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Originally Posted by gomntwins  Hey, I'm not one to really talk about my personal life... but I'm in a bad position at the moment with my longterm girlfriend. I'm looking for any advice.
My situation: I fly freight and live in a town that's 350 miles away from my g/f. She's in grad school at the moment working on her PhD... we've been doing this for about 2 years now. Prior to this we'd lived together for years. Amazingly we went for the first year and a half of living 300 miles apart without any large issues. It's been really nice actually-- she proved to me that we'd actually work together with me being a pilot. She's extremely independent and has proven that above and beyond. We ran into some issues about 6 months ago, worked through those... and hit a rough patch about a month and a half ago where she actually 'broke' up with me. She wasn't sure if we were right for one another. Weird deal actually-- we were talking about engagement rings on Sunday, everything sounded ok on wed., thurs. I new something was wrong... Friday and it was supposedly done. Within three weeks, with a lot of convincing... and more new clothes than I've bought in years... I talked her into dinner. Dinner went very well, we essentially got back together. Everything has been a little weird... but I've went out of my way to make sure everything's been as perfect as possible-- I made the trek on weekends... and did my best to have wonderful dates. It went well. Things would be great on saturday/sunday after the first 30 minutes of awkward... I'd head home sunday, talk with her throughout the week... and by the end of the week you could hear her having doubts (the distance is killing me at the moment I think). She didn't want me to come this weekend because of school work... she just called me (sunday night) and says she wants to take a 'break'.
My questions: First off, I don't know what a break is... anybody? Also, where should I go from here? She wasn't as negative about us this time around... but it's not positive. She already has agreed to meet me from dinner in a couple weeks. I'm fairly confident I can convince her back. Any ideas on how to prove myself? She knows I love her... she knows how hard I'm trying... but she doesn't know if we're right. This has been a fairly problem free relationship for a long time-- but not anymore. I'm giving her what she wants... I'm not acting all stalker or anything... I gave her space last time around... but did my best to stay in her life-- calling every few days, etc. It worked-- although not really. Any ideas? I'm really confused. Where should I go from here? |
Relationships are 50/50. Granted I haven't heard her side of the story, but all I hear is you doing everything.
Also, if you have to convince or prove yourself to someone (and there isn't a reason for trust issues) then maybe it's time to cut your losses.
Also, I hear you say that you're giving her all that she wants. Question, what're you doing for you, to take care of your needs.
It's important in a relationship to realize that you too are an individual, who has needs and not at all be co-dependent.