[Blackhawk]

1. Daughter is about 2. We decide to do what most parents do who go to church- we give her some money to put in the collection plate (2 quarters). Well, we forgot to brief her ahead of time. The collection plate comes around and my wife tells our daughter to put the money in the plate. Out daughter shakes her head "no". My wife tells my daughter again to put the money in the collection plate- she needs to give it to the church. Our daughter screams at the top of her lungs, "It's my money and the church can't have it!!"
2. Same daughter, maybe 3. We are at a birthday party at a very nice house. I look out the window, and there is my daughter with her dress lifted up squatting and peeing on the front lawn. My wife just about spits her drink out and tells me, "Go talk to your daughter." I go running out there yelling at her to stop. My daughter is all POed at me for stopping her- wants to know what the big deal is as the boys are peeing in the bushes, why can't she pee on the lawn. I have to explain to her that it's different... but that does not sit well.
3. Same daughter, now about 9. We are at a party and she asks if she can have some lemonade slushy. I go ahead and pour her some. A few minutes later I'm with my wife and she asks for more margarita. I ask her where it is, and she points to the same "lemonade slushy" that I just gave my daughter. Just then my daughter comes up and says, "Daddy, this lemonade tastes funny." My wife just about killed me.
4. SAME daughter, now about 12. I'm driving her to soccer practice, trying to converse with her but it's like talking to a brick wall. Finally in frustration I ask her, "What happened to that sweet little daddy's girl who always wanted to talk to me." She keeps looking out her window and responds, "She's not in right now try calling back later."