It's not overrated, it's a great benefit.
And you bennies largely depend on the airline you fly for. Usually as you climb up the 'food chain', the benefits improve as well.
Again, depends. Kristie and I can fly, unlimited, Delta for $50/year, on-time fee. But we pay international taxes when we fly to Europe which range from $20 to $80 depending on the country. The Brits are exceptionally "proud" of their services so charge accordingly.
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Or is it just free for me but my spouse and parents have to pay?
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Again, depends on the airline.
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And what about us as a family(future family) flying on another airline is that aloud?
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Sure, there are "Zed" fares, which I have no idea what they are and things like ID-90 and ID-75's (more or less 90% and 75% off the full fare) while traveling "offline" or a carrier other than the one you're employed by.
HOWEVER, if there's someplace you absolutely need to be, you're far better off buying a ticket. Like if you've got big plans to non rev to Las Vegas for New Years eve, or fly to Munich on a specific day for Oktoberfest, you'd better be flexible!
I've had pretty good luck non-revving so far, but when I get stuck or have to change travel plans last minute, I don't get too bent out of shape.