jetcareers - View Single Post

mtsu_av8er · May 20th, 2004, 13:42

I feel your pain. Although this may be the unpopular opinion in the forum, I will let you know how I dealt with a similar situation.

I had been in the Marine Corps for quite a while, and made a pretty darn fine Marine. Meritorious promotions, and well on my way to becomming The Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps. 4 years in The Grunts, 4 years swinging in the wing and the next 4 would have been on a special duty (Drill Instructor or Recruiting. Then I took a hit off of that pipe - I took an intro flight.

I did tons of research, flew as much as I could while supporting a household and tried to determine if I needed to stay in the Corps or follow my next dream. Well, flying won over and although I still dedicated 110% to the Corps, I started making all of the mental, financial and administrative preparations to become a civilian again. This, however, is where my marriage hit the rocks.

My ex will tell you...she wasn't ready for all of that change, especially when things were going sooo well in the Marine Corps! We couldn't agree on it.

No, in principle, I would have "done anything..." to save my marriage. But that doesn't work. If she didn't want me to follow this dream, what would be next? My hobbies? Where we lived? Where was my say in this entire ordeal?

As hard as it was, I decided that if she couldn't back me up in what was one of the more difficult decisions I'd ever made, then it wasn't worth it. We tried counseling, and things "got better". But that was BS, in my opinion. Things would be better for a while, but they would come back as soon as times became rough again.

Do I regret being married? Not at all. Do I regret getting divorced? Not at all. Everything happens for a reason. We have a beautiful daughter and a great friendship. She's married since then and has a new family, and that's how she wanted it.

You see, as unpopular as this concept is in our society, I think that I am the most important person in my life. Not my spouse, not my children, and I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others. If I don't take care of myself, then I have nothing to give to others. Nobody else has to look at me in the mirror when I get out of bed, so I live to complete myself. I think that if I do this, I'll have more to offer other people.

Whatever decision you make, remember to follow what's in your heart. Don't live to please others or to have regrets. That's how people become grouchy old men!!!

Keep your head up, and let me know if you need anything - this can be a rough time!!!

May 20th, 2004, 13:42	#7
mtsu_av8er Old Skool Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Utopia Posts: 12,468	Re: Scared I feel your pain. Although this may be the unpopular opinion in the forum, I will let you know how I dealt with a similar situation. I had been in the Marine Corps for quite a while, and made a pretty darn fine Marine. Meritorious promotions, and well on my way to becomming The Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps. 4 years in The Grunts, 4 years swinging in the wing and the next 4 would have been on a special duty (Drill Instructor or Recruiting. Then I took a hit off of that pipe - I took an intro flight. I did tons of research, flew as much as I could while supporting a household and tried to determine if I needed to stay in the Corps or follow my next dream. Well, flying won over and although I still dedicated 110% to the Corps, I started making all of the mental, financial and administrative preparations to become a civilian again. This, however, is where my marriage hit the rocks. My ex will tell you...she wasn't ready for all of that change, especially when things were going sooo well in the Marine Corps! We couldn't agree on it. No, in principle, I would have "done anything..." to save my marriage. But that doesn't work. If she didn't want me to follow this dream, what would be next? My hobbies? Where we lived? Where was my say in this entire ordeal? As hard as it was, I decided that if she couldn't back me up in what was one of the more difficult decisions I'd ever made, then it wasn't worth it. We tried counseling, and things "got better". But that was BS, in my opinion. Things would be better for a while, but they would come back as soon as times became rough again. Do I regret being married? Not at all. Do I regret getting divorced? Not at all. Everything happens for a reason. We have a beautiful daughter and a great friendship. She's married since then and has a new family, and that's how she wanted it. You see, as unpopular as this concept is in our society, I think that I am the most important person in my life. Not my spouse, not my children, and I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others. If I don't take care of myself, then I have nothing to give to others. Nobody else has to look at me in the mirror when I get out of bed, so I live to complete myself. I think that if I do this, I'll have more to offer other people. Whatever decision you make, remember to follow what's in your heart. Don't live to please others or to have regrets. That's how people become grouchy old men!!! Keep your head up, and let me know if you need anything - this can be a rough time!!!