[minitour]

Originally Posted by killbilly

Ian...

Kids are marvelous in the ways they can absorb complex relationship issues. They're also really dumb in the sense that they can't always articulate their feelings or have the emotional experience and padding to process things. This poor kid has gotten a flood of mixed messages ("Ian's great!" "Ian's not so great, but Dad is." "But Dad's not great!") (and yes, I'm oversimplifying it) and he's having a hard time processing all this.

I'd back off entirely. Let him know that you think he's a good kid and you like him, but his parents are his parents and they're the ones who set the boundaries. Let his mom (and him) know that you're around if they want you, and check in with Mom every once in a while to see how he's doing.

Let the kid process all this stuff in his way. Most you can do at this point is be there for him if he wants you there, via Mom and/or Dad if he changes his tune.

Couldn't agree more.

-mini