Hey, you weren't supportive anyways..

JC1188 · July 31st, 2004, 13:31

My parents were married 27 years, and now there heading for divorce. My mother sells Real Estate, and my father is a soon-to-be retired Boston Police Officer.

When I use to tell my dad about my dreams to fly for a major airline, he basically told me I wouldn't make it. "Your eyesight, there all former military pilots..etc." I didn't listen to him, and still don't.

My mother is 100% supportive. She takes me to the airport, offers to pay for a lesson here and there, and loves to listen to my goals.

Well, my dad was walked out the front door. Didn't say goodbye, nothing. I really needed him when I currently have two broken feet, and my older sister needs him for a wedding in two months. He just doesn't care.

He won't be there when I solo (about a month), won't be there when I get my PPL, and probably won't be there when I get my first flying job.

This really sucks, and I hope none of you go through this, or have gone through it. You don't want to see your mother crying because she doesn't know what to do..its awful.

Sorry for my rambeling, just needed to let off some steam and talk to someone.

JC

Bandit_Driver · July 31st, 2004, 15:54

JC:

Sorry to hear that. That is truly ashame [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]. I know this may not help much but try and use it as motivation. Just think of how happy your mother will be when you solo and when you get your first job.

Don't give up on your dream. You have take the first steps don't stop now.

Best of luck

EatSleepFly · July 31st, 2004, 20:08

Sorry to hear that man.

A couple years ago, my mom walked out on my dad after 23 years of marriage. I know your situation is the other way around, but it still sucks.

Just hang in there, and make your mom proud. Your dad will be sorry someday.

July 31st, 2004, 21:12

Sorry to hear this JC. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

JC1188 · July 31st, 2004, 21:38

Thanks for the support guys [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

TheShortOne · July 31st, 2004, 23:28

we can be supportive even if your dad isn't. How are the feet doing anyway?

take care

JC1188 · July 31st, 2004, 23:58

Hmm my feet:

lLft one is almost healed, still a little bruising. Right one isn't even close to healed. I got my staples out a week ago, and i get the pins out Aug. 4th. The swelling won't be over with until the end of September though. I'm learning how to walk without a limp now, and I'll be using a cane when school starts up (out of class early [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img])

My new problem is my stomach, I have sharp pains nonstop, I can't eat (I've lost about 20 pounds, down in the 130's), and it basically just sucks.

Hospital tomorrow to see whats up..hope everything goes well..

Tim06 · August 1st, 2004, 14:48

Jeez man, sorry about your parents....I find it so i dont even think wierd is the right word, but about 70% of the kids in my school only live with one parent. Oh and have fun at the hospital, enjoy all that great hospital food [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif[/img]

I_Money · August 1st, 2004, 17:37

Mate - honestly I can not relate to your situation, however people do irrational things under stress, and emotions. I am sure your dad loves you, is proud of you, and wants you to be happy - when things settle down he will regret his actions!!!

Realise this - and do not have the mind set I will make him pay. Life is to short for those silly games!!!

Kristie · August 2nd, 2004, 01:21

Geez JC, sorry to hear about what's going on... much less your feet and tummy hurting! Is it that you have sharp pains when you eat? are the sharp pains on your side or in your tummy area? Can you eat anything at all?

My boss's wife had a problem like that and for a long time, they couldn't find anything wrong... but they did eventually find out what was wrong after weeks and weeks of not being able to eat anything but like those boost and ensure drinks...if the docs don't give you an answer tomorrow, let me know and i'll tell you what they checked on my boss's wife and what they found...

I don't want to list it here in the forum for fear of "hypocondriac" symptoms [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].. KWIM?! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Let us know what happens tomorrow and don't forget you've got your own support network here, when you need us! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

You'll get thru this! like people are saying, use it as your motivation to succeed - your dad's proud of you even if he doesn't say it (don't let anyone tell you different, he's your dad!), he's just got a lot going on right now and needs to work on himself for a while. When he's able to handle things in a better fashion, he'll let you know! but don't hold a grudge because like Iain said, life is just TOO short!

JC1188 · August 2nd, 2004, 15:06

Thanks for the reply, Kristie..

I didn't go to the doctors because the stomach aches basically disappeared..although I have one every now and then when I eat (so yes, i eat, alot). I guess I'll just "ride through the virus," or whatever it is.

Thanks for the support everyone [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

VaughnAir · August 3rd, 2004, 00:32

I am with Iian on this one to a point. Don't let somebody be a part of your life if they will only be a detriment. I live with what I call an added-value system. If a person doesn't add to the quality of my life (or at least not detract from it) they are quickly eliminated. Life is short, It should be fun. Good luck, I am sorry for your predicament.

I_Money · August 3rd, 2004, 01:43

[ QUOTE ]
I am with Iian on this one to a point.

[/ QUOTE ]

Geez mate that is certainly not what I said - I said to understand your dad's tough times, and do not hold comments he said under emotion and stress against him once he has sorted everything out, as he will truely be sorry.

Under stress we all behave a bit unkind - it is the way we are, understand this. I live my life under by 'treat others how you would want to be treated' - follow this rule and you will kick goals!

naunga · August 3rd, 2004, 10:14

I wish I could say I can relate and understand, but I can't.

I can offer you a couple of pearls of wisdom...

Live your life for you. Don't do anything with the goal of making him sorry. If you do you'll just end up getting more and more vengful. Solo for you. Share it with your mother and friends, but don't do it for them.

As a married person I can offer you this: your father's leaving is due to (I'm sure) complex problems with his relationship with your mother. It has nothing to do with you. Understand that, unless he has absolutely no heart, he really is hurting right now. For things to get so bad that he had to leave someone who he loved very deeply and his son he's must be in pain. Perhaps someday he'll explain it all to you, maybe he won't, but know that he loves you.

Finally I truly believe that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. You have a lot of adversity to overcome, but see your life from the end. See yourself healed, see yourself after you've soloed, see yourself after you've passed your checkride. Think about the feelings etc. and think about how you'll be able to look back in amazement at what you overcame and what you accomplished.

I wish you all the best.

Naunga

ready2fly · August 3rd, 2004, 10:25

[ QUOTE ]
I wish I could say I can relate and understand, but I can't.

I can offer you a couple of pearls of wisdom...

Live your life for you.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's really the bottom line. Well said, naunga.

Pretty much my entire life, I've done what I wanted to do the way I wanted to do it, when I wanted to.

Believe me - I've caught a TON of ##### my entire life from friends, family, etc., but on my death bed, I will look back and be glad I did it under my own terms.

Never live for anyone but you. While it is a sad, horrible, and extremely tough time you and your family are going through right now, take a breath and do what's best of you.

Don't begrudge your father right now. Give it time. Let the dust settle - talk to him face to face, eye to eye and man to man, then decide.

Know that you've got our support.

Best of luck!

R2F

VaughnAir · August 3rd, 2004, 19:58

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am with Iian on this one to a point.

[/ QUOTE ]

Geez mate that is certainly not what I said - I said to understand your dad's tough times, and do not hold comments he said under emotion and stress against him once he has sorted everything out, as he will truely be sorry.

Under stress we all behave a bit unkind - it is the way we are, understand this. I live my life under by 'treat others how you would want to be treated' - follow this rule and you will kick goals!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that came out a bit wrong. I agree not to hold his Father's actions against him permanently, but that he also doesn't need to sit and absorb any angst he (the Father) may have.

Sprint100 · August 3rd, 2004, 23:48

Sorry about the situation, but don't let it get you too down. Like every one says, use it as motivation and like John said. When the dust settles, talk to him man to man. That way things can be cleared out and you can really see what his intentions are.

P.S. - Feet are very quick healers so you'll be back up and running and jumping in no time. Hopefully your stomach is ok, I cringe at anything that involves internal organs and stuff.

Silverhawk · August 5th, 2004, 16:09

[ QUOTE ]
Believe me - I've caught a TON of ##### my entire life from friends, family, etc., but on my death bed, I will look back and be glad I did it under my own terms

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm with John on this one.. Live and learn from your experiences and others.. but in the end it's all YOU in this big world.. LIVE IT UP chasing your dreams, work hard, and enjoy the view along the way.. things will always work out if your true to yourself and those you keep nearby....

Now get those feet better so you can get that solo in man !! ... and get some good eats... you ain't gonna gain that 20 lbs back eating hospital jello !!!

Take Care !!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif[/img]

ready2fly · August 5th, 2004, 16:49

Who's John?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

SteveC · August 5th, 2004, 17:21

[ QUOTE ]
Who's John?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Someone with not just a big ole melon-head, but a big "Johnstan", too.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Silverhawk · August 9th, 2004, 11:13

Lol.. my bad... wasn't paying attention !!!

Ecl!pse · August 30th, 2004, 23:23

I had the same situation as ESF, when I was 13 years old. Now, my mom supports me and pays for my lessons (I thank her dearly). My dad likes the idea, but seems to want me to do something else for a profession. I feel ya JC, and hang in there, because it will settle. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk..

July 31st, 2004, 13:31	#1
JC1188 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 303	Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. My parents were married 27 years, and now there heading for divorce. My mother sells Real Estate, and my father is a soon-to-be retired Boston Police Officer. When I use to tell my dad about my dreams to fly for a major airline, he basically told me I wouldn't make it. "Your eyesight, there all former military pilots..etc." I didn't listen to him, and still don't. My mother is 100% supportive. She takes me to the airport, offers to pay for a lesson here and there, and loves to listen to my goals. Well, my dad was walked out the front door. Didn't say goodbye, nothing. I really needed him when I currently have two broken feet, and my older sister needs him for a wedding in two months. He just doesn't care. He won't be there when I solo (about a month), won't be there when I get my PPL, and probably won't be there when I get my first flying job. This really sucks, and I hope none of you go through this, or have gone through it. You don't want to see your mother crying because she doesn't know what to do..its awful. Sorry for my rambeling, just needed to let off some steam and talk to someone. JC

July 31st, 2004, 15:54	#2
Bandit_Driver Old Skool Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DTW Posts: 1,872	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. JC: Sorry to hear that. That is truly ashame [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]. I know this may not help much but try and use it as motivation. Just think of how happy your mother will be when you solo and when you get your first job. Don't give up on your dream. You have take the first steps don't stop now. Best of luck

July 31st, 2004, 20:08	#3
EatSleepFly Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: ?? Posts: 4,600	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Sorry to hear that man. A couple years ago, my mom walked out on my dad after 23 years of marriage. I know your situation is the other way around, but it still sucks. Just hang in there, and make your mom proud. Your dad will be sorry someday.

July 31st, 2004, 21:12	#4
Lurker Posts: n/a	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Sorry to hear this JC. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

July 31st, 2004, 21:38	#5
JC1188 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 303	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Thanks for the support guys [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

July 31st, 2004, 23:28	#6
TheShortOne Old Skool Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Park City, UT Posts: 3,602	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. we can be supportive even if your dad isn't. How are the feet doing anyway? take care

July 31st, 2004, 23:58	#7
JC1188 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 303	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Hmm my feet: lLft one is almost healed, still a little bruising. Right one isn't even close to healed. I got my staples out a week ago, and i get the pins out Aug. 4th. The swelling won't be over with until the end of September though. I'm learning how to walk without a limp now, and I'll be using a cane when school starts up (out of class early [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) My new problem is my stomach, I have sharp pains nonstop, I can't eat (I've lost about 20 pounds, down in the 130's), and it basically just sucks. Hospital tomorrow to see whats up..hope everything goes well..

August 1st, 2004, 14:48	#8
Tim06 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Danbury, CT Posts: 487	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Jeez man, sorry about your parents....I find it so i dont even think wierd is the right word, but about 70% of the kids in my school only live with one parent. Oh and have fun at the hospital, enjoy all that great hospital food [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif[/img]

August 1st, 2004, 17:37	#9
I_Money Moderator Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Socal Posts: 5,692	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Mate - honestly I can not relate to your situation, however people do irrational things under stress, and emotions. I am sure your dad loves you, is proud of you, and wants you to be happy - when things settle down he will regret his actions!!! Realise this - and do not have the mind set I will make him pay. Life is to short for those silly games!!!

August 2nd, 2004, 01:21	#10
Kristie Big Chief's Woman Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Scottsdale, Arizona Posts: 19,293 Blog Entries: 3	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Geez JC, sorry to hear about what's going on... much less your feet and tummy hurting! Is it that you have sharp pains when you eat? are the sharp pains on your side or in your tummy area? Can you eat anything at all? My boss's wife had a problem like that and for a long time, they couldn't find anything wrong... but they did eventually find out what was wrong after weeks and weeks of not being able to eat anything but like those boost and ensure drinks...if the docs don't give you an answer tomorrow, let me know and i'll tell you what they checked on my boss's wife and what they found... I don't want to list it here in the forum for fear of "hypocondriac" symptoms [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].. KWIM?! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] Let us know what happens tomorrow and don't forget you've got your own support network here, when you need us! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] You'll get thru this! like people are saying, use it as your motivation to succeed - your dad's proud of you even if he doesn't say it (don't let anyone tell you different, he's your dad!), he's just got a lot going on right now and needs to work on himself for a while. When he's able to handle things in a better fashion, he'll let you know! but don't hold a grudge because like Iain said, life is just TOO short!

August 2nd, 2004, 15:06	#11
JC1188 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 303	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Thanks for the reply, Kristie.. I didn't go to the doctors because the stomach aches basically disappeared..although I have one every now and then when I eat (so yes, i eat, alot). I guess I'll just "ride through the virus," or whatever it is. Thanks for the support everyone [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

August 3rd, 2004, 00:32	#12
VaughnAir Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Minnesota Posts: 109	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. I am with Iian on this one to a point. Don't let somebody be a part of your life if they will only be a detriment. I live with what I call an added-value system. If a person doesn't add to the quality of my life (or at least not detract from it) they are quickly eliminated. Life is short, It should be fun. Good luck, I am sorry for your predicament.

August 3rd, 2004, 01:43	#13
I_Money Moderator Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Socal Posts: 5,692	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. [ QUOTE ] I am with Iian on this one to a point. [/ QUOTE ] Geez mate that is certainly not what I said - I said to understand your dad's tough times, and do not hold comments he said under emotion and stress against him once he has sorted everything out, as he will truely be sorry. Under stress we all behave a bit unkind - it is the way we are, understand this. I live my life under by 'treat others how you would want to be treated' - follow this rule and you will kick goals!

August 3rd, 2004, 10:14	#14
naunga Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: McDonough, GA Posts: 981	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. I wish I could say I can relate and understand, but I can't. I can offer you a couple of pearls of wisdom... Live your life for you. Don't do anything with the goal of making him sorry. If you do you'll just end up getting more and more vengful. Solo for you. Share it with your mother and friends, but don't do it for them. As a married person I can offer you this: your father's leaving is due to (I'm sure) complex problems with his relationship with your mother. It has nothing to do with you. Understand that, unless he has absolutely no heart, he really is hurting right now. For things to get so bad that he had to leave someone who he loved very deeply and his son he's must be in pain. Perhaps someday he'll explain it all to you, maybe he won't, but know that he loves you. Finally I truly believe that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. You have a lot of adversity to overcome, but see your life from the end. See yourself healed, see yourself after you've soloed, see yourself after you've passed your checkride. Think about the feelings etc. and think about how you'll be able to look back in amazement at what you overcame and what you accomplished. I wish you all the best. Naunga

August 3rd, 2004, 10:25	#15
ready2fly Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: DFW Posts: 7,373	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. [ QUOTE ] I wish I could say I can relate and understand, but I can't. I can offer you a couple of pearls of wisdom... Live your life for you. [/ QUOTE ] That's really the bottom line. Well said, naunga. Pretty much my entire life, I've done what I wanted to do the way I wanted to do it, when I wanted to. Believe me - I've caught a TON of ##### my entire life from friends, family, etc., but on my death bed, I will look back and be glad I did it under my own terms. Never live for anyone but you. While it is a sad, horrible, and extremely tough time you and your family are going through right now, take a breath and do what's best of you. Don't begrudge your father right now. Give it time. Let the dust settle - talk to him face to face, eye to eye and man to man, then decide. Know that you've got our support. Best of luck! R2F

August 3rd, 2004, 19:58	#16
VaughnAir Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Minnesota Posts: 109	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I am with Iian on this one to a point. [/ QUOTE ] Geez mate that is certainly not what I said - I said to understand your dad's tough times, and do not hold comments he said under emotion and stress against him once he has sorted everything out, as he will truely be sorry. Under stress we all behave a bit unkind - it is the way we are, understand this. I live my life under by 'treat others how you would want to be treated' - follow this rule and you will kick goals! [/ QUOTE ] Sorry, that came out a bit wrong. I agree not to hold his Father's actions against him permanently, but that he also doesn't need to sit and absorb any angst he (the Father) may have.

August 3rd, 2004, 23:48	#17
Sprint100 Old Skool Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: In my Cozy garage Posts: 6,272	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Sorry about the situation, but don't let it get you too down. Like every one says, use it as motivation and like John said. When the dust settles, talk to him man to man. That way things can be cleared out and you can really see what his intentions are. P.S. - Feet are very quick healers so you'll be back up and running and jumping in no time. Hopefully your stomach is ok, I cringe at anything that involves internal organs and stuff.

August 5th, 2004, 16:09	#18
Silverhawk Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 362	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. [ QUOTE ] Believe me - I've caught a TON of ##### my entire life from friends, family, etc., but on my death bed, I will look back and be glad I did it under my own terms [/ QUOTE ] I'm with John on this one.. Live and learn from your experiences and others.. but in the end it's all YOU in this big world.. LIVE IT UP chasing your dreams, work hard, and enjoy the view along the way.. things will always work out if your true to yourself and those you keep nearby.... Now get those feet better so you can get that solo in man !! ... and get some good eats... you ain't gonna gain that 20 lbs back eating hospital jello !!! Take Care !! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif[/img]

August 5th, 2004, 16:49	#19
ready2fly Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: DFW Posts: 7,373	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Who's John?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

August 5th, 2004, 17:21	#20
SteveC Modulator Join Date: May 2003 Location: GRR Posts: 8,788	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. [ QUOTE ] Who's John?? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] Someone with not just a big ole melon-head, but a big "Johnstan", too. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

August 9th, 2004, 11:13	#21
Silverhawk Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 362	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. Lol.. my bad... wasn't paying attention !!!

August 30th, 2004, 23:23	#22
Ecl!pse Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Pittsburgh, PA/Ann Arbor, MI Posts: 402	Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways.. I had the same situation as ESF, when I was 13 years old. Now, my mom supports me and pays for my lessons (I thank her dearly). My dad likes the idea, but seems to want me to do something else for a profession. I feel ya JC, and hang in there, because it will settle. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk..

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