool Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Memphis, TN Posts: 13,252	Re: Moment of Clarity [ QUOTE ] the hell AWAY from the big purple dino, teletubbies and ambiguosly gay quartets. [/ QUOTE ] We're going the Baby Einstein, LeapFrog, etc route. Not sure about TV yet, but Seasame Street worked for me. Then again, I remember when only Big Bird could se Mr Snuffalupagus and Elmo was a background character (i.e. a red Grover).

November 27th, 2004, 20:58	#23
MQAAord Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Looney Bin Posts: 8,813	Re: Moment of Clarity Baby Einstein & Leapfrog are Da Bomb! We've got several toys of each brand, and they are our baby's favorites.

December 17th, 2004, 01:56	#24
sm203900 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: somwhere over the rainbow Posts: 98	Re: Moment of Clarity flying is one of the toughest jobs out there, you come to a point in your life, when you wonder whether or not it is worth it. There are people at both ends of the spectrum that are happy. But when it gets to the niddy gritty, it no longer is a question of whether or not your career choices are the best thing for you, but whether it is the best thing for those that you have introduced to the world around you. Aviation is hard, and i think at a certain point you have to make the decision to go for your dream, or to settle down and sacrifice for your children...There is no right decison, but what you think is the right decision for the little one that you have to teach their life path too, they are born into a world that is not up to them, so you have to go through and analyze what is the best course for them, regardless of whether it goes hand and hand with what you are looking for...Those are just my two cents understanding what you are saying and what the future holds

March 1st, 2005, 23:38	#25
IT_Pilot Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Baltimore, MD Posts: 131	Re: Moment of Clarity I'm reminded of my dad who was a general surgeon until he retired a few years ago. While he was never away for days at a time when his job called he had to go. You really cant tell someone with a ruptured appendix to wait until 7am in the morning to have surgery. There would be many times things got missed or he had to leave early due to getting called in to the hospital. Fortuantely my mom was very supportive of him. Looking back on it we never thought it was odd. Inconvenient it was but this was the life of a doctor. Most importantly though was that when he was there he was there. I work in IT now and there are nights you are in until the problem is fixed. I guess its what you make of it is my point. Go fly and take care.

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