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Originally Posted by greaper007 Kristi, I just don't think it's neccessary to be married in order to have kids. Also I pretty much have a spouse right now. I see where you're coming from, I just don't see how marriage is so different from being in a monogamous long term relationship. |
don't put words in my mouth...I never said it was necessary (at least not in today's generation)... but it is important to remember that a "family" bond is needed around kids whether it's 1 parent or 2 and married parents are usually the parents that works hardest to maintain that "family" bond - Divorced parents have a much more difficult time of doing that - IMO.
and yeah, you may already have a quote on quote spouse right now, but in the eyes of the law.. she's just a girl living with you or you with her...there's no security on either end.. and my thing about the spouse card was in relation to "if you get into the airlines, she won't be able to fly free unless shes a spouse".. same goes with healthcare and all the other benefits.
I have to agree with seagull some too because most women do give up their careers to raise the kids, even though the husbands/men say "they'll help" a lot of them pour their blood, sweat and tears into their careers and let the women take care of "homelife"...someone has to take care of the kids, it's normally the woman and that's where the security of marriage comes into play. unless, of course, you plan on paying your girlfriend a bi-weekly paycheck, retirement & healthcare benefits for raising the kids??
I mean, if your talking about making the marriage/family thing a *business*.. then it should all be that way shouldn't it?
granted, she may keep her full time job or go part time... but for the most part, she's (the working mom) isn't going to be working 100% on her career because she has a family to raise at home (depending on how much dad gets involved) - ie: it's normally the woman that has to "give it up" for the kids/family.. even in today's day and age. I see it all the time...
if your both happier with not getting married, then by all means, don't get married...