|
March 16th, 2006, 13:48
| #1 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 4,833
|  Funny Things Heard On A Trip
Here are a few that made me laugh out loud on my last trip. What have you got? ATC to a very light CAL 757: "Continental 123, contact departure, enjoy your trip to the moon." Me to my Capt after a Mesa CRJ-900 was cleared for takeoff in front of us: "Check it out, there goes our career, up up and away."
__________________ "Anyone can do the job when things are going right. In this business we play for keeps." Ernest K. Gann |
|
|
March 16th, 2006, 16:11
| #2 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: KIDP/KCNU
Posts: 3,007
 |
Something I heard on our local CTAF at KCNU. "Chanute traffic this is Mooney 123, inbound for landing" 3 minutes later. King Air: "Chanute Traffic this is King Air 456, holding at 18. Mooney what is your position?" Mooney: "King Air 456, I am trying to figure that out myself" King Air: "Chanute Traffic, umm Mooney 123 we have you on TCAS, you are 5 miles Southwest, Do you think you can find it now?......King Air 456 will be straight out to the South. Good Day Chanute" I was amused by that, I guess I am easily entertained though.
__________________ www.flywhiteair.com http://www.myspace.com/desertdog71 Following message is for SkyCougar.  Took my chances on a big jet plane, Never let them tell you that they're all the same. |
|
|
|
March 16th, 2006, 16:11
| #3 | |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: KPHX, KFFZ, KIWA
Posts: 19,019
   | Quote:
 | |
|
|
|
March 16th, 2006, 16:58
| #4 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Left Seat
Posts: 5,733
|
Coming out of the backside of the Charlotte E gates, and one of the remaining Air Shuttle ERJs was requesting taxi. "Ramp, Airshuttle XXX ugggghgghhh ready to taxi." "Roger, take it to the line Elmer Fudd." Same trip, flying with a captain who just upgraded to the CRJ from the Dork (he was active duty military and was gone for 2 years). Doing 250 just outside the marker Me: "We might be a bit fast..." Him: "That's alright... we'll just flatten the props.... oh... yeah... slowing now." We made it but it wasn't pretty. |
|
|
|
March 16th, 2006, 17:25
| #5 | |
| Old Skool Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: KIDP/KCNU
Posts: 3,007
| Quote:
We all have our days I guess.
__________________ www.flywhiteair.com http://www.myspace.com/desertdog71 Following message is for SkyCougar. Took my chances on a big jet plane, Never let them tell you that they're all the same. | |
|
|
|
March 16th, 2006, 22:50
| #6 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: DXR, Connecticut
Posts: 1,177
|
3 days ago the tower controller requested how many birds that were coming at our plane from all directions. I reported "Tower, it's like world war two up here, and non of them have an IFR clearance!" Without missing a beat she then asked the species, which I thought was a rather interesting question to delve into when past the FAF... "geese, but a unique plumage." Ok so that wasn't funny but it has had me cracking up about it the past few days.
__________________ CFI/CFII/MEI ATP, SF340 |
|
|
|
March 16th, 2006, 23:32
| #7 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: (CBM) Columbus AFB, MS
Posts: 1,278
|
My student was taking the active with me in the right seat in an airplane with a bubble canopy. Procedure is to ask the other pilot "rail clear?" over the interphone before motoring the canopy closed to ensure the other guy doesn't get his hands or anything else caught in the canopy. The other pilot then responds back with "Rail clear".. if it's clear. Student makes the following radio exchange: Tower: "Raptor 62, cleared for take-off, 13C" Student: "Raptor 62, cleared for take-off, rail clear sir?" (with his finger on the transmit button for the entire exchange) Tower: "Rail clear" Some smart-ass flying in the pattern: "Rail clear" Some other smart-ass flying in the pattern: "Rail clear" Me: ...no response... to busy laughing at my student.
__________________ Dude, what are you trying to do? Land the airplane or adjust the field elevation? |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 02:20
| #8 |
| Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: ??
Posts: 4,600
|
Waiting for IFR release from an uncontrolled airport... FSS lady: "Expect a 20 min. delay for inbound traffic" Me: "Roger" FSS: "Can I get you anything while you wait, like a weather briefing, orrrrr... a burger?" Every morning about 4-5 of us freighters from different companies land at an uncontrolled airport at about the same time. Recently got this: Center: "You're #4 for the approach, expect to hold at ABC, and say approach request." Me: "VOR-B" Center: "Oh well, expect the VOR/DME-A, all the cool kids are doing it!"
__________________ |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 03:09
| #9 |
| Old Skool  |
LOL those are some great ones! i really look forward to gettin into some controlled airspace and a towered airport! but, today i heard someone do a quagmire (sp?) giggidy giggidy on the radio. i got a laugh out of it
__________________ "There needs to be more drinking here on JC. We need more ******* partying!" -Doug Taylor 210TT 20 ME Last edited by frog_flyer; March 17th, 2006 at 03:59. |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 09:06
| #10 | |
| Old Skool Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Left Seat
Posts: 5,733
| Quote:
| |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 09:33
| #11 | |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Park City, UT
Posts: 12,336
 | Quote:
__________________  | |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 09:55
| #12 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Boulder, CO (anywhere but Fresno)
Posts: 1,488
|
On ops the other day in LAX I asked where our next aircraft was going to be parked. Me: "Ops do you know where St. George is?" Smartass pilot: "Southern Utah"
__________________ "Don't lick the fridge." - Amber (MQAAord) |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 14:10
| #13 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: NC
Posts: 2,260
|
On NY Center earlier today: SWA: "Got any corners we can cut today?" Center: "I've got your request." Unknown A/C: "You guys are always cutting corners Southwest. How those TR's working today?" |
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 16:13
| #14 |
| Agent Smith  |
The really funny stuff I've heard I'd be afraid to put on a website because I'd get flamed for sure. Or sued for even repeating it! Probably the one I can talk about is there was a crew waiting for a gate and one pilot said to the other one: Pilot A: "What's he got, gerbils pushing the plane back?" Pilot B: "Richard Gere would be proud!" Pilot A: "Is that true about Richard Gere?" Pilot B: "I doubt it. I should look on snopes" Pilot A: "Do gay guys really do that?" Pilot B: "I don't think so. Hey, let me SMS one of my gay pals and ask him"
__________________ Doug Taylor http://76school.flyblog.com (old!) http://30west.flyblog.com (updated 11/28) |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 16:33
| #15 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Boulder, CO (anywhere but Fresno)
Posts: 1,488
|
Please tell me that was a stuck mic!
__________________ "Don't lick the fridge." - Amber (MQAAord) |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 16:49
| #16 | |
| Old Skool Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: KPHX, KFFZ, KIWA
Posts: 19,019
| Quote:
 | |
|
|
|
March 17th, 2006, 23:29
| #17 |
| Old Skool |
out at gky last week, a guy was on his commercial checkride and was monitoring clearance or whatever you do for that, and was xmitting on arlington's traffic channel. He ran thru his clearance twice before he realized it. it was really funny. what a great way to start a checkride!
__________________ "There needs to be more drinking here on JC. We need more ******* partying!" -Doug Taylor 210TT 20 ME |
|
|
|
March 18th, 2006, 03:24
| #18 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,395
|
I was sitting in the jumpseat of a DC-9 last year. It was night over western PA/Ohio area. Dinner had been served and the captain pulled a ziploc bag of almonds out and started munching. He turned to the FO and I and offered us some almonds. I said no thanks and he said "they'll be right here if you want 'em" and dropped the sealed bag onto the center console. At least five minutes later, "Ding" from the ACARS. YOU HAVE STUCK MIC. CNTCT CLE CNTR ON 123.45. All three heads turned to the bag of almonds that had landed squarely upon the mic button and had been holding it down through five minutes of conversation. Took a minute or two for the laughter to subside for the radio call to be made!
__________________ Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history. |
|
|
|
March 18th, 2006, 11:11
| #19 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Newport Beach, CA
Posts: 554
|
There was a big fire yesterday off the end of the airport in EWR. Everybody and their brother was asking about it. CAL: "Continental 26 Heavy, DOIN for 4R." TWR: "Continental 26 Heavy, 4R Cleared to land." CAL: "Pretty big fire out there. What is it?" TWR: "Brush fire." CAL: "Didn't think there was that much to burn in Jersey." TWR: "Yeah, we call that Urban Renewal." |
|
|
|
March 18th, 2006, 13:02
| #20 |
| Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 4,833
|
Another one while we were taxiing in after arrival in EWR. We had landed on a different runway. "Continental 123, cleared to land runway 22L, caution windshear on short final plus or minus 10 knots, caution balloon reported on the final at 2000." "Ok cleared to land, oh yeah, look there, theres the balloons."
__________________ "Anyone can do the job when things are going right. In this business we play for keeps." Ernest K. Gann |
|
|
|
March 18th, 2006, 13:56
| #21 |
| Old Skool Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Left Seat
Posts: 5,733
|
Heh.... I made that same call into DCA in October or November. We were doing the Mount Vernon Visual, circle 33 and were warned about kite activity over the naval base. The captain makes a 500 foot call for me and then transmits, "kites in sight for bluestreak". Of course, I had to look around for the kite and overshot the turn a little. At least, that's MY excuse for the bad landing |
|
|
|
March 18th, 2006, 14:35
| #22 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: CVG
Posts: 1,060
|
Here are a few funny ones...enjoy! Tower: "Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?" Pilot: "Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot." ------------- Tower: "Delta Oscar Mike, squawk 0476." Pilot: "Say again." Tower: "Squawk 0476." Pilot: "Four, zero...? " Tower: "Would you like an easier one?" -------------- Tower: Mission 123, do you have problems? Pilot: I think I've lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel! --------------- Tower: Do you have enough fuel or not? Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR!
__________________ Formerly UND_Flyer  |
|
|
|
March 18th, 2006, 15:00
| #23 |
| Old Skool Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: KIDP/KCNU
Posts: 3,007
|
I was in the FBO the other day watching a newer student do some crosswind landings. One in particular involved some side loadings lets just say. A moment later, after passing behind the building and blocking my view, I hear.... "Chanute Traffic, Cessna 37 Quebec is off the runway." I replied from the FBO "Cessna 37 Quebec...do you need assistance?" Reply "Why would I need assistance??" I replied: "You did say off the runway correct?" Pause..... "Cessna 37 Quebec is CLEAR the active....giggle giggle"
__________________ www.flywhiteair.com http://www.myspace.com/desertdog71 Following message is for SkyCougar. Took my chances on a big jet plane, Never let them tell you that they're all the same. |
|
|
|
March 20th, 2006, 15:34
| #24 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Frigid NWA Hub
Posts: 1,885
|
Air Wis: "Center Wisconsin XXXX requesting direct Bradford" Center: "Direct Bradford" Air Wis: "Thanks a lot we appreciate it" Center: "I'm here for ya"
__________________ "I'd rather screw my way around the country then blow my way around..." - Saab 340 Driver |
|
|
|
March 21st, 2006, 05:00
| #25 |
| Old Skool  Join Date: May 2002 Location: LCK
Posts: 1,653
|
Experimental xxx: Approach, I'd like to change my destination. Approach: Rodger experimental xxx, ident Exp: ..... 4376 App: No sir Ident please Exp: (long pause) I don't know what that is App: It's the little button on your.... there you go! ------------------------------------------------ And for you Super Troopers fans, heard over Louisville App: UPS xxx cleared direct meow(unsure of intersection spelling) UPS: Rodger, uh, direct meow? App: Afirm, direct meow UPS: Direct meow, how do you spell that App: (gives spelling) UPS: Ok, rodger direct meow
__________________ <-- That guy with Belushi as his avitar |
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Linear Mode
