Getting Married and flying

CrazyJ · August 14th, 2004, 17:23

This is my first post and I love the site.
I'm getting married in a year and my fiancee knows my dream of being a professional pilot. I am about halfway to my PPL and getting ready to graduate college in Dec.
I just wanted to know if anyone here was married before becoming a pilot or going into training. My fiancee is very supportive but is just afraid of me being away a lot.
I'm waiting a few years to get the ATP and ME ratings but I would like to hear from anyone in my situation or a similar one.

-Jason-

TheWife · August 14th, 2004, 18:58

My husband had done some flying when we got married, but hadn't yet got his PPL. Since we've been married, 5 years, he's is just barely getting his commercial. My advice I guess would be get the training over as soon as possible, stay on top of it as much as you can, don't drag it out, get it over with. Maybe some don't agree, but I wish this wasn't taking so long. He didn't take advantage of the time he had pre-children, and now, well everything just takes longer.

Bandit_Driver · August 15th, 2004, 10:30

I was a CFII when my wife and started dating and continue dating while I was freight pilot (got married while flying boxes) and I am now with an airline (4 years later).

Your wife has to be very supportive of your career. It is a long haul if you both aren't dedicated to your goals you will never make it. Below is an example of my career progression:

Graduated with CFII in 1999
Hired in 2000 as CFII and flew as a charter FO part time
Hired in 2001 as Freight Copilot (weeks before 911)
2003 Still flying freight
Dec 2003 hired at airline

PAY as CFI is about 8000+ /year
Freight Pay is about 19k - 25K / year
Airline pay Starts about 20K/ year

While this has been a struggle at times getting the airline job was well worth the wait. The only thing I would do different would be to get married sooner. I put off getting married too long because of my career.

Hope this helps

MikeD · August 15th, 2004, 11:54

[ QUOTE ]
My fiancee is very supportive but is just afraid of me being away a lot.
I'm waiting a few years to get the ATP and ME ratings but I would like to hear from anyone in my situation or a similar one.

-Jason-

[/ QUOTE ]

What's she afraid of?

TheWife · August 15th, 2004, 16:11

Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children. Or that I will stranded some where or have an emergency and not have him there to help and support me. Or that I will find a really ugly hairy spider that wants to eat me and can't be killed with Woolite foam like little spiders. And I just don't like sleeping alone. Never have. Corbin used to stay in my bed till I fell asleep even before we were married cause if he didn't, I would just sit there and listen to all the house noises and freak out. Yeah, I have issues, that's what I need Corbin there for. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Maybe his fiance has similar feelings??

Kristie · August 15th, 2004, 17:54

honestly, I still have those same issues... I have a body pillow and 3 cats to keep me company - but I sure would like a dog that could give me a little more protective sense... we have lots of windows in the house and sometimes, that freaks me out too...but after a while, you get used to it.. and before you know it, your the one that changes the lightbulbs, calls the garagedoor repairman and is the fixer-uper for the home etc....

oh, I also never answer the front door when doug's not home unless I know who it is out there and if it's dark, I just pretend nobody's home!

usually the first night doug's gone, i have a hard time sleeping and will sometimes sleep with the lights on - lately, i've been working so hard that i'm "out" by the time I turn on my "sleep music" and my head hits the pillow...

the thing about getting married before you finish training is that marriage typically (didn't happen with me and doug cuz we decided to wait) puts more stress on the relationship and when your trying to balance career with relationship, it has a harder time and adds more issues... the thing to stress to your fiance would be that the marriage is going to be #2 on the priority list until you finish training... if that's not going to fly, then i'd say hold off and get your career completed first, then add in the family dimension.

but that's just my 0.02 words worth.. i've just seen a lot of marriages fail in the early stages because of training, being gone all the time, the marriage not being #1, kids getting into the mix etc etc....it depends on whether both parties really understand what needs to happen to make it work!

mtsu_av8er · August 16th, 2004, 03:06

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just get a pocket knife....

ready2fly · August 16th, 2004, 10:14

[ QUOTE ]
I just wanted to know if anyone here was married before becoming a pilot or going into training.

[/ QUOTE ]
I decided I wanted to pursue a career in aviation just prior to getting married. I started flying just after tying the knot.

I can honestly say that I would not be where I am now (Commercial SEL/MEL and about to wrap up my initial CFI) without the support of my wife!!

Now, by "support" that doesn't mean she'll fly with me... or anyone else in a "small plane." [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Best of luck! Keep us posted.

R2F

TheWife · August 16th, 2004, 11:51

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just get a pocket knife....

[/ QUOTE ]

I am so picked on... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif[/img]

mtsu_av8er · August 16th, 2004, 12:12

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just get a pocket knife....

[/ QUOTE ]

I am so picked on... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!!

TheWife · August 16th, 2004, 12:14

That's exactly what I was thinking....you guys have cured me of wanting to have a brother. Who needs a brother when I can just come online and get picked on? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Doug Taylor · August 16th, 2004, 12:16

[ QUOTE ]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, here we go, it's "Diff'rent Strokes" with Lloyd as Todd Bridges and Michelle as Dana Plato!

Betabry · August 16th, 2004, 13:21

and your avatar does look a little like Arnold and his "whuchoo talkin bout Willis" face

cargopusher · August 16th, 2004, 21:24

When my husband was an FE, and traveling, I would ALWAYS hear creaking or something in the front room of the house at least once while he was away on a trip. And if I heard a noise in the basement, well, you never go down there and look!!!

mtsu_av8er · August 17th, 2004, 01:15

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, here we go, it's "Diff'rent Strokes" with Lloyd as Todd Bridges and Michelle as Dana Plato!

[/ QUOTE ]

Doh!! Does that mean I have to snort coke and rob corner stores??

CrazyJ · August 17th, 2004, 19:34

Thanks for all the help. My little lady is pretty much OK w/ me flying now that she and I visited an airline captain friend of mine. He and his wife have been together for 30 years or so and have survived everything the industry could throw at them. I think the main point is that if you are truly in love then the career won't get in the way.
-Jason-

Kristie · August 18th, 2004, 02:29

and don't forget that best friends part.. that's also very important!!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

jdflight · August 19th, 2004, 11:43

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, here we go, it's "Diff'rent Strokes" with Lloyd as Todd Bridges and Michelle as Dana Plato!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey! You owe me a new laptop. This one now has orange juice all over it!

TheWife · August 20th, 2004, 00:58

I don't even know who those people are but I'll take your word for it that it's funny. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

mtsu_av8er · August 20th, 2004, 01:41

[ QUOTE ]
I don't even know who those people are but I'll take your word for it that it's funny. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

So young.... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Do you remember Dif'frent Strokes?

kellwolf · August 20th, 2004, 01:49

What'choo talkin' 'bout, Lloyd?

CaptainMatt · August 20th, 2004, 01:53

I loved that show.. I'm younger than TheWife and that used to be my most favorite show. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif[/img]

Doug Taylor · August 20th, 2004, 02:05

Wednesday nights on NBC! My favorite show of the time!

It was a good balance of "Good Times" and "Soap" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

How about the spin off, "Facts of Life"? Whoodathunk that George Clooney would be the only survivor from that sitcom? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

sbe · August 20th, 2004, 09:08

Diff'rent Strokes! Loved that show. The 80s had so many great shows. Well, they are probably corny as hell now, but they were great when I was a kid. Who could forget the Dukes of Hazzard? CHiPS? The "A" Team? The Great American Hero? Mork & Mindy, The Love Boat, Dallas, Dynasty, St. Elsewhere, Family Ties, Silver Spoons, Growing Pains...ah the memories of watching the first days of MTV and playing Space Invaders on my Atari.

Back on topic - getting married and flying. Not something I have to worry about anytime soon.

Sarah (recovering from a breakup with her boyfriend of 4 years...)

jdflight · August 20th, 2004, 10:51

"Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could be so free-ee-ee. I'm high as a kite, on a wing and a prayer. Who could it beeee? Believe it or not, it's just me!" I loved that show.

August 15th, 2004, 10:30	#3
Bandit_Driver Old Skool Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DTW Posts: 1,677	Re: Getting Married and flying I was a CFII when my wife and started dating and continue dating while I was freight pilot (got married while flying boxes) and I am now with an airline (4 years later). Your wife has to be very supportive of your career. It is a long haul if you both aren't dedicated to your goals you will never make it. Below is an example of my career progression: Graduated with CFII in 1999 Hired in 2000 as CFII and flew as a charter FO part time Hired in 2001 as Freight Copilot (weeks before 911) 2003 Still flying freight Dec 2003 hired at airline PAY as CFI is about 8000+ /year Freight Pay is about 19k - 25K / year Airline pay Starts about 20K/ year While this has been a struggle at times getting the airline job was well worth the wait. The only thing I would do different would be to get married sooner. I put off getting married too long because of my career. Hope this helps

August 15th, 2004, 11:54	#4
MikeD Administrator Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Pinal Airpark Posts: 6,897	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] My fiancee is very supportive but is just afraid of me being away a lot. I'm waiting a few years to get the ATP and ME ratings but I would like to hear from anyone in my situation or a similar one. -Jason- [/ QUOTE ] What's she afraid of?

August 15th, 2004, 16:11	#5
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,180	Re: Getting Married and flying Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children. Or that I will stranded some where or have an emergency and not have him there to help and support me. Or that I will find a really ugly hairy spider that wants to eat me and can't be killed with Woolite foam like little spiders. And I just don't like sleeping alone. Never have. Corbin used to stay in my bed till I fell asleep even before we were married cause if he didn't, I would just sit there and listen to all the house noises and freak out. Yeah, I have issues, that's what I need Corbin there for. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Maybe his fiance has similar feelings??

August 15th, 2004, 17:54	#6
Kristie Big Chief's Woman Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 17,772 Blog Entries: 3	Re: Getting Married and flying honestly, I still have those same issues... I have a body pillow and 3 cats to keep me company - but I sure would like a dog that could give me a little more protective sense... we have lots of windows in the house and sometimes, that freaks me out too...but after a while, you get used to it.. and before you know it, your the one that changes the lightbulbs, calls the garagedoor repairman and is the fixer-uper for the home etc.... oh, I also never answer the front door when doug's not home unless I know who it is out there and if it's dark, I just pretend nobody's home! usually the first night doug's gone, i have a hard time sleeping and will sometimes sleep with the lights on - lately, i've been working so hard that i'm "out" by the time I turn on my "sleep music" and my head hits the pillow... the thing about getting married before you finish training is that marriage typically (didn't happen with me and doug cuz we decided to wait) puts more stress on the relationship and when your trying to balance career with relationship, it has a harder time and adds more issues... the thing to stress to your fiance would be that the marriage is going to be #2 on the priority list until you finish training... if that's not going to fly, then i'd say hold off and get your career completed first, then add in the family dimension. but that's just my 0.02 words worth.. i've just seen a lot of marriages fail in the early stages because of training, being gone all the time, the marriage not being #1, kids getting into the mix etc etc....it depends on whether both parties really understand what needs to happen to make it work!

August 16th, 2004, 03:06	#7
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,426	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children. [/ QUOTE ] Just get a pocket knife....

August 14th, 2004, 17:23	#1
CrazyJ Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Georgetown Ohio/CVG Posts: 130	Getting Married and flying This is my first post and I love the site. I'm getting married in a year and my fiancee knows my dream of being a professional pilot. I am about halfway to my PPL and getting ready to graduate college in Dec. I just wanted to know if anyone here was married before becoming a pilot or going into training. My fiancee is very supportive but is just afraid of me being away a lot. I'm waiting a few years to get the ATP and ME ratings but I would like to hear from anyone in my situation or a similar one. -Jason-

August 14th, 2004, 18:58	#2
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,180	Re: Getting Married and flying My husband had done some flying when we got married, but hadn't yet got his PPL. Since we've been married, 5 years, he's is just barely getting his commercial. My advice I guess would be get the training over as soon as possible, stay on top of it as much as you can, don't drag it out, get it over with. Maybe some don't agree, but I wish this wasn't taking so long. He didn't take advantage of the time he had pre-children, and now, well everything just takes longer.

August 16th, 2004, 10:14	#8
ready2fly Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: DFW Posts: 7,103	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] I just wanted to know if anyone here was married before becoming a pilot or going into training. [/ QUOTE ] I decided I wanted to pursue a career in aviation just prior to getting married. I started flying just after tying the knot. I can honestly say that I would not be where I am now (Commercial SEL/MEL and about to wrap up my initial CFI) without the support of my wife!! Now, by "support" that doesn't mean she'll fly with me... or anyone else in a "small plane." [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] Best of luck! Keep us posted. R2F

August 16th, 2004, 11:51	#9
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,180	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children. [/ QUOTE ] Just get a pocket knife.... [/ QUOTE ] I am so picked on... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif[/img]

August 16th, 2004, 12:12	#10
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,426	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Maybe she likes him and wants him around?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I don't like the idea of Corbin being gone at night, my fears would be that some one would break into our house and I won't be able to protect myself and my children. [/ QUOTE ] Just get a pocket knife.... [/ QUOTE ] I am so picked on... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!!

August 16th, 2004, 12:14	#11
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,180	Re: Getting Married and flying That's exactly what I was thinking....you guys have cured me of wanting to have a brother. Who needs a brother when I can just come online and get picked on? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

August 16th, 2004, 12:16	#12
Doug Taylor Agent Smith Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: KSDL Posts: 39,931 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!! [/ QUOTE ] Oh, here we go, it's "Diff'rent Strokes" with Lloyd as Todd Bridges and Michelle as Dana Plato!

August 16th, 2004, 13:21	#13
Betabry Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Orlando, Fl Posts: 55	Re: Getting Married and flying and your avatar does look a little like Arnold and his "whuchoo talkin bout Willis" face

August 16th, 2004, 21:24	#14
cargopusher Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: WKRP in Cincinnati Posts: 156	Re: Getting Married and flying When my husband was an FE, and traveling, I would ALWAYS hear creaking or something in the front room of the house at least once while he was away on a trip. And if I heard a noise in the basement, well, you never go down there and look!!!

August 17th, 2004, 01:15	#15
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,426	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!! [/ QUOTE ] Oh, here we go, it's "Diff'rent Strokes" with Lloyd as Todd Bridges and Michelle as Dana Plato! [/ QUOTE ] Doh!! Does that mean I have to snort coke and rob corner stores??

August 17th, 2004, 19:34	#16
CrazyJ Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Georgetown Ohio/CVG Posts: 130	Re: Getting Married and flying Thanks for all the help. My little lady is pretty much OK w/ me flying now that she and I visited an airline captain friend of mine. He and his wife have been together for 30 years or so and have survived everything the industry could throw at them. I think the main point is that if you are truly in love then the career won't get in the way. -Jason-

August 18th, 2004, 02:29	#17
Kristie Big Chief's Woman Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 17,772 Blog Entries: 3	Re: Getting Married and flying and don't forget that best friends part.. that's also very important!!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

August 19th, 2004, 11:43	#18
jdflight Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Boulder, CO (anywhere but Fresno) Posts: 1,477	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You're like my little sister - I have to tease you!!! [/ QUOTE ] Oh, here we go, it's "Diff'rent Strokes" with Lloyd as Todd Bridges and Michelle as Dana Plato! [/ QUOTE ] Hey! You owe me a new laptop. This one now has orange juice all over it!

August 20th, 2004, 00:58	#19
TheWife Old Skool Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Utah Posts: 4,180	Re: Getting Married and flying I don't even know who those people are but I'll take your word for it that it's funny. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

August 20th, 2004, 01:41	#20
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,426	Re: Getting Married and flying [ QUOTE ] I don't even know who those people are but I'll take your word for it that it's funny. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] So young.... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] Do you remember Dif'frent Strokes?

August 20th, 2004, 01:49	#21
kellwolf Old Skool Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Memphis, TN Posts: 13,368	Re: Getting Married and flying What'choo talkin' 'bout, Lloyd?

August 20th, 2004, 01:53	#22
CaptainMatt Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Space Shuttle Posts: 620	Re: Getting Married and flying I loved that show.. I'm younger than TheWife and that used to be my most favorite show. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif[/img]

August 20th, 2004, 02:05	#23
Doug Taylor Agent Smith Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: KSDL Posts: 39,931 Blog Entries: 1	Re: Getting Married and flying Wednesday nights on NBC! My favorite show of the time! It was a good balance of "Good Times" and "Soap" [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] How about the spin off, "Facts of Life"? Whoodathunk that George Clooney would be the only survivor from that sitcom? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

August 20th, 2004, 09:08	#24
sbe Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KC Posts: 540	Re: Getting Married and flying Diff'rent Strokes! Loved that show. The 80s had so many great shows. Well, they are probably corny as hell now, but they were great when I was a kid. Who could forget the Dukes of Hazzard? CHiPS? The "A" Team? The Great American Hero? Mork & Mindy, The Love Boat, Dallas, Dynasty, St. Elsewhere, Family Ties, Silver Spoons, Growing Pains...ah the memories of watching the first days of MTV and playing Space Invaders on my Atari. Back on topic - getting married and flying. Not something I have to worry about anytime soon. Sarah (recovering from a breakup with her boyfriend of 4 years...)

August 20th, 2004, 10:51	#25
jdflight Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Boulder, CO (anywhere but Fresno) Posts: 1,477	Re: Getting Married and flying "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could be so free-ee-ee. I'm high as a kite, on a wing and a prayer. Who could it beeee? Believe it or not, it's just me!" I loved that show.

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