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lilith · April 10th, 2005, 17:07

EATSLEEPFLY,

I saw your post just now.and knew I had to write this.....Iam a mom of 1 he's only 3 years old so I don't come to you with much "mom" expierience. I come to you from the point of view from the troubled kid side.

I was always the rebellious one.crazy and wild.and always in lots of trouble.........the MORE Restricted. the MORE I rebelled the MORE they disaplined the MORE I disobeyed......I went out with every long haired freaky guy I could find just to tick them off.

IT WAS A WAR. A war not because they said white and I said black.

I was at war for being myself.as a individule. I didn't want advice.I didn't want to "become" my parents. I wanted to be my own person making my own decisions (weather they be wrong or right) and I wanted to live life, see it, taste it, expierience it. I fought hard. They faught hard.
And I remember screaming at them once, "you don't even know who Iam"!

AHHHHhhhh the youth.I now understand the phrase "youth is wasted on the young"
anyway what Iam saying is because of my tramatizing youth years (to me and my parents) my biggest fear is KARMA now that Iam a mom Im sure it's gonna come back and bite me in the BUTT. OUr son is just like me i can see it already..SO i have thought and thought about how Iam to approach life lessons with him. Maybe this will help.

youth cannot invision the consequences of thier actions may cause long term effects on thier life because they CANNOT COMPREHEND what future actually means......being "OLD" to them is hitting age 30!!! To them they think they are immortal nothing can touch them, hurt them,thier invinciable. They live for the moment without much thought to anyone else. They can't much think past "themselves" the youth are very self absorbed (partly to do with the difference in the way the teenage mind is developed V's an Adult's) thus in part blame Im sure......NOt quite kid not quite Adult/stuck in the middle. And a parents misunderstanding of What's wrong with this kids BRAIN! WEll it's not deleloped yet!!!!!! DUH!!!!!

Anyway, I have thought and thought and haqve come up with some field trip ideas for my child while going through these years..........

When it comes to the sex talk........you can talk/lecture use books and movies but they wont get that.so I plan to take my kid to places in person.

The sex talk: Volunteer time at an AIDS CLINIC with kids and Adults. Spend time with a teenage mother/father seeing how it changed thier life.

DRUGS and Alcohol: TAke him to an AA meeting with youth then Adults.

Breaking the law: Take him to a court session and then to talk to some inmates makebe a tour through ALCATRAZ or something.

MY POINT IS KIDS CANT SEE CONSEQUENCES UNTILL YOU MAKE THEM SEE THE CONSEQUENCES. or they live them.

There is a struggle to help him become a good kid to "behave"
NOONE CAN MAKE HIM........he has to change because he wants to. He is the only one who has the power to change the way he acts.........all your family can do is give him the information, love him, "SHOW HIM THE CONSEQUENCES", do your best and pray.

I highly reccoment Dr. Phils Book FAmily first.

Please keep us posted.Would love to know how your situation turns out.

April 10th, 2005, 17:07	#12
lilith Newbie Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Lake Mary, FL Posts: 4	Re: Need some serious advice... EATSLEEPFLY, I saw your post just now.and knew I had to write this.....Iam a mom of 1 he's only 3 years old so I don't come to you with much "mom" expierience. I come to you from the point of view from the troubled kid side. I was always the rebellious one.crazy and wild.and always in lots of trouble.........the MORE Restricted. the MORE I rebelled the MORE they disaplined the MORE I disobeyed......I went out with every long haired freaky guy I could find just to tick them off. IT WAS A WAR. A war not because they said white and I said black. I was at war for being myself.as a individule. I didn't want advice.I didn't want to "become" my parents. I wanted to be my own person making my own decisions (weather they be wrong or right) and I wanted to live life, see it, taste it, expierience it. I fought hard. They faught hard. And I remember screaming at them once, "you don't even know who Iam"! AHHHHhhhh the youth.I now understand the phrase "youth is wasted on the young" anyway what Iam saying is because of my tramatizing youth years (to me and my parents) my biggest fear is KARMA now that Iam a mom Im sure it's gonna come back and bite me in the BUTT. OUr son is just like me i can see it already..SO i have thought and thought about how Iam to approach life lessons with him. Maybe this will help. youth cannot invision the consequences of thier actions may cause long term effects on thier life because they CANNOT COMPREHEND what future actually means......being "OLD" to them is hitting age 30!!! To them they think they are immortal nothing can touch them, hurt them,thier invinciable. They live for the moment without much thought to anyone else. They can't much think past "themselves" the youth are very self absorbed (partly to do with the difference in the way the teenage mind is developed V's an Adult's) thus in part blame Im sure......NOt quite kid not quite Adult/stuck in the middle. And a parents misunderstanding of What's wrong with this kids BRAIN! WEll it's not deleloped yet!!!!!! DUH!!!!! Anyway, I have thought and thought and haqve come up with some field trip ideas for my child while going through these years.......... When it comes to the sex talk........you can talk/lecture use books and movies but they wont get that.so I plan to take my kid to places in person. The sex talk: Volunteer time at an AIDS CLINIC with kids and Adults. Spend time with a teenage mother/father seeing how it changed thier life. DRUGS and Alcohol: TAke him to an AA meeting with youth then Adults. Breaking the law: Take him to a court session and then to talk to some inmates makebe a tour through ALCATRAZ or something. MY POINT IS KIDS CANT SEE CONSEQUENCES UNTILL YOU MAKE THEM SEE THE CONSEQUENCES. or they live them. There is a struggle to help him become a good kid to "behave" NOONE CAN MAKE HIM........he has to change because he wants to. He is the only one who has the power to change the way he acts.........all your family can do is give him the information, love him, "SHOW HIM THE CONSEQUENCES", do your best and pray. I highly reccoment Dr. Phils Book FAmily first. Please keep us posted.Would love to know how your situation turns out.